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michael22
10-09-2006, 08:59 AM
I thought about this thread for quite some time basically a list of things you should never do unless you happen to like darwin.

I will start.
fall asleep at the wheel
follow a bloody trail into the woods
challenge certain cultures to a drinking contest
announce your pessence in a clumsy stupid manner
wank with power tools
put a big button on a bomb
allow your girlfriend to see how messed up you really are
fight the following, shoalin monks, wolverines,kangaroos, soccer mobs, pissed of scotsmen, old ladies with metal poles
and most of all be stupid

edit: do most of the things i have done.

Leonie
10-09-2006, 09:21 AM
Don't:

-let someone cycle over your arm (because breakage occurs)
-have a knack for walking in front of trams (because even bigger breakage might occur)
-fight with girls with long nails (unless they have long ponytails, then you can probably manage)

and, like you, all things I've done

marine
10-09-2006, 11:54 AM
Don't:

-fight with girls with long nails (unless they have long ponytails, then you can probably manage)


:icon_lol:

DanMan
10-09-2006, 04:18 PM
Don't:

-let someone cycle over your arm (because breakage occurs)
-have a knack for walking in front of trams (because even bigger breakage might occur)
-fight with girls with long nails (unless they have long ponytails, then you can probably manage)

and, like you, all things I've done


Ouch Leonie

Mandy
10-09-2006, 04:45 PM
haha I remember when you told me about that!

1. If you ever get a nickname and you don't like it, don't ask for a new one because it will be worse.
2. Don't attempt to sell your parents' household belongings.
3. If you're roasting a marshmallow and it lights on fire do NOT fling it back and forth to put it out.

runangl
10-09-2006, 06:31 PM
wow mandy.

what's the new one?? =D

Leonie
10-09-2006, 10:57 PM
Ouch Leonie

Don't worry, I haven't actually been hit by a tram, hence the "might occur," but I got pretty damn close far too many times (think: step on the middle "safe" bit of the road *woosh* tram behind you, and you had no idea it was coming. Alternatively, being dragged to the side by Liam, because at least someone is paying attention. Heh.).

The rest I have done though.

In addition to the previous list:

-try not to walk into cyclists (not only do you wreck their bike, I can tell you your leg will hurt too)
-really don't walk into the cyclists who are war veterans, as they might snap and go into crazy mode, standing there and shouting and then shouting some more, while you wonder how many years your allowance will be suspended for after your parents find out you wrecked his bike, and how long it will take for the gash in your leg to heal, and Go Leg! because that bike is more owned than your leg is.

And yes, sadly, that's one I can tell you from experience.

acliff
10-09-2006, 11:07 PM
I don't know whether I should contribute to this thread.
I might come across like a retard.

Leonie
10-09-2006, 11:57 PM
You think you can beat my "how to get hurt in incredibly stupid ways" record? Bring it on :icon_bigg

Mandy
11-09-2006, 12:09 AM
wow mandy.

what's the new one?? =D

It's too obscene, even for KKW.

acliff
11-09-2006, 07:22 AM
It's too obscene, even for KKW.

Can we guess?
Cuntbucket?

Edit: I can't leave it at that...

Life lessons:
-Don't buy Titan Quest, Diablo II, Oblivion or any other game which threatens to take over your life.
-When telling your parent that you think they brought you up wrong, use tact, and don't say 'I've turned out good DESPITE everything you've done'
-When running around a house shouting at the top of your voice with a half drunk bottle of red wine in BOTH hands, stop and reevaluate.
-When in a ditch, you're probably not in the best condition to be picked up by your parents, especially when they think you've been to some 'nice' party.
-Don't go fast until you learn how to brake
-However cool it seems, your palm is not a good tool for hammering related tasks.
-Check the garden for clothes pegs before you mow the lawn
-Cello tape is not a good fix for gaping flesh wounds, nor is blue lint from a jumper.
-Don't dance on shelves or ledges
-Brick walls are abrasive
-French bangers are the best
-Oranges and potatoes don't explode too well, but plums and apples are jokes.
-When you get a music bursary, including unlimited free lessons, turn up.
-Flirting with danger is in fact dangerous (but great fun)
-Hugs have a tendancy of solving pretty much anything.
-When using a very sharp kitchen knife, don't be cocky about the fact that you're ambidextrous, you're asking for trouble
-Running up and hugging the bouncers is not a good way of showing you're sober enough to get let in.
-Don't work in a skyscraper in a big city, unless you're fit enough to walk down the stairs. (fire alarms etc)
-Quality is most definitely better than quantity.
-Women are manipulative, yet don't actually know what they want
-The best way to convince others that you're smart is by doing smart things instead of saying smart things.
-When you're young, walking through a rough area with 8 bottles clinking in your backpack is like a homing beacon.
-Emotional blackmail is an extremely powerful tool
-Do not fall for false prophets

Those brush the surface, most of them are from experience.

hasselbrad
11-09-2006, 01:14 PM
-When the car begins fishtailing, do not touch the brake.
-Always give someone swinging a golf club two club lengths of space.
-Glass soda bottles can explode simply from falling over.
-If the stitches feel like they aren't holding, they probably aren't.
-Look for jellyfish before jumping into the canal.
-Move the mower away from a chain link fence before attempting to start it.
...and, some life lessons I learned this weekend at the happiest place on Earth.
-The best time to visit Disney World is the week after Labor Day (first Monday in September) because there are no lines. We walked right on to Space Mountain. Just make sure that they aren't having a Night of Joy Christian music extravaganza, because they close the park at 6:00 PM, but they let them in at 4:00 PM, which really fucked things up. It was like a tsunami of people flooding the park.
-The Rainforest Cafe' is utter shit. We walked right in, but I would have been majorly disappointed if I had've waited an hour and a half to eat pasta that I could've cooked better. Not good at all.

acliff
12-09-2006, 08:34 AM
A new one for ya:

No matter how much plumbing you do, there is always a leak, somewhere.

Liam
12-09-2006, 08:52 AM
A new one for ya:

No matter how much plumbing you do, there is always a leak, somewhere.

You didnt lash out and get a liquid cooling setup for your new PC, did you? :p

acliff
12-09-2006, 09:24 AM
You didnt lash out and get a liquid cooling setup for your new PC, did you? :p

Nah, air cooling does the job just fine. Its a conroe, i gets 1ghz overclocks even if you were fanning it by hand. To be fair though, my current motherboard overclocks like broken watch, it has trouble with more than 10hz.
The motherboard did cost me peanuts though, so when I upgrade to DX10, I shall have a 3ghz core2duo, 2gb 450mhz DDR2 and a nice shiny DX10 card.
Thing is, a liquid cooling setup wouldn't be any quieter than my computer is already. Its whisper quiet as it is.

The plumbing is in reference to my exploding toilet.
And now thats all fixed, the master tap (the one controlling the flow of water into the house) has sprung a small leak. Thats pretty much THE most irritating tap to fix. Its now gone beyond my ability to fix, and a plumber needs to be called.

Liam
12-09-2006, 11:27 AM
I need to either get a new cooler or give my current one a good clean out. Its currently running an X2 4400+ at stock speeds at 35-37 degree idle and up to 52 under full load (40 man WoW raid). Not good enough.

One lesson I would impart is that you shouldn't ride wheelie bins down a hill.

acliff
12-09-2006, 11:38 AM
I need to either get a new cooler or give my current one a good clean out. Its currently running an X2 4400+ at stock speeds at 35-37 degree idle and up to 52 under full load (40 man WoW raid). Not good enough.

One lesson I would impart is that you shouldn't ride wheelie bins down a hill.

Unless you want to have tons of exciting and dangerous fun.
More to the point, don't ride shopping trolleys down a hill into a t junction

My e6300 conroe idles at 32, 41 at full load. Its not overclocked though. (chips have got a lot better, they're not as bad as the xp3200 and the p4 prescotts)

EmotionSickness
12-09-2006, 12:10 PM
Don't trust anyone. Ever.
Don't not read.
Don't use double negatives.

acliff
12-09-2006, 12:40 PM
Don't trust anyone. Ever.
Don't not read.
Don't use double negatives.

Thats a bleak outlook.

I mean, don't you not know that double negatives aren't a way of life!
*head spins*

cmrobin21
14-09-2006, 03:07 AM
mess with a sting-ray.

Leonie
14-09-2006, 07:17 AM
ha ha. ha.

acliff
14-09-2006, 09:07 AM
mess with a sting-ray.

Lesson no 23601:
No matter how hard you may try, some people will not find you funny.

Was the above from personal experience hmm?

cmrobin21
15-09-2006, 11:26 PM
no personal experience. just the death of steve irwin negatively infringing on my love for aquatic life.

Arbery
16-09-2006, 03:08 PM
picking up your mates very old, un-used guitar that has very rusty strings and bend the string up really far...it actually sliced the skin underneath my nails...and it bloody hurt!

cmrobin21
20-09-2006, 10:00 PM
don't hand in the paperwork for your annual review a day after your viewer asked for it :icon_err: