kingdumbass
21-11-2007, 04:05 AM
OK, so at work today, they held a potluck....
You know -- one of those events in which everyone brings food, and there's a general binge.
So, I was skulking around the break room, looking at all of the stuff that had been set out, and one of the females whose name I don't know told me to take whatever I wanted.
"Anything?", I asked.
"Yes, eat it all, if you want" she said. "It's all going to be thrown out, anyway."
"All right."
Well, here's the thing -- among the items on the counter were several cheesecakes, all of different varieties. There were cinnamon cheesecakes; apple; chocolate; butterscotch; cherry....Shit, there was even one topped with Oreo cookies.
And I wanted to try all of them.
SO, once I was alone, I took a bite out of one piece of cheesecake, and then tossed it in the trash. Then, I took a bite out of another kind of cheesecake, and threw IT in the trash. See where I'm going with this? Basically, I sampled each kind. One bite of each variety. To me this is logical, as it allowed me to try several varieties of cake without having to commit to any one of them. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, it's the only way to behave in such a situation. Why settle for just one kind of cake when there are literally 8 or 9 flavors before you? Have a little of each, I say!
Anyway, it later turns out that another of my coworkers had seen me do this, and it apparently generated some resentment towards me in the office. I was finally confronted.
"You literally wasted 25 dollars worth of cheesecake," someone scolded me.
"The girl from sales TOLD me to take as much of whatever I wanted!" I protested.
"She didn't tell you to WASTE it!", the woman argued.
"But she said it was going to be thrown away!" was my defense.
Apparently, no one found this to be acceptable. One woman even accused me of being anorexic for my behavior, apparently ignoring the fact that I had just consumed what probably amounted to three or four pieces of cheesecake...just, you know, one little piece of a piece at a time.
I don't get what their problem is. I was TOLD to take as much as I wanted. Suppose I had just eaten all seven pieces of cake entirely, rather than taking one bite out of each, and throwing the rest away??? I'll bet they would have found that amusing, and in no way offensive. But, really, what difference would it have made? Who cares whether it winds up in a sewer or a landfill?
And it's not like I could have taken just a tiny piece of each one, leaving the rest for others, as that would have required my cutting up the damn cakes, leaving them all mutilated on the counter, and causing more bitching.
Again, I was TOLD to take as much as I wanted! I was fucking TOLD I could take ANYTHING!!! Don't tell me I can take WHATEVER I WANT if you don't mean it.
Goddamn. It's a good thing they didn't see what I did with the rest of the food -- one bite of a chicken wing; one bite of pizza; one bite of a hamburger; one bite of a Polish sausage, one bite of donut...Not to mention the jello, pumpkin pie, various cookies, bagel, and hot dog. Shit, what can I say? I just want a little sample of everything.
(By the way, I concluded that the cheesecake topped with bits of a Butterfinger bar was the best. I have half a mind to go back there and steal the rest of that whole pie, just to spite those fuckers).
You know -- one of those events in which everyone brings food, and there's a general binge.
So, I was skulking around the break room, looking at all of the stuff that had been set out, and one of the females whose name I don't know told me to take whatever I wanted.
"Anything?", I asked.
"Yes, eat it all, if you want" she said. "It's all going to be thrown out, anyway."
"All right."
Well, here's the thing -- among the items on the counter were several cheesecakes, all of different varieties. There were cinnamon cheesecakes; apple; chocolate; butterscotch; cherry....Shit, there was even one topped with Oreo cookies.
And I wanted to try all of them.
SO, once I was alone, I took a bite out of one piece of cheesecake, and then tossed it in the trash. Then, I took a bite out of another kind of cheesecake, and threw IT in the trash. See where I'm going with this? Basically, I sampled each kind. One bite of each variety. To me this is logical, as it allowed me to try several varieties of cake without having to commit to any one of them. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, it's the only way to behave in such a situation. Why settle for just one kind of cake when there are literally 8 or 9 flavors before you? Have a little of each, I say!
Anyway, it later turns out that another of my coworkers had seen me do this, and it apparently generated some resentment towards me in the office. I was finally confronted.
"You literally wasted 25 dollars worth of cheesecake," someone scolded me.
"The girl from sales TOLD me to take as much of whatever I wanted!" I protested.
"She didn't tell you to WASTE it!", the woman argued.
"But she said it was going to be thrown away!" was my defense.
Apparently, no one found this to be acceptable. One woman even accused me of being anorexic for my behavior, apparently ignoring the fact that I had just consumed what probably amounted to three or four pieces of cheesecake...just, you know, one little piece of a piece at a time.
I don't get what their problem is. I was TOLD to take as much as I wanted. Suppose I had just eaten all seven pieces of cake entirely, rather than taking one bite out of each, and throwing the rest away??? I'll bet they would have found that amusing, and in no way offensive. But, really, what difference would it have made? Who cares whether it winds up in a sewer or a landfill?
And it's not like I could have taken just a tiny piece of each one, leaving the rest for others, as that would have required my cutting up the damn cakes, leaving them all mutilated on the counter, and causing more bitching.
Again, I was TOLD to take as much as I wanted! I was fucking TOLD I could take ANYTHING!!! Don't tell me I can take WHATEVER I WANT if you don't mean it.
Goddamn. It's a good thing they didn't see what I did with the rest of the food -- one bite of a chicken wing; one bite of pizza; one bite of a hamburger; one bite of a Polish sausage, one bite of donut...Not to mention the jello, pumpkin pie, various cookies, bagel, and hot dog. Shit, what can I say? I just want a little sample of everything.
(By the way, I concluded that the cheesecake topped with bits of a Butterfinger bar was the best. I have half a mind to go back there and steal the rest of that whole pie, just to spite those fuckers).