PDA

View Full Version : What the...


hasselbrad
26-03-2007, 02:25 PM
...fuck?!?!
We have a happiness thread.
We have an un-happiness thread.
I got to thinking that it's high time we have a "What the fuck?!?!" thread.
A thread dedicated to things in your life that make you scratch your head and say "what the fuck?!?!"

I'll start...there's this woman at work, who we'll call Linda.
She is going to school part time to study computers, specifically database management. One would think that when her printer didn't print an invoice as it should, that she'd be 'leet' enough to go in and figure out the problem.
She's not. Instead, me, who knows fuck-all about computers, has to go out and fix the problem. Since we play musical printers around here, it was just printing to the wrong port. And this isn't some isolated incident. We go through this type of thing on a regular basis. Every time her printer gets a little of the rails, she acts like it's the end of the world and starts talking about the HP printers where she used to work not giving her any problems. And then I go to her desk, point and click a few times, and like some sort of ancient Druid magic, paper...with printing on it...appears from the innards of her printer.

Hazzle
26-03-2007, 02:42 PM
I think you should shoot her. In the face.

hasselbrad
26-03-2007, 03:09 PM
I think you should shoot her. In the face.
I must be going soft.
I had not considered that option.

keir
26-03-2007, 05:23 PM
I must be going soft.
I had not considered that option.

absolutely...

Porcelain_Doll
26-03-2007, 06:11 PM
Today I was on the bus and suddenly spotted a pacifier dangling from the bus' roof.
My first thought was....(suspense)....wtf?!?!

michael22
27-03-2007, 12:31 AM
good idea, usually I am up to my ass in thinking wtf about certain things. But for some reason I have not thought that, what the fuck.

Though thishttp://gear.ign.com/articles/772/772295p1.html

Norseman
27-03-2007, 01:11 AM
Was surfing porn the other day, got over this amazingly cute girl. I could have died for her, and there she is ...doing porn..I was like "what the fuck!?!"

hasselbrad
27-03-2007, 04:39 PM
Was surfing porn the other day, got over this amazingly cute girl. I could have died for her, and there she is ...doing porn..I was like "what the fuck!?!"

And you didn't provide a link? What The Fuck?









Actually...porn links are forbidden, though they are perfectly acceptable in private messages.

Hazzle
27-03-2007, 08:42 PM
though they are perfectly acceptable in private messages.

Heh. Thus speaks KKW's resident dirty old man.

Your ex is doing porno? How is that a bad thing exactly?

hasselbrad
28-03-2007, 01:10 PM
Heh. Thus speaks KKW's resident dirty old man.

Your ex is doing porno? How is that a bad thing exactly?

:icon_err:
Yeah...actually...this girl I went out with had really big breasts. Strange, since I usually like a small C at most. Anyway, some months later, a friend from another time-waster website posted porn links, one of which happened to be a site devoted to females with distended breasts, and there she was, in all her glory, testing her gag reflex in the top left corner of the thumbnails.

Certainly a "what the fuck" moment.

Norseman
28-03-2007, 09:08 PM
And you didn't provide a link? What The Fuck?









Actually...porn links are forbidden, though they are perfectly acceptable in private messages.And share her with all of you, so you can undress her with your eyes? ...Oh, wait...

Btw: What the fuck! (just to be on topic :))

Porcelain_Doll
28-03-2007, 09:30 PM
I used to believe all men weren't pervs. What the fuck was I thinking?!?!:icon_eek:

hasselbrad
28-03-2007, 09:34 PM
I used to believe all men weren't pervs. What the fuck was I thinking?!?!:icon_eek:

Yeah...that's just crazy.

Porcelain_Doll
28-03-2007, 09:42 PM
Kilt boy is a fan of Pinky and the Brain. Wtf?!?!!? :p

Norseman
28-03-2007, 09:58 PM
Pervs? For surfing some porn? Nah. Just another man :)

hasselbrad
29-03-2007, 01:27 PM
I used to believe all men weren't pervs. What the fuck was I thinking?!?!:icon_eek:

Oh...and young women who post about posting in their undies cannot pass judgement on men for being pervs.
That's called entrapment, according to Sec. 117.020.336 (6942) of the Universal Man Law.

Porcelain_Doll
29-03-2007, 05:48 PM
Oh...and young women who post about posting in their undies cannot pass judgement on men for being pervs.
That's called entrapment, according to Sec. 117.020.336 (6942) of the Universal Man Law.

:icon_nana (that's a kick-ass icon, heehee)

Hazzle
29-03-2007, 10:38 PM
Yes, but she's right Brad. We are all pervs. However women couldn't function if we weren't. Women kill for a compliments and any compliment a man pays a woman, by its very nature, has pervy undertones.

"That top brings out your eyes" means "I can see your nipples through it"

"Those jeans look great on you" means "Is that your arse or did it come with them?"

"Is that a new skirt?" means "I keep forgetting how great your legs are".

"That's a nice outfit." means "It looks great on you but it would look even better on the bedroom floor".

"You look nice today" means "I'm horny and I want sex."

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's an evolutionary instinct on our part.

Ranman
29-03-2007, 10:49 PM
Yes, but she's right Brad. We are all pervs. However women couldn't function if we weren't. Women kill for a compliments and any compliment a man pays a woman, by its very nature, has pervy undertones.

"That top brings out your eyes" means "I can see your nipples through it"

"Those jeans look great on you" means "Is that your arse or did it come with them?"

"Is that a new skirt?" means "I keep forgetting how great your legs are".

"That's a nice outfit." means "It looks great on you but it would look even better on the bedroom floor".

"You look nice today" means "I'm horny and I want sex."

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's an evolutionary instinct on our part.

That sums it up
nicely put

hasselbrad
03-04-2007, 03:16 AM
My daughter informed me today that her stepfather has basically forbidden her (and I'm guessing her 13 month old little sister and the yet to be born little brother) from watching animated films.
As in Disney films, Pixar films and Dreamworks films. No Cinderella, Cars or Shrek. No Toy Story. No Finding Nemo.
I feel like I'm going to have to smuggle DVDs into their house through Taylor so these kids won't grow up watching reruns of The Apprentice.
Also, she revealed that after going to the Eiffel Tower when they visited Paris, they went back to the hotel and watched The Fast and the Furious - Tokyo Drift. Awesome! Halfway around the world in one of the greatest cities on Earth, and you spend the night watching that shit?
No wonder people think Americans are such fucking retards.
I hope the desk clerk gave them a sarcastic (thereby completely flying over their heads) "did you enjoy zee in woom movie?" when they checked out.
Twats.

Ranman
03-04-2007, 09:47 AM
What a jerk, he's an idiot
although Lilo and Stitchdord does
lead to acid trips

michael22
31-05-2007, 03:25 AM
A movie I watched today........maneater. It is about a tiger in the apalachians fought by Gary Busee.

jessmutch
31-05-2007, 11:33 AM
i can not believe they are band from watching disney movies jesus, just buy them portable dvd players and tell this step-father that they can watch want they fucking well want as it is your dvd players they re watching them on, plus it is your daughter whereas he is only a step-father, by blood you should have the highest authority. Dont let that prick push your kids around.
I could have never lived with out disney films. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE WORLD COMING TO.

I feel better after that little rant. Now for another one:
WHY THE FUCK do people still finding it amusing to take the shit out of me for having red hair. For fuck sake you think that they would realise i knew what the colour of my hair was every time they came out with "Ginger". Jesus christ come up with something new. I for one lke the colour of my hair, why are people so simple minded that they can not accept someone who is different. (and takes a deep breathe)

hasselbrad
31-05-2007, 01:31 PM
i can not believe they are band from watching disney movies jesus, just buy them portable dvd players and tell this step-father that they can watch want they fucking well want as it is your dvd players they re watching them on, plus it is your daughter whereas he is only a step-father, by blood you should have the highest authority. Dont let that prick push your kids around.
I could have never lived with out disney films. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE WORLD COMING TO.

Thank you for your support.
Actually, I think my daughter was exaggerating her claims a bit. Little shit.

candy_apple
01-06-2007, 04:21 PM
i can not believe they are band from watching disney movies jesus, just buy them portable dvd players and tell this step-father that they can watch want they fucking well want as it is your dvd players they re watching them on, plus it is your daughter whereas he is only a step-father, by blood you should have the highest authority. Dont let that prick push your kids around.
I could have never lived with out disney films. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE WORLD COMING TO.

I feel better after that little rant. Now for another one:
WHY THE FUCK do people still finding it amusing to take the shit out of me for having red hair. For fuck sake you think that they would realise i knew what the colour of my hair was every time they came out with "Ginger". Jesus christ come up with something new. I for one lke the colour of my hair, why are people so simple minded that they can not accept someone who is different. (and takes a deep breathe)

Yeah I don't get that "ginger" thang either, what gives, it started a couple yrs ago an there still at it and usual it is members of th echavtastic crowd, and I don't know what they're thinking cos it really isn't a diss yh know, lol.

hasselbrad
08-06-2007, 07:19 PM
...in the grill of a tractor trailer, traveling four miles at speeds up to 50 MPH.
WHAT THE FUCK?!?! (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nation/4872241.html)

hasselbrad
18-08-2007, 02:59 AM
Wow. That's a whole bunch of stupid. (http://www.kgw.com/sharedcontent/APStories/stories/D8R2FLE02.html)

Leonie
18-08-2007, 08:03 AM
This one is for KeiraLover and the great medical care in his country: http://news.aol.com/story/_a/man-allegedly-throws-wife-from-balcony/20070816164409990002

Ranman
19-08-2007, 12:02 AM
He'll probably blame Hillary Clinton for that Leonie

Porcelain_Doll
19-08-2007, 01:50 AM
oh my god! that's horrible. What type of monster would do such a thing?!

*Darth Vader breathing*

Sorry...just watched Episode IV, blame my little brother.

Leonie
19-08-2007, 07:43 AM
I don't think he's a monster per se. He just didn't now what to do anymore, saw no other way out. It sounds like he loved his wife, and like he is fully cooperative with the police. It's just a sad, sad day for the land of hope and dreams when someone sees no other way out than to kill his wife.

hasselbrad
20-08-2007, 01:55 PM
Thieves are stealing oven doors.
Really.
They put them in plasma television boxes and sell them to unsuspecting idiots. (http://cbs2.com/watercooler/watercooler_story_228104606.html)
If you are willing to buy a plasma television off some guy on the street for $300, you deserve to get home and find an oven door in the box. And then, you deserve to get arrested by police for receiving stolen property...which you have, since the oven door is stolen.

hasselbrad
30-08-2007, 01:05 PM
Leona Helmsley passed away recently. For those of you who don't know who she is, she is the hotel magnate who, when on trial for tax evasion, uttered the phrase "only little people pay taxes". She was dubbed "the queen of mean" for her reported abuse of hotel workers.
Well, the details of her will have been made public, and two of her grandchildren were specifically left out of the will...by name.
However, her dog has been left $12,000,000 (http://www.kansascity.com/105/story/253243.html).
That'll buy a lot of kibble.

Porcelain_Doll
30-08-2007, 08:30 PM
How exactly did "The Aristocats" end.....? :p

Digital_Ice
13-09-2007, 01:28 PM
watching the daily show...

jon stewart mouths, yes mouths (ie, no sound could be heard) just lip movement, no talking (got the idea yet?)
well anyway, he mouths "you're fucking kidding me"...

...and the dumbass censor still bleeped it.

what... the... fuck?!?!?!

if you cant lip read, you're not going to hear it... and if you can lip read... what fucking difference does a fucking bleep make??

Mandy
13-09-2007, 03:18 PM
America censors everything to death. Why? They think children (that probably wouldn't watch the show or get its' humour will learn naughty things). That or the religion fanatics in the south will write angry letters.

Ranman
13-09-2007, 04:35 PM
America censors everything to death. Why? They think children (that probably wouldn't watch the show or get its' humour will learn naughty things). That or the religion fanatics in the south will write angry letters.

How dare you speak ill of Brad's people, the fine Christian conservatives of the south. The ones who never cheat on their wives, never visit hookers, never have gay feelings, never get divorced. ( please god let the south rise up again, we'll let them go and be out of this nightmare)

hasselbrad
14-09-2007, 04:45 PM
O.J.'s next book...If I Stole It (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070914/ap_en_ce/simpson_questioned).

hasselbrad
27-09-2007, 07:57 PM
What the fuck? (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070927/ap_en_mo/people_coppola)

hasselbrad
13-11-2007, 02:37 PM
Paris is helping drunk elephants. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/india/story/0,,2210181,00.html?gusrc=rss&feed=networkfront) Seriously.

hasselbrad
03-01-2008, 01:22 PM
Beauty queen...law student...kidnapper/torturer...and a bad hair day, to boot. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22479324/)
8:

kate123
04-01-2008, 02:35 PM
that story about paris hilton raising awareness about drunk elephants is weird,

:|especially as it said 4 wild elephants got drunk and electricuted themselves on beer that had been left out

Katielondon
05-01-2008, 06:02 PM
Kilt boy is a fan of Pinky and the Brain. Wtf?!?!!? :p

who isnt a fan of Pinky and the Brain?:D

kingdumbass
06-01-2008, 03:20 AM
I recently had to interview a bunch of beauty queens....
My God, what a miserable, empty experience.

If only they'd been as interesting as this chick.

hasselbrad
09-01-2008, 09:18 PM
What the fuck would possess someone to do this? (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080109/ap_on_re_us/children_bridge_deaths)
Oh yeah...drugs.
Throw his worthless fucking ass off the bridge.

hasselbrad
01-08-2008, 03:18 PM
Seriously... WTF? (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/08/01/canada.beheading/index.html?eref=rss_topstories)

Joly
01-08-2008, 04:42 PM
That is fucking disgusting brad. 8:
Some fucking people are just fucking fucked up.


If you watch the video interview with the guy describing it, it's kinda funny when he says: ''repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly...'' Erm, yeah.. that's what that word means XD :|

Argh, it's so screwed up. And if there wasn't even a strong motive I honestly can't even comprehend how some humans turn out like that.

.Lizzlo.Chaps.
01-08-2008, 07:46 PM
The other day I was walking from my house to my bf's house, and I felt a few rain drops. I looked up and there were no clouds. I kept walking and the drops kept coming down. It was raining. But there were no clouds. I was like WTF?!

Digital_Ice
02-08-2008, 08:22 AM
Ooh, my dad was a member of the RMS, so I can answer this :p

When rain is produced by the intermixture of different volumes of air the precipitated moisture usually assumes at first the form of small globules of vapor an assemblage of which in the higher regions of the atmosphere constitutes clouds As the process of condensation advances more moisture is precipitated and the globules uniting in rain drops descend to the earth Now it is supposed that at times the humidity of the atmosphere is condensed at once into rain without passing through the intermediate state of cloud and under these circumstances a shower might fall from a cloudless sky.

Elements of Meteorology With Questions for Examinations By John Brocklesby

.Lizzlo.Chaps.
28-08-2008, 06:09 PM
....With Questions for Examinations By John Brocklesby

And what Does that mean?