View Full Version : Quote Of The Day

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31-05-2007, 06:14 AM
Yep, another brainchild of the random insomniac that is teh Ice.

Simple premise. Share an insightful, funny, monivational crude or just downright random quote. easy huh?

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat
it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they
should give you two weeks' notice. There should beseverance pay, and
before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger

31-05-2007, 06:25 AM
for me it is a vocation. full time job is only good for an average of 8-12 hours per day. beyaond eight there are extra pay.

relationship is 24/7 and need not to be compensated and has no retirement. i am no prostitute to ask for payment for my affection...,etc.

31-05-2007, 06:34 AM
i think you missed the point of the thread.

31-05-2007, 06:51 AM
Hahaha I've been laughing my ass off around here a lot lately. I love n00bs!

Here's a classic:

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

31-05-2007, 09:04 AM
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

31-05-2007, 10:13 AM
From the beautiful Jane Austen:

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them.

31-05-2007, 12:50 PM
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

Lenny Bruce

31-05-2007, 02:44 PM
One of my all-time favorites :
(WW II talk)
"The Ruhr will not be subjected to a single bomb. If an enemy bomber reaches the Ruhr, my name is not Hermann Göring: you can call me Meier!"

(Meier being one of the most used family names in Germany).

31-05-2007, 05:59 PM
"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. "

I heart Voltaire!

31-05-2007, 08:41 PM
a contradictory version of opinion.

"Better to stay quiet and let people think you are stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

01-06-2007, 12:25 AM
The only safe ship in a storm is leadership.


01-06-2007, 12:29 AM
"A wise monkey never monkeys with another monkeys, monkey".


01-06-2007, 07:41 AM
- Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent
- Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm

01-06-2007, 01:48 PM
Light travells faster than sound that is why people appear bright before they speak.

I am kind of like seven eleven not always doing buisness but I am always open.

01-06-2007, 02:07 PM
It's short and not everyone can understand it or like it but for me it's of great and particular importance.

Deserve the victory.
(Terry Goodkind)

04-06-2007, 06:30 PM
The good die young -- because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good.

04-06-2007, 06:36 PM
Was always partial to:

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today/tomorrow (opinion is divided over the EXACT quote).

It's incredibly ironic that it was said by James Dean who died young.

04-06-2007, 06:44 PM
"May the wind always be at your back, and the sun always upon your face, and may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars."
İGeorge Jung(Johnny Depp), "Blow" 2001.

04-06-2007, 09:37 PM
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown

04-06-2007, 10:35 PM
Hmm... okay...

"The one who knows that he doesn't know anything, knows more than the one who doesn't know that he doesn't know anything."

"If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?"

04-06-2007, 11:16 PM
A few favorites from Woody Allen:

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."

"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."

"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."

04-06-2007, 11:20 PM
(1) Things will get worse before they get better.
(2) Who said things would get better?

04-06-2007, 11:23 PM
Nice quotes Jake. I love Woody Allen. My personal favourite has to be:

"I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own"

04-06-2007, 11:37 PM
"There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction."

"Every morning when I awake, the greatests of joys is mine: that of being Salvador Dali."

Salvador Dalí.

05-06-2007, 12:14 AM
Pair up in groups of three and line up in a circle.

-Some American Football Coach

05-06-2007, 01:07 PM
Creation is a drug I can't do without.

Cecil B. DeMille

05-06-2007, 06:07 PM
"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."

Hilarious !! :icon_lol:

I would like to add one by Wagner :
"I have long been convinced that my artistic ideal stands or falls with Germany. Only the Germany that we love and desire can help us achieve that ideal."

From another character "attracted" to Poland :
"Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union".
"The Pope? How many divisions has he got?"
- Stalin

06-06-2007, 01:25 AM
An oldie but a goodie:

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

06-06-2007, 01:37 AM
Thats a good one.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

06-06-2007, 01:24 PM
Here's to five miserable months on the wagon and the irreparable harm that it's caused me.

Stanley Kubrick

06-06-2007, 01:49 PM
(regarding field sobriety tests to catch drunk drivers) Then comes the kicker, say the alphabet, backwards. Well shoot, ya got me. I'm not drunk but I'm obviously too stupid to be driving, goddammit... I'm so used to that song, it's like you've been practicing your whole life to fail the drunk test. zy,zy, fuck it abcdefg...

-- Bill Hicks

07-06-2007, 05:06 AM
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Steven Wright
Everybody has to believe in something.....I believe I'll have another drink.
W.C. Fields
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Ben Franklin

07-06-2007, 06:18 AM
"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." -- James Davis Nicoll

07-06-2007, 06:54 AM
Leonies one by Jane Austin is so right. If you get what i mean and im not just saying that because shes my favoirite auther.

07-06-2007, 07:49 AM
Steven Fry -- "If someone is from France, they are French, if someone is from Germany, they are German, but whats the right word for someone from the USA"
Johnny Vaughan -- "Obese!"

07-06-2007, 08:09 AM
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

So true. I do it all the time-and if the quotes are from obscure things people assume you made it up.

07-06-2007, 09:32 AM
But i am poor, and only dreams I have,

thread slowly, for you thread on my dreams. --anonymous--

07-06-2007, 12:49 PM
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

Andrew Jackson

08-06-2007, 02:01 AM
I think that when you invite people to your home, you invite them to yourself. - Oprah Winfrey

Do you think she has a writer specifically for coming out with this pretentious crap? Don't get me wrong, Oprah is God but she has some godawful quotes.

08-06-2007, 08:08 AM
But i am poor, and only dreams I have,

thread slowly, for you thread on my dreams. --anonymous--

This is William Butler Yeats... The poem is 'He wishes for the Cloths of Heaven' and the part goes like this:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
- W. B. Yeats

08-06-2007, 10:07 AM
Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence.
William Blake

Better beans and bacon in peace
than cakes and ale in fear.

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
Aesop's Fables

08-06-2007, 10:19 AM
Ever notice that most women against abortion, are women you really don't want to have sex with in the first place.

George Carlin

bede bede bede thats all folks

Porky Pig

08-06-2007, 10:58 AM
Why do we do quotes.

08-06-2007, 11:00 AM
Because we do. Please don't spam, x.keirafan.x. :)

08-06-2007, 01:00 PM
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

Bill Hicks

10-06-2007, 10:57 PM
Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.
- The Architect, Matrix Reloaded

11-06-2007, 01:52 PM
It is difficult to make our material condition better by the best law, but it is easy enough to ruin it by bad laws.

Theodore Roosevelt

11-06-2007, 03:18 PM
I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.

Dorothy Parker

11-06-2007, 06:54 PM
Winter is not like Summer. - the president of my country

11-06-2007, 07:09 PM
Cate Blanchett on Botox:

"I look at people sort of entombing themselves and all you see is their little pin holes of terror... and you think, just live your life, death is not going to be any easier just because your face can't move."

12-06-2007, 01:22 AM
"We are never so defenceless against suffering as when we love."

"He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore."

Sigmund Freud.

12-06-2007, 01:34 AM
"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."

-- Charlie Brown (Charles M. Schulz)

12-06-2007, 01:41 AM
"If something really belongs to you, you cannot lose it even if you throw it away."

"Knowing is not enough; We must Apply. Willing is not enough; We must Do"


12-06-2007, 01:48 AM
"Dear IRS, Please remove me from your mailing list."
-- Snoopy (Charles M. Schulz)

12-06-2007, 02:20 PM
Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.

Immanuel Kant

13-06-2007, 02:01 PM
Sorry for the double post, but it's a different day, so...:icon_nana

Tampa's crazy... The ladies in Tampa come in all flavors. I felt like I was at Dairy Queen.

Luther Campbell

14-06-2007, 02:03 AM
heh, you're allowed to double post if its been a while since your last post.

its the people who post 20 posts a few seconds apart that piss us off

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard

14-06-2007, 02:53 AM
I only really know awesome song quotes.

If I drink myself to death at least I know I've had a good time - The Rapture, Sister saviour

14-06-2007, 01:14 PM
No people in history have ever survived who thought they could protect their freedom by making themselves inoffensive to their enemies.

Dean Acheson

14-06-2007, 01:44 PM
"Failure is always an option"
-- Adam Savage

14-06-2007, 08:33 PM
Yay, Adam Savage. How about another one from him? Everyone probably knows this one though.
"I reject your reality and substitue my own."

14-06-2007, 08:33 PM
"It's true Heaven forbids some pleasures, but a compromise can usually be found."


15-06-2007, 12:42 AM
Yay, Adam Savage. How about another one from him? Everyone probably knows this one though.
"I reject your reality and substitue my own."

heh, thats gotta be one of the best. It's my current MSN screenname.

Couple more Mythbuster ones for you

80 lbs. of gunpowder, 22 idiots, 1 crash-test dummy... priceless.
-- Adam Savage

I'm not sure what it's gonna do, but it looks cool.
-- Jamie Hyneman

17-06-2007, 05:11 AM
"Aim towards the Enemy."
-- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

17-06-2007, 05:20 AM
"My knob tastes funny."

-Ralph Wiggum

17-06-2007, 09:06 AM
"I'm sure your knobs taste fine"


17-06-2007, 09:48 AM
"Insanity is the only sane reaction to an insane situation"
-- Thomas Szas

17-06-2007, 11:10 AM
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

17-06-2007, 12:29 PM
"You Should Never Let The Sun Set On Tomorrow, Before The Sun Rises Today"
-- Nine Days

17-06-2007, 02:48 PM
Ice has 3 quotes of the day....and counting! :p

17-06-2007, 08:31 PM
I'm allowed to. I rule.

18-06-2007, 01:19 PM
"A wise man once said the human spirit can overcome any obstacle... That man had obviously never run a triathlon."
-- John Dorian (Scrubs)

21-06-2007, 05:36 PM
"You look like you've been drawn by children"
-- Phil Jupitas

25-06-2007, 04:19 PM
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm"
-- Unknown

This thread is begining to look awfully one sided. lol.

25-06-2007, 06:36 PM
My boyfriend thinks I lost my true calling to be a librarian.

Paulina Porizkova

26-06-2007, 07:38 AM
"When Paris Hilton gets released it'll be like when Nelson Mandella got freed from prison"

- Some twat from my work

26-06-2007, 12:57 PM
"When Paris Hilton gets released it'll be like when Nelson Mandella got freed from prison"

- Some twat from my work

Please, for the love of the Digital Ice (God and Jesus rolled into one), neuter/spay that moron before they contaminate the gene pool with their ultra high test, stupid sperm/egg.


26-06-2007, 09:43 PM
answer is...God's a prick

Bill Maher

27-06-2007, 08:55 PM
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.


28-06-2007, 02:25 PM
I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine the same things that lunatics imagine when awake.

Rene Descartes

28-06-2007, 02:52 PM
"If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong."
-- Mo Udall

29-06-2007, 01:46 PM
I tend to be attracted to characters who are up against a wall with very few alternatives. And the film then becomes an examination of how they cope with very few options. And that's, I guess, what interests me in terms of human behavior.

William Friedkin

30-06-2007, 05:36 PM
If We don't understand power of words,we can't understand power of people.

03-07-2007, 10:28 AM
We satifsy our endless needs and
justify our bloody deeds,
in the name of destiny and in the name
of God

And you can see them there,
On Sunday morning
Stand up and sing about
What it's like up there
They call it paradise
I don't know why
You call someplace paradise,
kiss it goodbye

The Eagles - The Last Resort

14-07-2007, 03:14 AM
"Romance is Dead, Man had it killed, and made his wife clean up the mess"
-- Jimmy Carr

14-07-2007, 07:17 AM
Ran, you're a filthy exhibitionist. But as long as you don't piss me off, you'll remain such. :p

The Fabulous PeeDee
Thank you :icon_lol:

22-07-2007, 11:30 AM
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
-- Gilbert Chesterton

Keira lover
26-07-2007, 01:42 AM
May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I sure as hell won't.
Gen. George S. Patton, 3rd Army, commander.

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.
The Rt. Hon. Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, Prime Minister of the UK

THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated.
The American Crisis (19 December 1776)Thomas Paine
Man can live on soda alone

26-07-2007, 12:43 PM
"If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them."
-- Unknown

27-07-2007, 11:48 PM
"i'm 28 and Soliciting"
-- A random drunk 23yr old Solictor we were chatting to in the pub

27-07-2007, 11:51 PM
So were they lying about being 28?

27-07-2007, 11:53 PM
heh. they were hammered. my mate said they looked 28, they got offended, but later on claimed to be 28 cause they obviously forgot how old they were. and they said they were soliciting (ie, they were a prostitute) when they were actually a solictor (ie legal person) - i know you probably worked out the second bit but im saving someone else the trouble of asking.

28-07-2007, 08:23 AM
"A man doesn't know what true happiness is until he's married and then it's too late."

09-08-2007, 11:05 AM
"I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it."

-Jean Kerr, playwright and author.

Ha thats actually today's quote from the "Believing In Ourselves" calendar my exes mum gave me for Christmas.

09-08-2007, 06:57 PM
A workmate of one of my workmates at a previous job to a German customer:

"Der Führer ist unterwegs. ...Oh shit, shit, Fahrer, I meant Fahrer!"

(She meant to say the driver was on his way.)

17-08-2007, 12:52 AM
"Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand."

07-09-2007, 10:58 PM
"If god had intended us not to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter."

-- George Carlin

07-09-2007, 10:59 PM
"If god had intended us not to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter."

-- George Carlin

LMAO, I love Carlin

10-09-2007, 08:12 AM
"Video games don't affect children. If PacMan had affected us as kids then we'd all be running around in dark rooms, gobbling up magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

-- A Nintendo Executive

10-09-2007, 01:08 PM
"Video games don't affect children. If PacMan had affected us as kids then we'd all be running around in dark rooms, gobbling up magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

-- A Nintendo Executive

Actually...that's a comedian's line, though I can't remember who at the moment.
Ironic, nonetheless.