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Guy Who Likes Stuff
11-06-2006, 11:43 PM
Ok, i just wrote this LONG thing and my computer erased it, so now you're going to get the shortest possible version.

1. there will be some sexual content, leave now if you don't want to read this
2. this will probably be long (even though i'm condensing)
3. i know many of you will try to think of funny replies to this. i could care less, but just make sure it's funny, otherwise you look like an idiot.

started seeing this girl a few weeks ago, and we had sex for the first time last night. first, i should explain i haven't had sex in a while. not going to tell you how long it's been, let's just say too long.

anyway, i finished in like 2-3 minutes. we were able to do it a few more times, but the same result. i haven't had that much sex in my life to begin with, so i don't know HOW abnormal this is. i'm assuming it's not good, i just don't know HOW not good. in the past, i've used a condom, but she was cool w/ going au-naturale (skip the lecture as to why i shouldn't have done this, and yes i realize wearing one would numb the sensation a bit, but condoms just don't work for me... TOO insensitive, the exact opposite of what i'm talking about here).

i'm ALLL about doing whatever it takes to get a girl off (fingers, tongue, etc.)... my question is this. can this compensate for being so quick in bed? be honest. i'd love to hear from any ladies on this. what is the average time that YOU LADIES experience? (guys, don't even say how long it takes you b/c i know you're more likely to lie about it... i know my girls will tell me the truth)

ok, i tried to shorten this up, but it was still long. thanks for hanging in there if you're still reading.

barrington
12-06-2006, 01:05 AM
From personal experience and research data freely available around you I can confirm that it will take most women between 25 and 40 minutes to become sufficiently aroused to consider orgasm a possibility. I would also argue that women don't want 'compensation', they want good sex for as long as is necessary to generate the result they require. To be brutally honest, if you can't manage this then it's your problem and no-one else's. Either desensitive yourself by having sex more frequently, see a therapist or purchase some benzocaine products.

Mandy
12-06-2006, 01:27 AM
If you're actually a decent fuck it shouldn't take more than 5-10 minutes. But then again, not all women are the same. Some are more sensitive than others, and sensitive in different areas than others. Some prefer oral sex more than intercourse and some don't. Just kind of depends on who you're humpin.'

I don't know what to say about your stamina problem other than just have more sex.

ryan
12-06-2006, 03:32 AM
endurance comes with experience.
not only will you not get so excited about the idea of sex (thus delaying the orgasm), but you'll slowly learn to control your member and not let it control you.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 07:48 AM
From personal experience and research data freely available around you I can confirm that it will take most women between 25 and 40 minutes to become sufficiently aroused to consider orgasm a possibility. I would also argue that women don't want 'compensation', they want good sex for as long as is necessary to generate the result they require. To be brutally honest, if you can't manage this then it's your problem and no-one else's. Either desensitive yourself by having sex more frequently, see a therapist or purchase some benzocaine products.

Heh. I was going to post a reply but fuck that, Baz already owns the thread with that one...

devine kk
12-06-2006, 07:51 AM
I tend to find that if you do it more than once in a night then the length of time it takes gets longer. That is of course unless you wait like an hour before having another go. Try 5-10 mins gap and it should take longer. If not unlucky chap, you could try thinking of something really boring but obviously still look happy or it could be the last time.
There are techniques to delay the onset. One is to hold the end of your p***s between figure and thumb and squeeze gently. Give it a go, just keep your other hand busy if you know what I mean.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 08:08 AM
I tend to find that if you do it more than once in a night then the length of time it takes gets longer. That is of course unless you wait like an hour before having another go. Try 5-10 mins gap and it should take longer. If not unlucky chap, you could try thinking of something really boring but obviously still look happy or it could be the last time.
There are techniques to delay the onset. One is to hold the end of your p***s between figure and thumb and squeeze gently. Give it a go, just keep your other hand busy if you know what I mean.

Ryan's right, but I don't think it's always true (my first time took AGGGGESSS. To the point where we both got frustrated by how long it was taking :p). I think Devine's point is better, if you follow up the first time with a second soon after, you'll last longer. If you can go for round three you should last a fair amount of time by that point.

As for the squeezing thing, I actually heard someone have this problem on some TV show once and the advice he got was to do that when masturbating rather than during sex, because it can be a little embarassing to have to do it during sex. Build the endurance up that way and you'll last longer. Oh, and seriously, knocking one off regular as clockwork'll help when you're going through a drought. It makes you sure stay less sensitive.

Katielondon
12-06-2006, 02:34 PM
Barringtons right takes me a good 1/2 hour at least to have an orgasm, surely viagra might help with the been able to keep going?, this is what ive heard anyway although i dont know how much truth there is to it.

Mandy
12-06-2006, 02:37 PM
A half hour?! I must just be a horny bitch then.

hasselbrad
12-06-2006, 02:59 PM
A half hour?! I must just be a horny bitch then.
God bless horny bitches. :D

As for the original question, what devine says is right.
I find it relatively easy to keep an erection after the first orgasm because the head of my penis is hyper-sensitive. Most of the time, I can keep it in, move it around and continue. Of course, this is very risky if you're wearing a condom as the only means of birth control, but if you don't let your big head deflate your little head, you should be able to remain hard.
Also...try different positions. I find that when I'm on my back, I can go forever.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 03:15 PM
I find it relatively easy to keep an erection after the first orgasm because the head of my penis is hyper-sensitive. Most of the time, I can keep it in, move it around and continue. Of course, this is very risky if you're wearing a condom as the only means of birth control, but if you don't let your big head deflate your little head, you should be able to remain hard.
Also...try different positions. I find that when I'm on my back, I can go forever.

What he said. I think Brad and Ryan are both right too, a lot of it is psychological, if you worry about it too much, you're bound to go too early. Relax, don't sweat it, and you'll probably last longer.

Mandy
12-06-2006, 03:22 PM
I can no longer read this thread out of boycotting images of Haz having sexual relations.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 03:28 PM
I can no longer read this thread out of boycotting images of Haz having sexual relations.

Yeah, jealousy is such a painful emotion eating away at you. I can understand that. Toddle off then.

Mandy
12-06-2006, 03:30 PM
lol Nice fantasy of yours.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 03:35 PM
lol Nice fantasy of yours.

Of course. You're so stunningly beautiful aren't you? That's why you seemed so self-conscious about your fat legs when showing off your boots to everyone. And that's why you keep calling yourself fat.

Oh yeah, how's that boyfriend of yours again?

Mandy
12-06-2006, 03:36 PM
There's a difference between you and I. I CHOOSE not to be in a relationship.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 03:39 PM
There's a difference between you and I. I CHOOSE not to be in a relationship.

That would almost be a coherent point if I wasn't actually in a relationship.

Denial...so sad. There there, let it all out, we're all here for you. Must get lonely in that place, all by yourself, that's why you throw all your affection into an ugly, noisy little mutt, isn't it?

It's a shame you feel the need to get so defensive about the fact you're not in a relationship. I know it must cut you up that I'm in one and you're not, but that's just life. It'll work out for you eventually.

Mandy
12-06-2006, 03:40 PM
It's not called a relationship when your blow-up doll doesn't fuck you back.

FYI I'm hardly affected by your comebacks as I'm merely having a laugh while waiting for laundry to get done.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 03:55 PM
It's not called a relationship when your blow-up doll doesn't fuck you back.

It's not? Jet will be crushed to hear that.

That would almost be a good comeback except like you, I'm entirely unaffected by it. I don't feel the need to be in a relationship, I just happen to be in one. Don't hate me just because I have something you want.

It is incredibly funny how much you change your mind. The idea of me having sexual relations repulses you now...yet when I was on holiday you insisted you didn't want me leaving the States without getting laid. Consistency would be great...

Plus it sort of blows your theory that I don't have a choice in my relationship status out of the water...

FYI I'm hardly affected by your comebacks as I'm merely having a laugh while waiting for laundry to get done.

Well I wouldn't want want you to be sweetheart. I actually feel sorry for you, so I'm offering you my sympathies, so I'm very pleased to hear my words aren't hurting you. I'm sure you're hurting enough as it is, every man you've ever loved has left you, and now you're all alone. But chin up, it will turn round for you. There are still plenty of blind men in the world.

Mandy
12-06-2006, 03:56 PM
It is incredibly funny how much you change your mind. The idea of me having sexual relations repulses you now...yet when I was on holiday you insisted you didn't want me leaving the States without getting laid. Consistency would be great...


Things change after you hate the shit out of someone.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 04:08 PM
Things change after you hate the shit out of someone.

Hate is such a soul-destroying emotion. I'd never waste my time hating you. I don't even dislike you. I'm ambivalent.

Mandy
12-06-2006, 04:29 PM
Actually hating you is extremely gratifying.

ryan
12-06-2006, 04:52 PM
lmao
this got ugly fast



can i play mod and tell everyone to quit bickering and get back on topic?

Jacoby
12-06-2006, 06:29 PM
anyway, i finished in like 2-3 minutes. we were able to do it a few more times, but the same result. i haven't had that much sex in my life to begin with, so i don't know HOW abnormal this is. i'm assuming it's not good, i just don't know HOW not good. in the past, i've used a condom, but she was cool w/ going au-naturale (skip the lecture as to why i shouldn't have done this, and yes i realize wearing one would numb the sensation a bit, but condoms just don't work for me... TOO insensitive, the exact opposite of what i'm talking about here)

Aww. It's alright, bro. Maybe sex just isn't for you. Don't fret, there's a lot of other activities your partner and yourself can participate in together. Things like sewing, golf, and crying. (There, there's my joke, I hope it's sufficient.)

But in more seriousness, I'm fearing the same thing (I am experienceless, so don't take my advice on the topic if I give any) and I've thought about it a lot. I think controlling an orgasm is a feasable task, but I don't know how it will fare with a girl-partner-vagina-thing. For example if you feel an orgasm approaching, if you slow down your pace to control it (which I think would differ it for a while) will the girl lose whatever stimulation she's feeling? Any type of answer ladies?

As for the tip holding thing, that may work. Not while masturbating though. I don't think masturbation would work as an endurance builder...because when you're being aroused and touched by a woman it's different than being aroused by, well, your own hand. Not sure, again, no experience.

(my first time took AGGGGESSS. To the point where we both got frustrated by how long it was taking :p)
What took ages? Convincing her to have sex with you?
:) :kidding:

iximisspiggyixi
12-06-2006, 06:49 PM
For example if you feel an orgasm approaching, if you slow down your pace to control it (which I think would differ it for a while) will the girl lose whatever stimulation she's feeling? Any type of answer ladies?

No, I doubt it. I wouldn't, at least...I prefer slower, harder sex, rather than like...fast rabbit sex.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 09:11 PM
As for the tip holding thing, that may work. Not while masturbating though. I don't think masturbation would work as an endurance builder...because when you're being aroused and touched by a woman it's different than being aroused by, well, your own hand. Not sure, again, no experience.

No, it definitely is VERY different. I've never had to take the advice in question, I just heard it on a trashy TV show. It may well be wrong, I mean, really, what do these people know? Everyone's different anyway.

What took ages? Convincing her to have sex with you?
:) :kidding:

Heh. Bitch :p.

once_dreaded
12-06-2006, 09:52 PM
My advice is to learn how to relax your pelvic floor muscles. They're the muscles you contract when you're trying to not piss and ALSO the muscles that contract when you're getting ready to shoot your load. If you can learn to consciously relax them you'll be able to stay longer. That was advice from some Brit sex-therapy show that I saw last year, the dude was getting off too quickly so they told him to flex & unflex those muscles at least 10 minutes a day and you'll be able to become an energizer bunny like Sting and his 12 hour tantric sessions. If you're doing it right your not-hard member will move up and down. Another tip would be to stop your piss mid-stream and re-start it.

This also works for females if they want to make their partner work for your getting off. It's the classic Kegel Exercises.

EmotionSickness
12-06-2006, 10:23 PM
can this compensate for being so quick in bed?

Probably not.


what is the average time that YOU LADIES experience?

30 minutes to an hour, if at all.

Hazzle
12-06-2006, 10:32 PM
My advice is to learn how to relax your pelvic floor muscles. They're the muscles you contract when you're trying to not piss and ALSO the muscles that contract when you're getting ready to shoot your load. If you can learn to consciously relax them you'll be able to stay longer. That was advice from some Brit sex-therapy show that I saw last year, the dude was getting off too quickly so they told him to flex & unflex those muscles at least 10 minutes a day and you'll be able to become an energizer bunny like Sting and his 12 hour tantric sessions. If you're doing it right your not-hard member will move up and down. Another tip would be to stop your piss mid-stream and re-start it.

This also works for females if they want to make their partner work for your getting off. It's the classic Kegel Exercises.

Aye, I've done those. Not necessarily sure if they work, as I tried them before I ever had sex (I was determined not to be a three thrust wonder), and I've not got anything to compare it to, but I do keep a woody every time I orgasm, and I do have SOME control to delay the onset, which would suggest maybe they did.

30 minutes to an hour, if at all.

Heh. There speaks a bitter woman. *cuddles* You poor thing.

EmotionSickness
12-06-2006, 11:35 PM
Haha, noo. I'm not bitter...really. My guy is great in the sack. It's MY problem.

once_dreaded
12-06-2006, 11:44 PM
My friends joke with me about my ability for popping off fake orgasms in public places (almost got kicked out of the Hotcake House on Saturday for it). They always ask me if the reason I'm so good at it is because I've had to fake an O in the throws of not-so-good passion. My answer back is always, "Hells no, I've never had to fake an orgasm while having sex. If the person isn't doing their job I'm giving them written and oral instructions on how to service me. If that still doesn't work I'll just push them off and show them how it's done!"

It's been too long since I've had sex with another person to know how long it takes me to cum. I know when I'm servicing myself it doesn't take that long cuz I just want the O so I can continue on with my day without feeling randy and I know WTF I'm doing so it's quick and to the point.

EmotionSickness
12-06-2006, 11:52 PM
HA... if there were an award for faking, I'd win. Or lose, actually.

Hazzle
13-06-2006, 12:19 AM
I've always thought that OD's approach is better than faking. Just tell the guy what he's doing wrong. That way you won't have to fake next time.

Katielondon
13-06-2006, 12:50 AM
i was always under the impression that in straight sex guys are often selfish and finish first? am i right?

once_dreaded
13-06-2006, 01:04 AM
I dunno about the whole sex with guy thing...I'm a lesbian after all.

Katie - like you I hear that the guys can't take it to the limit and get the girl off with pure penetration...usually have to warm her up with oral and fingers first.

Emotion - girl...if you can get yourself there teach your BF to do it too. It's quite easy for a partner to do it once they've received instructions. Try masturbating in front of him...he can take mental notes and get the hint as to what you like.

Haz - Seriously, if you're left not satisfied and frustrated then you might as well write out instructions on how to do it. I like to call it: Getting Me Off for Dummies or the Untalented.

Katielondon
13-06-2006, 01:08 AM
I dunno about the whole sex with guy thing...I'm a lesbian after all.

Katie - like you I hear that the guys can't take it to the limit and get the girl off with pure penetration...usually have to warm her up with oral and fingers first.





they should take a leaf out of our book, oral and fingers is more than enough to get us off, more than once, why guys dont try it?

once_dreaded
13-06-2006, 01:26 AM
Amen to that sistah! My brother wanted me to give up my "I learned from lesbians" t-shirt so that he could get plenty of ass. I cracked up at his reason, "Al...don't you see, if I wear this t-shirt all the girls will think I've got mad oral skills, c'mon please...I need some pussy for christ's sake!" I just shook my head and said it was staying tacked up to my wall where it belonged.

And guys, don't watch pornos for tips...they don't know anything when it comes to skills. If you're REALLY having a hard time with oral I suggest doing what I call Alphabet Soup - use your tongue to lick out the letters of the alphabet against her clit. That is your only lesbian tip you will receive from me *mwah*.

Katielondon
13-06-2006, 01:48 AM
i really hate it when guys complain about going down on a girl, i find it so satisfying to do to someone not to mention its totally yummy and i could do it all day if i was given the chance.

EmotionSickness
13-06-2006, 02:18 AM
Well, that's the thing. I've done everything, said everything, been aggressive, been passive, been mean, been nice...and so has he. It just doesn't always work out for me. I'm actually okay with it. I think.

ryan
13-06-2006, 02:29 AM
i cant stand sex longer than 20-25 minutes.

Hazzle
13-06-2006, 08:30 AM
Haz - Seriously, if you're left not satisfied and frustrated then you might as well write out instructions on how to do it. I like to call it: Getting Me Off for Dummies or the Untalented.

Heh, yeah, I know, I agree with you. There's no point just suffering in silence...well, actually, not in silence if you're faking it...

Katie: I can get a girl off with just my tongue and fingers. I think most guys can. Or should be able to anyway. Like you said, if lesbians around the world can do it each and every day, there's no bloody excuse for us not to learn. It does help having a lot of female friends who can talk to about sex. Every woman is different, so the more you talk to, the better idea you'll get as to the variety of ways women like being turned on. If she doesn't enjoy a certain technique, the more you know, the better chance you have of finding the right one.

And guys, don't watch pornos for tips...they don't know anything when it comes to skills. If you're REALLY having a hard time with oral I suggest doing what I call Alphabet Soup - use your tongue to lick out the letters of the alphabet against her clit. That is your only lesbian tip you will receive from me *mwah*.

Pornos are made for men, and the women usually fake anyway. I have heard some women say that about porn films before too OD. I've actually heard that tip before. I prefer spelling her name out, but really it's anything to change direction, because usually guys lick like they lick ice cream and it's not quite the same! The other tip I got was not just to use the flat of your tongue, but to change it up. The tongue is a very flexible thing, the more variety, the better the reaction you'll get.

I've found ice on the clit, then licking the melted ice water off is quite effective too...

ryan
13-06-2006, 02:07 PM
ice numbs, especially on something as senisitive as a penis or clitoris.

iximisspiggyixi
13-06-2006, 02:20 PM
ice numbs, especially on something as senisitive as a penis or clitoris.

Ice feels GREAT, I think.

Hazzle
13-06-2006, 02:21 PM
ice numbs, especially on something as senisitive as a penis or clitoris.

Quite. That's the point.

ryan
13-06-2006, 02:22 PM
Ice feels GREAT, I think.

only because its intense at first
keep it there a while and it'll either hurt or you wont feel a thing.

iximisspiggyixi
13-06-2006, 02:24 PM
only because its intense at first
keep it there a while and it'll either hurt or you wont feel a thing.

Doesn't really hurt on my clit. But it def. does when it's inside me, but it's like, a kind of weird good hurt.

Btw, for someone with a penis, you sure seem to know alot about what goes on inside of a vagina. It's a little strange.

Hazzle
13-06-2006, 02:32 PM
only because its intense at first
keep it there a while and it'll either hurt or you wont feel a thing.

Who said keep it there for a while? I alternated with it and my tongue. That's what I was recommending, but trying to be as lacking in graphic detail as possible. Y'know, just to spare you all mental images! :p

All I know is I've been with a girl who LOVED it. At the end of the day, I took that to mean it felt good, but if it hurt, maybe she liked it? Who knows? If she gets off on it, she gets off on it, why it works isn't my concern. I don't have a vagina so I have no idea what it feels like to have ice on my clit from firsthand experience, do you? I tend to trust a woman's view on this more than a guy's...

ryan
13-06-2006, 02:50 PM
Doesn't really hurt on my clit. But it def. does when it's inside me, but it's like, a kind of weird good hurt.

Btw, for someone with a penis, you sure seem to know alot about what goes on inside of a vagina. It's a little strange.

i like vagina.

hasselbrad
13-06-2006, 02:53 PM
they should take a leaf out of our book, oral and fingers is more than enough to get us off, more than once, why guys dont try it?

Hey now. Don't lump us all together like that. Oral and manual stimulation are very near and dear to my heart. And, guys who can't get a woman off through penetration, clearly don't know what they are doing. Sadly, as a woman in my screenwriting class said, most men just "score and snore". Straight in and out doesn't really do the trick. "Latin hips" and varying the angle of penetration are key to a G-Spot orgasm, which, is the Royal Flush to the clitoris' Full House.

Digital_Ice
13-06-2006, 03:36 PM
Ice feels GREAT, I think.

when i skim read that, i got quite confused...

Hazzle
13-06-2006, 03:53 PM
when i skim read that, i got quite confused...

Heh. You filthy dawg, been fucking young members off KKW again? Well, I suppose I should be glad it was a girl this time...

once_dreaded
14-06-2006, 06:24 AM
Ohhh Digital Ice, that made me laugh almost as much as Ran in the shoutbox. OMG I'm going to die from laughing so hard. Badger bisquits *cracks up* Oooohhhhh shit, my lessies are going to LOVE that one!

acliff
14-06-2006, 12:47 PM
And here I was thinking Haz and women's naughty bits were mutually exclusive, for the good of the human race...

Hazzle
14-06-2006, 03:38 PM
And here I was thinking Haz and women's naughty bits were mutually exclusive, for the good of the human race...

That law was repealed in 2005.