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mehrdad368
03-06-2006, 07:57 PM
In iran most of jokes are about peoples of city:
tabriz is the city in north west of iran with turkish peoples and turkish=donkey.
ghazvin in middle and they are gays.(hard gays I mean)
rasht in north and it has men without any prejudice on their wifes.
for example:
do you know what does a rashty woman do in the morning?
first think about it then look at the answer
answer is:she'll go home.(it means that she stay all night with other men)
I'll tell you more next time.

duckula
03-06-2006, 08:16 PM
Hilarious. I can't wait for the next one.

Mandy
04-06-2006, 04:12 AM
We wait with baited breath.

mehrdad368
04-06-2006, 02:51 PM
some one ask a rashty man that:how many cildren do you have?
rashty answered:15.
that man said:it's hard to memorize their name.isn't it?
rashty answered:yes but it's harder to memorize their family name.(it means that his wife has so many husband and that rashty man have to memorize the family name of the husbands of his wife. :-)

Ranman
04-06-2006, 02:58 PM
I blame Duckula and Mandy fot this tragedy

Juliamariskamadadh
04-06-2006, 03:14 PM
When you gotta explain your jokes it's just not funny

acliff
04-06-2006, 03:15 PM
Some of the comedy is slightly lost in translation...

Unlike the universal constant of jokes:

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

(and even though I think the joke is pretty clear, I'll explain: when you throw babies real hard, the can explode and get blood everywhere, and blood dries to a dark red colour. So the joke is not that the babies are not painting the walls by hand, someone else is with their blood. Hilarious. I mean comeon, babies have not the manual dexterity or the reach to be a decorator. )

Ranman
04-06-2006, 03:20 PM
Get kicked in the head one too many times there Cliff?

Pygmalion
04-06-2006, 03:29 PM
Whats one advantage of dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

(Because homeless people don't have houses so you can just push her out of the car into the gutter)

mehrdad368
04-06-2006, 03:40 PM
yes.my jokes losted in translation.
and rashtys women are not homeless girls.they have home but their husbands don't have enough prejudice.

Pygmalion
04-06-2006, 04:46 PM
Oh I'm sorry, I forgot to explain I was just jumping on the bandwagon. I wasn't actually talking about rashtys women.

Digital_Ice
04-06-2006, 05:01 PM
i've said it before, and i'll say it again...

...wtf?

Jacoby
04-06-2006, 06:20 PM
Question: Where is the BatCave located?
Don't think before you read the answer rightnowAnswer: In a rashty woman's vagina.

(Her vagina is so wide from all that Middle Eastern sexing, that you can fit Christian Bale, Michael Cane and the Batmobile inside it comfortably)

duckula
04-06-2006, 06:21 PM
That is gosh danged hilarious jacobizzle.

Bait
04-06-2006, 10:41 PM
HAHA those are really funny mehrad. I love rashty jokes! You need to keep telling them they are great. I bet you have done some stand up in your spare time huh?
Here is a joke for you

So a pissed off ghazvin guy is walking down the street and pushes a woman out of his way.

the woman says whats up your ass?

and the ghazvin says: nothing!

(the ghazvin guy is gay and that is why he is pissed off, he doesn't have anything in his asshole. gays like things in their assholes because that's how gays have sex. Since they are gay guys the penis would go in the asshole of another guy, but the ghazvin doesn't have one in his asshole so he is pissed off because he is gay. He pushed the woman because she didn't have anything to go up his ass either, hence being in the way of him from finding something in his asshole!)

LOL...I know it is lame to laugh at your own jokes but this one is so funny!

dave
04-06-2006, 11:13 PM
We wait with baited breath.

That's always been one of my favorite puns... Thank you Mandy for waking me up this morning... And I await your 'reeling him in'.



Dictionary Thesaurus Encyclopedia Web
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Main Entry: sotto voce
Part of Speech: adverb
Definition: in an undertone
Synonyms: barely audible, between the teeth, in a whisper, in soft tones, under one's breath, with bated breath
Source: Roget's New Millenniumâ„¢ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.2.1)
Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.


My favorite Middle Eastern jokes are the ones about the Nasurdin Shah. I'll look around for some.
Mulla Nasrudin (http://www.lucidity.com/MullaNasrudin.shtml)
Wikipedia notes about Idries Shah (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idries_Shah)

duckula
04-06-2006, 11:18 PM
Well that's killed the mood.

dave
04-06-2006, 11:23 PM
Well that's killed the mood.
And you think that's a 'bad' thing? There are so many really great Persian jokes, that if those are the only Persian jokes you've ever heard, then 'for shame!'

duckula
04-06-2006, 11:32 PM
My post was an objection to your posting of a dictionary definition, one of only two surefire ways to kill a good conversation (the other being invoking Hitler). Plus the joy of this thread was so much greater than just the jokes.

Digital_Ice
04-06-2006, 11:47 PM
well since this thread is ruined anyway, may i point out dave, that the phrase "with baited breath." is commonly accepted to be an evolution of "abated breath" meaning slow breath, implying holding breath in anticipation, and has nout to do with under one's breath.

anyway. back to more interesting matters

Pygmalion
05-06-2006, 01:18 AM
Three ghazvin are sitting in a bar, when a condom flies up and hits the roof.
One of the ghazvin men says "Alright...who farted?"

(Because ghazvin are gay and are hence anally penetrated so one of the ghazvin men had a condom stuck up his anus. Safe sex kids, its not to be sniffed at.)

mehrdad368
05-06-2006, 01:50 PM
a turkish man fall down of a skyscraper and he become uncle.
because his sister....

Mandy
05-06-2006, 02:41 PM
^^That's defenitely the best one you've told so far. I give you a standing ovation.

mehrdad368
05-06-2006, 02:51 PM
A cookie go to ghazvin.when it back it become doughnut.

hasselbrad
05-06-2006, 05:39 PM
^^That's defenitely the best one you've told so far. I give you a standing ovation.
:icon_rofl

mehrdad368
06-06-2006, 09:50 AM
some one ask from a turkish man:What do you think about America?
turkish said:one of their leg is in Iraq another leg in afghanistan and i guess they want to piss on Iran.

Ranman
06-06-2006, 10:39 AM
Wow, Not bad

Hazzle
06-06-2006, 01:55 PM
Wow, Not bad

True, it's not too bad. I'd check for climate change in Hell.

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top

duckula
06-06-2006, 02:06 PM
8+9+11+1+18+9+15+21+19

Hazzle
06-06-2006, 02:32 PM
8+9+11+1+18+9+15+21+19

17+21+9+20+5.

3+21+14+20.