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View Full Version : A Bit of Advice....


kingdumbass
29-09-2007, 08:53 AM
Don't ever try to invent a new recipe, especially for something that involves a lot of ingredients, while drunk....
Earlier tonight, my friend and I (under the influence, of course) got it into our heads to turn corned beef hash into a nacho dip. Long story short, we ended up dumping ridiculous amounts of Louisiana hot sauce, Cheese Whiz, Frank's Hot Sauce, Cajun seasoning, hot peppers, pepperonis, onion salt, chilli peppers, sliced hot dogs, black-eyed peas, and beer into a cheap can of the afore-mentioned base ingredient. We ate it all with tortilla chips, and an hour later, sweating and with our stomachs bloated like a pregnant woman's, we both engaged in personal protein spills of monumental proportions.

Anyone else ever done something like that? No? Well, keep it that way, and stay out of the kitchen when you've been drinking.

Banana Breakfast
29-09-2007, 11:33 AM
Actually, I cook pretty much exclusively plastered. Over the years, my foster brother and I have invented the spaghetti sandwich (this involves pretty much the whole deli draw, plus pizza bagels, in addition to the noodles), pizza roll soup, the pie pie, and most dangerously, a Mexican preparation technique I like to call the fajita bazooka (cooking with thermite is pretty much a way to be sure you're not seeing your security deposit, ever again.)

Jacoby
29-09-2007, 10:10 PM
When I was at school my roommate and I george formaned two burgers from meat he had in the freezer. This was dangerous because I can hardly remember anything of it, and usually when I'm hammered I'm not concerned with salmonella. But it didn't matter because shortly after the devouring of burgers and the removal of my Quail Man costume (halloween) I vomited a good amount.


We woke up the next morning and he said "I fucking hate you for telling me to cook up the burgers last night." He's a wrestler and he had to lose twenty pounds in two weeks. And the only thing I said was, "we had burgers?"

Hazzle
29-09-2007, 11:23 PM
Heh Jake. The puking didn't help him lose weight or didn't he actually puke?

kingdumbass
30-09-2007, 01:11 AM
I took a crap so big this morning that the toilet actually couldn't handle it....
Since I've already posted enough disgusting shit in this thread, I won't tell you what I had to do to get the toilet working again...but it was pretty damn nasty.

Mandy
30-09-2007, 01:21 AM
Wtfffffffffgrosssssssss.

*Covers eyes with hands and shakes head*

Banana Breakfast
30-09-2007, 03:42 AM
I took a crap so big this morning that the toilet actually couldn't handle it....
Since I've already posted enough disgusting shit in this thread, I won't tell you what I had to do to get the toilet working again...but it was pretty damn nasty.

In college, my friends and I used to have elaborate, ironic drinking themes, on the weekends. One of the most common ones was "Racist," where we'd bring lawn chairs to a field, and swill PBR while saying the most bigoted things that came to mind.

On one of these occasions, because it takes so much PBR so get tilt, I drank so much that I filled 9 cans with piss on the way home (leading to the name, "Cyril 9 Cans," which I've always liked).

Anyway, since that night, it's been my dream to piss so much in one trip that the pressure on the flap out-weighs the resistance, and the toilet flushes itself.

Porcelain_Doll
02-10-2007, 01:06 AM
Wtfffffffffgrosssssssss.

*Covers eyes with hands and shakes head*

hahaaaa

I feel like I'm listening to one of my classmates' stories.

I love having to seat where I'm surrounded by my guy-friends. You get to hear about their funniest screw ups, plus some really good insight into the teenage male mind.
Usually they forget I'm sitting there so they don't bother on "censoring" certain subjects: I found myself listening to stories about musical condoms last time.

Jacoby
02-10-2007, 02:36 AM
Heh Jake. The puking didn't help him lose weight or didn't he actually puke?

He never puked during our drinking endeavors. I puked maybe four or five times in the semester. He did piss his bed two times, though, after drinking. I think it's because he was so drunk he just lost control, but he claims it's because he was too lazy to get up so he'd just go in bed.

hahaaaa

I feel like I'm listening to one of my classmates' stories.

I love having to seat where I'm surrounded by my guy-friends. You get to hear about their funniest screw ups, plus some really good insight into the teenage male mind.
Usually they forget I'm sitting there so they don't bother on "censoring" certain subjects: I found myself listening to stories about musical condoms last time.

Musical condoms? Is it like a variation o musical chairs, or is there actually a chip in the condom that plays music? Like those Hallmark greeting cards.

And if it's the latter I would like a Barry White singing condom.

Liam
02-10-2007, 06:21 AM
I have heard of condoms that play a tune during sex - apparently you get a different ring tone depending on position (quite how it monitors this, I dont know) and the pace of the tune varies depending on your pace. I'd like the MacGyver theme song.

I hope its not a game of musical chairs edited to somehow fit condoms in. Thats terribly disturbing.