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View Full Version : Here's A Mystery....


kingdumbass
18-05-2006, 02:55 AM
So Esquire magazine each year has its Sexiest Woman in the World deal....
But they make it a mystery for six months before revealing the "winner". Each month, they offer some clues, and a mysterious photo of that person. So, let's speculate as to who gets the "honor" this year, shall we?

http://www.esquire.com/sexiestwoman06/

You know, I actually think there's reason to consider Keira in the running here. Don't be fooled by the big-looking boobs on the chick in the picture. It could be a ruse. Note the "I'm missing two important things" comment she makes.

Now, who do you think this woman could be?

Mandy
18-05-2006, 03:05 AM
Could be Scarlett with all the trailer park talk....hmmm..it would also explain the big boobies.

And it's obviously NOT Keira, as we now know that she's into Kabbalah.

BrunoJA
18-05-2006, 03:05 AM
I don't know, but that sure as hell isn't Keira.

kingdumbass
18-05-2006, 03:45 AM
It could be her, made up to look really trashy....
Just look at the answers she gave to the 20 questions. It could be her.

Mandy
18-05-2006, 03:49 AM
I read the questions. It sounds absolutely nothing like her.

kingdumbass
18-05-2006, 04:14 AM
I would rather it be her, and it turn out that she's not really into fucking Kaballah, than the other way around....
And I think it sort of sounds like her (a little).

EmotionSickness
18-05-2006, 04:49 AM
Looks like Scar Jo to me. Doesn't sound like her, but it looks like her. No way in heaven or hell is it Keira, though.

Leonie
18-05-2006, 07:17 AM
I wouldn't go by the picture. "You can trust all of her answers. But perhaps not all that you see." Which two things could Scarlett miss? Sounds a little Keira-ish to me actually. Belly-piercing and everything. She dodges the accent question, because "Yeah, British" would simplify things too much.

I've been thinking: we have no idea who came up with that silly Kabbalah rumour. I bet it was Esquire.

devine kk
18-05-2006, 07:35 AM
i don't think it is Keira she does not look thin enough and has too much up front (i know don't trust all that you see) i just can't see it as been her.

Also i thought scarlett has a tattoo, maybe wrong.

kingdumbass
18-05-2006, 07:37 AM
That's what bothers me....
The bastards at Contact Music provided no information at all. All they said was that she's converted to Kabbalah, and she's been seen with a red piece of string on her arm. Where the FUCK did they get that tidbit??? DAMNIT!!! I want the truth!

(Yeah, yeah -- "You can't handle the truth!")

Liam
18-05-2006, 08:20 AM
Haha, Kabbalah.

DragonRat
18-05-2006, 08:32 AM
Elisha Cuthbert. Scarlett's got a nice enough pair for Tommy Lee.

BrunoJA
18-05-2006, 02:09 PM
That's not her body. So if by that ("You can trust all of her answers. But perhaps not all that you see.") they mean "we're using a different person in the picture," then it could be her.

hasselbrad
18-05-2006, 02:29 PM
Hahaha at Condoleezza Rice on the list. Hawt.

Hazzle
20-05-2006, 01:39 AM
Hahaha at Condoleezza Rice on the list. Hawt.

A man after my own heart. Was Mother Theresa given the lifetime achievement award?

EmotionSickness
20-05-2006, 06:55 AM
The photo of Keira sporting the alleged red string of Kabbalah is over at Keiraweb.

It does indeed look like the Kabbalah red string, worn to ward off the "evil eye", so to speak, but I'm pretty sure it's on the wrong wrist. Also, Keira strikes me as the type to tie a regular, ol' string around her wrist for the sake of boho fashion.

Anyway, I dunno who it is in Esquire. I would think Elisha Cuthbert, but it clearly (or not so clearly) stated that you wouldn't find her on the cover of men's mags and I'm almost 100% positive that Cuthbert has posed for Maxim or some other such rag.

kingdumbass
20-05-2006, 07:33 AM
Fuck, you're right....
Here's Keira:
http://www.keiraweb.com/sunmir140506.jpg
Here's Victoria Beckham:
http://network.news.com.au/image/0,10114,5130394,00.jpg

I would find it almost impossible to respect Keira if she's really gone Kabbalah. I mean, believing that a piece of red string protects you from evil spirits??? You've got to be really fuckin' DUMB to swallow something like that.

Jacoby
20-05-2006, 07:53 AM
"Keira had been up all KNIGHTLEY..."

OMG THATZ SO FUNNY! I'll never get sick of that pun!


But seriously. The "Knightley News" thing I'm cool with because it fits so perfectly. But just using the word anywhere is lame, especially if it doesn't even make sense.


And also, on Kaballah... If you have a red string on your tampon...does it keep evil spirits away from your vagina?

Actually I'm gonna go to a spiritual wise person on that one...

BrunoJA
20-05-2006, 10:38 AM
It does indeed look like the Kabbalah red string, worn to ward off the "evil eye", so to speak, but I'm pretty sure it's on the wrong wrist.
Yes, but as you know, the image could be reversed.

Ranman
20-05-2006, 10:57 AM
Actually I'm gonna go to a spiritual wise person on that one...

Its good that you came to me Jake

Its is wrong to eat a placenta

Hazzle
20-05-2006, 01:34 PM
Its good that you came to me Jake

Its is wrong to eat a placenta

But fuck me it's tasty...

once_dreaded
21-05-2006, 09:00 PM
I think it's Scar Jo as well...body type fits. It's definitely NOT Keira unless they airbrushed the hell out of that pic.

kingdumbass
09-06-2006, 03:42 AM
Another month, and more clues posted....

http://www.esquire.com/sexiestwoman06/

OK, maybe it's not Keira.

once_dreaded
09-06-2006, 06:53 AM
Damn, that girl has some legs *grabs drool bucket and proceeds to drool uncontrollably*

Hazzle
09-06-2006, 10:17 AM
That she does...

I think it's Scarlett Johansson. She's a lefty, she loves Tim Burton and cheese (hence Pizza). Plus she's smart enough to come up witty responses, and that looks like someone with a figure like hers too.

Hazzle
23-07-2006, 09:29 PM
Even more to suggest it's SJ in the most recent update.

http://www.esquire.com/sexiestwoman06/

1) The picture looks even more like SJ, from the boobs to those legs. In fact ESPECIALLY the legs as I'm a massive fan of her pins.

2) She was in Entourage (I know lots of people have been but it's a factor).

3) She's 5'4" (That was such an odd height for them to choose in the question, and such an elusive answer.) Technically if she wears flats she is 5'4" on the button, but instead of saying the answer depends WHETHER she wears heels, she said how high (since wearing flats would mean 0 inch heels)

4) She has beauty marks on her left cheek, although in some pictures makeup/airbrushing does cover them up.

5) She was in a movie called The Man Who Wasn't There which was in black and white. Really good film too.

6) SpongeBob. Noone else would give that as an answer.

Swordsman
24-07-2006, 01:27 AM
I'm going to agree with Hazzle. I think those are her legs. How many other short actresses are there with tits like hers? Scarlett doesn't have much going on in the back... like the chick in these pictures.

hasselbrad
24-07-2006, 01:33 AM
And, she's living in a trailer at the beginning of A Love Song for Bobby Long, scooping peanut butter out of the jar and dipping the spoon in a bag of M&Ms. Kind of goes with the first clue, no?

EmotionSickness
06-10-2006, 09:54 PM
It was ScarJo (http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2006-09-29-johansson_x.htm).

Arbery
07-10-2006, 09:43 PM
meh, shes nothing on keira

Mandy
07-10-2006, 09:46 PM
I KNEW it!!!