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Banana Breakfast
01-10-2007, 04:35 AM
OK, I was hanging out at my friend Clive's place, and his girlfriend's and her 16-year-old sister, Heather, were over. I should note that I really hate Heather. A lot.

So I'm over there, because Clive and I have a lot of money on the Green Bay. I'm trying to stay calm, but this is the biggest bet I've made in years, and it's easily the most important, and the whore-child won't shut the fuck up. I called her some names, and she settled down for a while, but in the 4th, in a really tight game she starts blabbering:

Me: "Fuck-yes! Eat shit, you sopping boxes!"

Heather: "You guys think I should move to NYC?"

Me: "You are a God! Yes! You are my God and I worship you!"

Heather: "Cyril, should I?"

Me: "I don't funking know...FUCK YOU, you washed-up red-neck half-queer. Fuck!"

Heather: "CYRIL!: [I look over] SHOULD I go to NY when I graduate...like work for a magazine?"

Me: "That's what you're interrupting this for?"

Heather: "[...]"

Me: "What are you, fucking stupid? What are your other options, being a princess for a living? Maybe raising ponies? My dream, actually, is to wake up one morning having switched bodies with someone with whom I don't empathize, and have a big wacky adventure. Don't ever fucking talk to me again." [Turns head back to TV...]

[*Slap*]

I really don't think THAT was what crossed a line. Annoying little twat.

Mandy
01-10-2007, 04:39 AM
Her first mistake was even attempting to talk to a male during a game. Her second mistake was attempting to ask a male an opinion on something.

:p

Banana Breakfast
01-10-2007, 04:42 AM
I had money I didn't have on that game, and was retty clearly not interested in her little girl fantasies. I'm actually pretty tolerent of her bullshit, most of the time.

Mandy
01-10-2007, 04:44 AM
So...did your team win? Also, yeah, I don't get along with girls too well. Especially really annoying ones that talk about stuff that no one cares about.

Banana Breakfast
01-10-2007, 04:47 AM
Best night of my life. Farvey got me back to a respectible roll, and Radiohead announced their new album is availible on the 10th. I'm paying $80 for the "discbox."

Mandy
01-10-2007, 04:50 AM
I can't say I'm into Radiohead that much, but I'm very happy for you. :p

So Cyril, huh? That's actually a really great name. It's how I would pronounce "cereal" if I was really drunk.

JenR
01-10-2007, 05:11 AM
..I love RadioHead.

Mandy
01-10-2007, 05:12 AM
..I love Head.

Keep it in your pants, Jen.

JenR
01-10-2007, 05:16 AM
god, dont tease me like that. i actually thought i typed only 'head.' in my post. ha

Mandy
01-10-2007, 05:27 AM
Hahaha, that was partially the point. Still. I know your background in indecent exposure... :p

Banana Breakfast
01-10-2007, 05:39 AM
I can't say I'm into Radiohead that much, but I'm very happy for you. :p

So Cyril, huh? That's actually a really great name. It's how I would pronounce "cereal" if I was really drunk.

It's actually not my birth-name, but it's pretty much the standard. It's a complicated reference to both Good Will Hunting and Oz.

Banana Breakfast
01-10-2007, 05:41 AM
..I love RadioHead.

Damn well better.

Mandy
01-10-2007, 05:41 AM
Still though. I'd name my kid that and call him "Cy."

duckula
01-10-2007, 10:47 AM
That was the best story ever.

Hazzle
01-10-2007, 12:59 PM
That was the best story ever.

Indubitably.

barrington
01-10-2007, 01:02 PM
That story is more or less duckula embodied.
You two are going to get along famously.

Hazzle
01-10-2007, 01:05 PM
That story is more or less duckula embodied.
You two are going to get along famously.

Heh, didn't you know Banana had his own "Ask" thread (like Ask Duckula) over on NP.com? It's not that dissimilar to Ducky's version, the tone certainly made me think he and Ducks would get on well.

That and some of the one-liners in the shoutbox have reminded me a bit of Ducky. Jeez...is this place big enough for two Ducks? Or is this a sign of the apocalypse? I fear it may be the latter.

duckula
01-10-2007, 04:04 PM
Two of me? Goddamnit I am a beautiful and unique snowflake.

Mandy
01-10-2007, 05:16 PM
They like you. They really like you.

Hazzle
01-10-2007, 05:39 PM
Two of me? Goddamnit I am a beautiful and unique snowflake.

Beautiful, certainly not. I have the pictures as proof. Unique? Where once I would have said "definitely" I think the jury may be out on that one. The Americans have been longing for their very own version though, now they have one it means you need to spend less time talking to the septics.

And yes Mandy, I actually do like Banana Breakfast. Which is surprising as I don't like anyone.

Jacoby
01-10-2007, 06:42 PM
I like how this Heather girl thinks she can get a job with a magazine company in NY right out of high school.

"What's that? You have no experience in the field and you just graduated high school? Get that sweet ass over here right now!"

Porcelain_Doll
02-10-2007, 12:21 AM
And yes Mandy, I actually do like Banana Breakfast. Which is surprising as I don't like anyone.

I've a hard time liking people too. Shame Allah picked such a tempting name for Sculpters/Voodooers....'cause he hates me, don't you? ;) you don't like teenage Jews who argue back. :p

Hazzle
02-10-2007, 11:25 AM
I like how this Heather girl thinks she can get a job with a magazine company in NY right out of high school.

Funnily enough she might. I know someone who got a job at a modelling agency (not as a model) with only a year of college in which I don't she even did that well. The job was initially a summer internship-type deal but she impressed enough to get offered the gig permanently and has no plans to go back to college. Who you know matters more than what you know.

I've a hard time liking people too. Shame Allah picked such a tempting name for Sculpters/Voodooers....'cause he hates me, don't you? ;) you don't like teenage Jews who argue back. :p

If I didn't like teenage Jews who argue back I wouldn't like you ;). And no, I don't hate you. Yet.

Porcelain_Doll
02-10-2007, 09:21 PM
If I didn't like teenage Jews who argue back I wouldn't like you ;). And no, I don't hate you. Yet.

gee, thanks...

I wasn't kidding, Allah doesn't seem to like me, though I haven't lost much sleep over it...if I did so for every person who didn't like me I'd be a chronic insomniac.
Apparently he considers my religion pure bigotry and I'm really silly for not listening to him, 'cause people like him are usually, quote: "quite sharp".
Yeah, we didn't get off on the right foot, but he's fun to read.

Banana Breakfast
02-10-2007, 10:46 PM
Hi, Betty. We may not get along, but (a) I don't think your religion is bigotry, I just think it's a waste of time, like all religions. If I'm wrong, I'll see you all in hell. And (b) I think you're really cute, if that helps.

Oh, and for the record, I don't think I ever came out and told you I thought your religion was stupid. It's just not my style to do that, unprovoked.

Mandy
03-10-2007, 02:42 AM
PD, it's honestly not possible for anyone not to like you.

Banana Breakfast
03-10-2007, 02:58 AM
No, I think I even used the words "I don't like you."

Given: limited exposure.

Mandy
03-10-2007, 03:01 AM
Oh.


:(

Banana Breakfast
03-10-2007, 03:11 AM
I certainly have no illwill. I don't even remember for sure what we were fighting about. I think it was whether or not I was Jewish.

Digital_Ice
03-10-2007, 04:10 AM
If I'm wrong, I'll see you all in hell.

just to be a pedant... i'd like to point out, if you are infact wrong, and hers is the one true religion... surely she'd go to heaven?

Banana Breakfast
03-10-2007, 06:33 AM
Even if there is a God, there are still like 10,000 religions. So there only like a 1:10,000 shot, assuming there's a God, that religious people aren't just pissing him off more than I am.

Plus, seemingly, in most religions, belief isn't enough. Most people are still going to hell. I'll save you a seat at the cool kids' table, though.

Hazzle
03-10-2007, 11:37 AM
Even if there is a God, there are still like 10,000 religions. So there only like a 1:10,000 shot, assuming there's a God, that religious people aren't just pissing him off more than I am.

Plus, seemingly, in most religions, belief isn't enough. Most people are still going to hell. I'll save you a seat at the cool kids' table, though.

It's like someone took the thoughts right out of my head and put them onto a post but put BB's name on them. BB's gone from being liked to being loved...next thing you know I'll be giving him the sort of bum-loving that's so far been reserved for Ice. You may want to invest in some good vaseline.

PD: Just to be a pedant (heh, when aren't I?) it's chronic insomniac but I agree with you, I don't give a rat's who doesn't like me because the list's just too long. Sometimes I swear the only people who DO like me are those related to me and they really have no choice in the matter. I'm amazed there is someone in the world who doesn't like you, though, because like Mandy I swore that was impossible. But it seems we were wrong. Hey, at least he said you were cute ;). That's never a bad thing.

I propose that dislikes/rivalries etc formed on NP.com be buried on KKW. It's a new beginning, treat it as such, who knows, the two of you may even get along in a new environment. Or not.

Mandy
03-10-2007, 01:54 PM
Jesus, Haz. Why don't you give him a gaping hole already? (Assuming he doesn't already have one.)

hasselbrad
03-10-2007, 02:04 PM
I know...instead of KKW it could be BBW. Oh, wait...eww.

Hazzle
03-10-2007, 03:17 PM
Jesus, Haz. Why don't you give him a gaping hole already? (Assuming he doesn't already have one.)

I think he may be out of my league. I'll eat ice-cream and cry about it instead.

(As it happens I actually did agree with the point about religion, it's one I've made myself before).

Porcelain_Doll
03-10-2007, 10:02 PM
hm, do I really come off as that nice over the internet? Weird.

If I had logged in earlier I could've answered, but I was busy doing important things I can't remember. First of all, Judaism doesn't believe in Hell. But I'm not sure where I stand on all the "Is there a God?" shit so let's just say I'll wander in limbo. If there is a Hell I'll probably go there too so we'll continue this argument in the sauna, agreed? :p
Oh, whatever, everyone's going to Hell according to most religions, so who gives a shit. I'll be like you, Haz, and convert to Jedi. At least Ewan McGregor's there.

Hazzle
04-10-2007, 12:08 PM
Oh, whatever, everyone's going to Hell according to most religions, so who gives a shit. I'll be like you, Haz, and convert to Jedi. At least Ewan McGregor's there.

Yeah, we're all going to Hell, at least I get to go to a Hell in a galaxy far far away.

Porcelain_Doll
04-10-2007, 06:28 PM
Yeah, we're all going to Hell, at least I get to go to a Hell in a galaxy far far away.
...with Ewan McGregor. Oh, no, he was a good boy, wasn't he? shoot.
Meh, I'll settle for Hayden Christensen. Annoying as he was in the SW prequels, he wasn't half bad in "Shattered Glass". And I love geeks, so he earned a special place in my geeky heart with those glasses.

Hazzle
05-10-2007, 12:09 PM
I was thinking more David Prowse and James Earl Jones but I'm sure Hayden will be there too.

hasselbrad
05-10-2007, 01:19 PM
I was thinking more David Prowse and James Earl Jones but I'm sure Hayden will be there too.

God bless you.