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Kelsey
14-07-2004, 10:04 PM
I was listening to "Scotty Doesn't Know", and although it's one of the funniest songs I've ever heard, I think it's sad and so I was thinking about it. In Newsweek last week, the cover article was about how more and more women are having affairs, and today on AOL is a very similar article. I would like to know your opinions on those who cheat on the person they are with, whether you think it's okay under certain circumstances, do you cheat, etc. Stuff like that. We needed a new thread for this board.

Pygmalion
14-07-2004, 10:59 PM
Well I cheated on my current partner and still regret it.

Mandy
14-07-2004, 11:08 PM
I'm TOTALLY against cheating on someone, I think it's so disrespectful. One guy a few months ago that I was really interested in cheated on his girlfriend with me, but I didn't know it. We'd hung out a few times, and we were really attracted to each other then...some stuff happened...and afterwards, he said, "My girlfriend would kill me if she found out I cheated on her." Yeah, I left after that, and never talked to him again. It still makes me feel gross when I think about it.

Pinkfairy
15-07-2004, 12:11 AM
My boyfriend recently cheated on me. He says he was drunk and he's sorry. I am sure he is because the other girl is really ugly. So I wanted to know why guys would do that. I, too, would like to know why people would cheat on their girlfriends/boyfriends. I really can't think of a reason, but I often ask myself why. I don't know if I should get back with him, cause he seems really sorry, but he might do ot again.

Hazzle
15-07-2004, 01:02 AM
Ok...well...we all know lust is a natural human response, so I don't think anyone should be condemned for having lust towards someone other than their partner. But I do believe in the following:

1) Looking is one thing, as is flirting, but cheating is wrong per se, as it's disrespectful and hurtful. It's just plain wrong. No ifs, no buts, if you love someone, you don't cheat.

2) If you do fancy someone else and see no future for your current relationship, have the decency to break it off first.

3) If you haven't had the decency to do so, or had a moment of weakness where you gave into temptation (and as humans, we're all prone to mistakes so let's not be too harsh here...) at least have the decency to THEN be honest about it with your partner.

4) Lying about it does not make it hurt any less, as eventually the truth will out and having a partner hate you is far better for THEM than having them become so distrustful because of the lies that their future relationships are ruined. Sod what's easy for you for a change, do the right thing by your partner, especially if you claim to love them.

5) For me it's only morally bad for the person who has the partner, not the other party...they are, in my view, under no moral obligation to not go with a person who has a partner...it's the one with the commitment who is under an obligation to do the right thing. Perhaps it's a little selfish and disrespectful to the person's partner, but sod it, it's a dog-eat-dog world and we all have to be a little selfish when it comes to third parties who we don't really give a rat's arse about.

(This is sort of a rushed post so if I think of anything else, I'll edit it)

Pinkfairy
15-07-2004, 03:03 AM
You're right Haz. My ex boyfriend broke #1,2, and 3. The truth did come out, but he still won't explain exactly what happened because he claims he was drunk. I don't know what to believe anymore. I know that when I get drunk, I don't remember a thing the next day (which is why I don't drink that much now) but I do know that I never cheated on him so it means that however drunk a person is, you still have a vague idea of what you're doing. And the third party really isn't to blame, but knowing how much it hurts someone I know I'd never get involve with someone with a partner.

Pygmalion
15-07-2004, 03:57 AM
I've got with people other than my gf, but I've only cheated on her once-if that makes sense lol. We're in sort of an open relationship.
She doesn't mind if when I'm drunk I get with other people so long as I tell her because she knows I don't love THEM. I don't do it anymore though, out of respect to her and because I don't have any inclination to anymore.
But the last time it was with her best friend and I feel like the most heinous horrible perosn for doing it. She was REALLY flirting with me and I know thats not an excuse. It was ONE kiss and I feel terrible just thinking about it...

Spire
15-07-2004, 04:26 AM
I haven't had a real chance to cheat.

How fucking sad is that.

Jacoby
15-07-2004, 06:04 AM
I haven't had a real chance to cheat.

How fucking sad is that.

Almost as sad as me. But, I agree with Hazzle on this subject. We've dicussed it before. Haz got it right.

DragonRat
15-07-2004, 07:32 AM
I don't believe it's sad that you never got a chance to cheat. Besides, what would happen IF you had the chance? Would you go ahead and do it? What propels people to cheat on their current relationship exactly? It's for those who have never been in a relationship, simply to wonder. And it's rather interesting to notice how many times, cheating can involve alcohol.

I, for one, have never been in a relationship, though most of my friends would admit one of two things: 1) I'm in serious need of a girlfriend; or 2) I would be absolutely loyal to a girlfriend, if I ever had one. And that is probably true. To me, a relationship is binding, unless it is broken up by one of the parties, in a discussion. It's about deciding for oneself what is most appropriate for our society - honesty and loyalty to another, or betrayal and injustice. (Even now, part of my heart belongs to another across the pond - albeit with a possibly false hope - and I cannot bring myself to let go of it. In a way, at this period in my life, I could never consider anyone else, and any relationship elsewhere I could never give my entire attention. Maybe that's just me.) I could never live with myself, if I cheated on someone; it simply isn't right.

No matter how horny you are, or how attractive the third party is, it is, however, all up to the person to act upon their thoughts.

acliff
15-07-2004, 08:54 AM
A scary thought:

On a fairly recent study into children with bone marrow cancer, for bone marrow transplants they need DNA matches.
They took DNA samples from their fathers as it should have been a match.
Out of 100 children it was found that 31 of the children did not share the DNA of their fathers. Not only was this terrible for the children who needed a different donor for bone marrow, this suggests that approx a 1/3 of the wives cheated on their husbands and raised the ensuing child.

When I read this in a scientific journal, I was mortified to say the least.

alby
15-07-2004, 09:56 AM
My thoughts on cheating: Yeah, don't do it. You should just end your relationship since you hate it so much.

barrington
15-07-2004, 01:32 PM
I've never cheated and never been cheated upon.
I like to think that's good karma in action. :D

Don't do it kids.

ryan
15-07-2004, 04:15 PM
id break up with the person if i was tempted to cheat on them.
i'd like to think i'd never cheat on anyone, but i shouldn't say never. things always change.

Kelsey
15-07-2004, 07:39 PM
A scary thought:

On a fairly recent study into children with bone marrow cancer, for bone marrow transplants they need DNA matches.
They took DNA samples from their fathers as it should have been a match.
Out of 100 children it was found that 31 of the children did not share the DNA of their fathers. Not only was this terrible for the children who needed a different donor for bone marrow, this suggests that approx a 1/3 of the wives cheated on their husbands and raised the ensuing child.

When I read this in a scientific journal, I was mortified to say the least.

That is so horrible and sad. First off, I don't think of myself as the cheating type anyways, but I definitely wouldn't be having an affair when my husband and I, or my boyfriend and I, were trying to have a baby. And if I *was* (for some evil reason) having an affair and did end up pregnant, I would like to think that I would be completely honest about the situation with both parties and fix it ASAP. In the situation that Cliff brought up, that must be absolutely heartbreaking for the guys who are discovering their DNA doesn't match who they think are their own children's. They're already possibly losing their child, then to find out the kid might not even be theirs. That's sad.

Hazzle
16-07-2004, 02:02 AM
Ok...several points.

First is merely technical. A few double posts on here...try and avoid that if you can, eh?

Second is in relation to DR's comments. Totally agree mate...you know my views on this and other stuff...and I certainly agree with point 1) ;) And the love across the pond thing...

Thirdly...good for you Bazzle but sadly it doesn't always work that way.

Fourthly...ryan's right, I agree...rather break it off than cheat.

Now...to focus more on Princess' comments as they were more direct.

Yes, cheating online is cheating...I caught my dad cheating on my mum online, and I sure as hell think of him as cheating on her...cheating isn't about the sex so much as the sharing of intimacy, however it's shared...even if it's a chat about really close intimate feelings.

On the point of honesty, I didn't think it's selfless, just the better option. Because eventually the truth will always come out, and I think hearing the ENTIRE neighbourhood talking about it is bound to hurt the person more? Especially if they join IN the gossip before knowing who it is that's being talked about. Total honesty will at least allow the other partner to move on, and I would guess the distrust would be less than if the spouse has been strung along for say 3 or 4 years...I mean surely you'd feel like a fool and begin to blame yourself for not seeing it? I dunno, never been through it, but I've always felt honesty full stop to be a good trait...I'm honest 99% of the time...of course the odd white lie takes up that 1% as it's a sad reality of life we all have to lie to get by, like why you were late for a job interview (it's never because you overslept, but because the trains cocked up).

Sorry, but yeah, what you did with that guy...that's cheating in my book. It's not my place to judge you, but just saying if I was your spouse I'd think it cheating. Sure it hurt him but undoubtably he could have found out another way and it might've been even more hurtful. True, if you can honestly say there was NO way anyone else you know could've seen you two together, or overheard the conversation or anything like that, then yeah, perhaps you might be able to say lying was better, but I'm not entirely sure even then. For me honesty is a cornerstone of any relationship, as is trust, and respect. Sadly you broke the last one (there really wasn't mutual respect in cheating), and you broke the bond of trust (hence the hurt caused to him), but at least you CAN say you were honest...without that your relationship would've lost all three key components, and for me that's a dead relationship.

Ahh...you think my views are the result of regrets? No...I've never had a relationship of any kind...so I suppose it's easy for me to say "I'd never cheat"...but I honestly believe I've waited so long for a relationship that once I found it, I'd never want to waste it by cheating. I'd rather break the relationship off and know I handled myself with honour and treated my partner with respect and dignity. Of course this is all a hypothesis I undoubtably will never get to test as no woman would be bonkers enough to have me :p

duckula
18-07-2004, 12:12 AM
Women are whores, why lie?

Pinkfairy
18-07-2004, 12:27 AM
I'd have to agree with Hazzle again.
I would have respected the guy more if he had been honest with me from the beginning instead of having to find outa month later from other people.
I believe there are guys who would break it off rather than cheat. It really is a personal decision that defines your personality. This guy isn't really bad, and he didn't mean to do it, and I believe him, but he still lied to me.
The fact that he was drunk might make him a bit less guilty, i don't know, but he still lied.
And I think cheating online is still cheating when it's something you haven't bothered to let your partner know of (guilt) and something he/she wouldn't appreciate it (it's lying).

Hazzle
18-07-2004, 02:57 AM
Hazzle,

You've never had a relationship of any kind... who wants to be alone? I sure don't want to be...I think we all wouldn't mind having someone we totally adore in our lives.

Bah...loneliness rules...well ok...it doesn't...but meh...may as well get used to it...it's certainly better than hope...because with hope comes disappointment without fail...me? Pessimistic? NEVER!!!

Btw...studies on cheating are typically surveys which rely on person's SELF-REPORTing of cheating. If men are reporting (acknowledging) more cheating than women, this could also indicate that men are more likely than women to ADMIT to cheating.

That's one reason why the stats come out the way they do.

I believe it's Anne Hooper, who authors books on sex, etc., who said a key difference between men and women is that men see ONE thing in many women... women see MANY things in one man. That's her theory, not mine, but I can see the truth in it. They simply see more women as postential sexual partners...?

And that's the other. Men still have the neanderthal urge within them to sow their wild oats...it's why we have mid-life crises, in part. Whereas women have traditionally had the mindset of seeking one partner to settle down and have children with. Of course over the years women have become sexually liberated and therefore feel freer to pursue and explore things...thus women feel more "able" to have affairs...that said the traditional mindset of being a wife and a mother plays its role too, hence women often have longer lasting affairs with less men, but men will often cheat more often with more women and have shorter (often one-night stands) affairs.

Women are whores, why lie?

Blunt as always :p

Ducky should be a diplomat to represent British interests abroad...he wouldn't last long in the job but the results would be hilarious. I could quite imagine him going to the Saudis whilst discussing military relations and asking "Why do you all wear tea-towels on your heads?" :D

keira_lover
07-08-2004, 01:08 AM
I haven't had a real chance to cheat.

How fucking sad is that.

I feel your pain Spire.

_______________

44th member of Keira Knightley's Posse

Hazzle
07-08-2004, 01:12 AM
I feel your pain Spire.

_______________

44th member of Keira Knightley's Posse

Care to elaborate? We don't bite...much...

kilyncw
12-08-2004, 05:50 PM
yeah the first girl i've ever loved cheated on me with her ex and her best friends brother, then says "i know i fucked but can't we try again i love you"
fuck that, this is why i haven't talked her, maybe 3 times since and thats cause she calls me. its cool i found someone who feels the same for me as i do for her and thats what i want and need. so it all worked out for the best.
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MedullaPancreas
21-08-2004, 08:18 AM
http://www.kkwavefront.org/forums/image.php?u=3&dateline=1087501448


Does using your hand qualify as cheating?

MarkOB
24-08-2004, 08:10 PM
Cheating is not acceptable at all. When I say cheating, I include swingers, I include a guy sleeping with another woman to try and help her get pregnant, I include... er, how can I put this?... sleeping with multiple people at the same time :)

Cheating, in any form, is unacceptable.

That's my verdict.

kilyncw
24-08-2004, 08:17 PM
Cheating is not acceptable at all. When I say cheating, I include swingers, I include a guy sleeping with another woman to try and help her get pregnant, I include... er, how can I put this?... sleeping with multiple people at the same time :)

Cheating, in any form, is unacceptable.

That's my verdict.

alright dude i agree with you completely but you are 14. seriously where is your basis for any relationship advice/status/comment?
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hasselbrad
24-08-2004, 08:27 PM
Does using your hand qualify as cheating?

Depends on who you're thinking about. Also depends on how secure your significant other is.

MarkOB
24-08-2004, 09:01 PM
alright dude i agree with you completely but you are 14. seriously where is your basis for any relationship advice/status/comment?

My basis for advice/status/comment is that I've not had the experience, and so I'm above those people who care more about what their pants think to what their head thinks.

kilyncw
25-08-2004, 05:38 PM
My basis for advice/status/comment is that I've not had the experience, and so I'm above those people who care more about what their pants think to what their head thinks.

don't change your thoughts as you get older and you'll do alright.
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Mickydrip
16-03-2005, 09:25 AM
If you should know I cheated once and I dont regret it I finally got this old girl that i used to like and at this party we ended up pashing put thats not the point when i done it she had told her freind so I thought I should go tell my gf before she finds out from someone else.So I go and tell her one night at her house and she isnt upset she just goes "well I know you used to like her and it was a one of thing, but Since you told me that I should tell you that I have been cheating on you for a week now".So when she said this I was stumped, anyway we broke up the next day.But so you know guys or girls normally cheat if they are bored with their current realonship like if they havent progressed, they are look for new thrills, sometimes even to see how it differs and too see if he/she likes it better and to see if they relasionship can survive something like that.------Mind the punctuation

Scott
17-03-2005, 04:21 AM
Never cheated on any of my girlfriends, and I've never been cheated on. I have however been dumped because they liked someone else. That's teenage romance for ya!

Andrew
17-03-2005, 11:27 AM
Never cheated on any of my girlfriends, and I've never been cheated on.
Or maybe you just never found out about it :icon_wink

Scott
18-03-2005, 08:19 AM
Ignorance is bliss

Vertical Vortex
06-05-2005, 05:56 PM
Cheating is disrespectfull and I hope never to do that. Why having a relationship if you cheat... thats the whole point of relationships, the commitment.

gracie
03-06-2005, 07:52 PM
i have cheated on other people, i mildly regret that. but i dont really get hung up on past shit. whats done is done. but more recently i have been the one who is the third person in the relationship if you know what i mean. and i mean the first time i saw him for about 2 months frequently. i didnt know his girlfriend so i didn't feel bad. And he was sort of an asshole, so i figured she had to know he was cheating and accepted it, particularly because i wasn't the only one. Now im seeing this guy and i know his girlfriend. Shes acutally really sweet and pretty. I feel stress more than guilt. But more i wonder why hes cheating. I mean shes nice, sexually available, here, and pretty. And i mean some of you know me. Im sexually available but not particularly nice, in fact im quite bitchy. its not particularly fathomable. Whatever.

Kelsey
04-06-2005, 09:40 PM
Gracie! One of my favorite people! I don't know if I've been gone so long, or you have, but either way, nice to see you around here once again.

I have nothing intelligent to add to this conversation.

qzx00
06-06-2005, 05:43 AM
It's not cheating unless you're wearing a ring!! It's better to get it out of your system now before you get married, then when you get married you can truly settle down. Any girl I have cheated on, knew before hand that I may cheat. Don't lie, that's the key. If you are upfront and straight foward there is nothing wrong with it unless you're married.

gracie
06-06-2005, 06:18 AM
Kelsey! ive been totally mia. fucking college god. lol but i missed you too! and to the whole it doesnt count if it isnt marriage. i feel like what youre talking about is open relationships, non monogamy. and then its not cheating. but would you have told them about it or would they have stopped seeing you if they knew? thats bad news.

Urbanebula
06-06-2005, 01:21 PM
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2 years+

I have not once thought about cheating or anything else that goes against her wishes. If i was handed the chance to cheat and get off scott-free I wouldn't take it. I think it's a turely sick thing to do to sombody you're supposed to care for (or love in my case) and if i knew any of my friends had cheated on their partner i wouldn't want to have anything to do with them.

Digital_Ice
06-06-2005, 01:56 PM
and if i knew any of my friends had cheated on their partner i wouldn't want to have anything to do with them.

thats a bit over the top in my opinion, you'd loose your freindship over the details of their relationship?

Urbanebula
07-06-2005, 08:42 AM
Ok, so I'd loose a hell of a lot of respect for them.

dave
19-01-2006, 11:13 AM
My boyfriend recently cheated on me. He says he was drunk and he's sorry. I am sure he is because the other girl is really ugly. So I wanted to know why guys would do that. I, too, would like to know why people would cheat on their girlfriends/boyfriends. I really can't think of a reason, but I often ask myself why. I don't know if I should get back with him, cause he seems really sorry, but he might do it again.
Never go back with a "cheater." You called him your "boyfriend". Boyfriends come and go. You deserve someone totally committed to you. Not someone who goes out and gets drunk and gets laid. AIDs is real. Do you want to die a horrible death because your "boyfriend" can't keep his pants zipped when he has a few beers?

If you go back to a "cheater" what message does that send? That you will be there like a little puppy dog waiting just in case he decides to come f*&k you this evening instead of his "Friday night woman?" (This is the definition of a woman who needs help. )

Never go back to a "cheater" unless you totally have his huevos in lockdown AND you have gone through months and months of counseling to determine why he unzipped his pants. If he can't hold his liquor, you don't want him anyway. A drunk is always going to have an excuse for whatever he wants to do. (including "hitting you".) :mad:

You haven't married this scuzball, get off his train. Go no further without his being so in love with you that he "can't get it up" for anyone else. (You can train him using ropes, chains, and whips so he will never git it up for anyone else... :) )

Remember, Drunks Lie! They can find a reason why it wasn't their fault no matter what the situation is. Do you want to live with a liar? What did he tell you? He told you it wasn't his fault... He was drunk! What he did when he was drunk could easily kill you. And you didn't even taste the beer... But you're dead just the same. What kind of "man" is that?

<snip> because the other girl is really ugly. <snip>
There are no ugly girls in bars at closing time... But that's where all the ugly men are...

Locate song written by Lee "Hatrick" Hetrick and covered by Willie Nelson. "I went home last night at two with a ten, and woke up this morning at ten with a two." Play it repeatedly while watching reruns of "Cleopatra 2525" or "Firefly", or "Serenity"... :) (Movies and TV Shows featuring Strong Women.)

A "Sex Expert's" opinion (http://magazines.ivillage.com/redbook/experts/sex/qas/0,,284459_615481,00.html) and a really informative way to waste an evening.

dave
18-06-2006, 04:29 AM
If it isn't too much trouble, how did this work out? Were those of you who cheated able to get beyond it, or did you just not tell?

And, PinkFairy, did you find a better lover?

Juliamariskamadadh
18-06-2006, 02:12 PM
Your absolutly right Dave..you can't trust em'.

KeirazBabe
23-07-2006, 06:54 PM
Argh i HATE cheaters! i would NEVER do it & i would never stay with anyone who did it to me.. i think its totally disrespectful... my friend was chated on & HATED her ex.. but what is she doing now? sleeping with this girl who has a long term gf... JEEZ.not on!!!

xXx

Cirindius
02-06-2007, 02:26 PM
Cheating is wrong. I don't cheat and I don't like cheaters. Good riddance to my x-gf. 'effing slut!

Scotsworth
06-06-2007, 12:04 PM
For the record, I hate that Scotty Doesn't Know song...because my name is Scott...and everyone insists on singing that infernal tune at some point.


That being said, cheating is terrible and in no case is it ever justifiable. I think that before you cheat, you should just dump the person. A relationship should be founded on trust, and it kind of like a mutual contract (so to speak). Cheaters are just terrible and no excuse is forgivable in my book. I've been with my girlfriend for 4 and 1/2 years, if she ever cheated on me, i'd end it in no time...because it's just something I don't think I could ever get over. It's betrayal. So yeah, cheating fucking sucks...don't do it!

Digital_Ice
06-06-2007, 12:07 PM
thanks for that... i now have that bloody song stuck in my head.

and technically you shouldnt care unless your missus is called fiona

Scotsworth
06-06-2007, 12:10 PM
^lol, true. But still it's sooo redundant

"Scotty doesn't know...that fiona and me do it in my van every sunday...."

I wonder how many times they actually say "Scotty doesn't know" in that song...it feels like at least 1,000.

lol, I just realized that I probably just increased the song being stuck in your head. For that I apologize.

x.keirafan.x
06-06-2007, 03:49 PM
One of my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago dumped me.

I was at school and i sin him snogging anouther girl. I ran off crying and then all my friends ran over to see what was wrong and when i told them. My best friend ran over too him tapped his shoulder and when he turned round slapped him. Didn't make me feel better though.

Then on msn later on he asked what was the matter i told him and then i said you could of at least dumped me first he said oh sorry forgot about you! :fencing:

Scotsworth
06-06-2007, 03:58 PM
:fencing:<---And then you guys fenced? lol.


Seriously though, that sucks...oh well...you're better off without him anyway.

Hazzle
06-06-2007, 09:05 PM
Cheating is wrong. I don't cheat and I don't like cheaters. Good riddance to my x-gf. 'effing slut!

Good attitude. Cheating is just plain fucking wrong.

That being said, some of you lot aren't half soft. Crying?!? Jeez.

x.keirafan.x
07-06-2007, 07:05 AM
I know it sucks but i got over him and i realised he was a minger. But i still cried but then i realised why dwel over the past.

Hazzle
07-06-2007, 05:49 PM
Smart girl. The past should be left behind you, where it belongs.

x.keirafan.x
07-06-2007, 07:29 PM
past is for past presant is now and future plan that what i say.

leo.nfsdoc
28-06-2007, 06:04 PM
Listen, love, if this guy isn't going to appreciate you for who you are, he's too self-centered to deserve you. The only reasons couples cheat are: low self-esteem (therefore they groom a lot and care about their appearances), long time of physical separation between their significant others (i.e. studying abroad, war, etc.), and finally plain old "God gave men a penis, and a brain, but not enough blood to use them both at the same time". Essentially, if he didn't go to war or to study abroad, he's either: a fruit cake, or can't control his member. I hate to break it to you, love; however, you're too good for this fucker. :) I mean that with the warmest sentiment, honestly. You see, quaint relationships are what I like. The mom, the dad, the son, the daughter, the dog, and the white freshly painted fence. Does that make any sense? The illusion of what the American Dream stands for is what attracts me into a deep hypnosis. I become fascinated with the whole idea of a perfect relationship with a perfect family, and a perfect, in a sense, life. Then again, that doesn't exist. It's an illusion.

"There was only one road back to L.A. US Interstate 15, just a flat-out high speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo. Then on to the Hollywood Freeway straight into frantic oblivion: safety, obscurity. Just another freak in the Freak Kingdom. We’d gone in search of the American Dream. It had been a lame fuck around, a waste of time. There was no point in looking back. Fuck no, not today thank you kindly. My heart was filled with joy. I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Alger: a man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally confident."


So, love, just remember that safety is only a state of mind (safety you feel when you caress a loved one [such as a boyfriend], or when paternal/maternal love is placed upon you like a warm blanket). Love is never unconditional, I know this because my parents abandoned me when I was 7 years old. Also, remember that the perfect relationship, the American Dream is just an illusion. Looking for it would be "a lame fuck around, a waste of time". Finally, know that happiness comes from within. You don't need anything to be happy, and if you keep that positive attitude up, you can build your own stuff around you. You can grow as an individual, and furthermore build a family. Don't get me wrong, you will always have trouble with every relationship, you just have to find the person you're willing to put up with. Don't linger on the past, and never look back. Never second guess yourself, and show the drive and determination of a strong young woman. Be sick enough to be totally confident; don't be afraid to take chances and live with those choices you've made. If problems arise? knock them down and smile at life. Say "bring it on!" instead of "oh God, why me?". Live your life to the fullest as cliche as that may be! Light candles instead of bitching about the dark....Don't you ever forget this, please don't, there is no point in looking back. "Fuck no, not today thank you kindly. My heart was filled with joy."

I hope this helped, and if you ever need to talk about your relationships or anything that you could ever possibly need advice in, I would be more than glad to try and help. You can essentially only help yourself, though.


Don't forget, there are people you have never met who already love you. Some people just love everybody regardless of who they may be. That also helps hold your hand in the search for happiness, knowing that you can always find someone who cares.


few bullet points:

1: Love exists, but it is never granted.
2: There is no perfect relationship, you have to work for it.
3: Don't you ever second guess yourself. Take a chance, make a choice, and deal with the problems that come from your decision.
4: Grab life by the horns...or by the dick...whatever you please. Don't you ever give up. Don't let anybody bring you down. "Bring it on...bring it on."
5: Don't look back, it wastes the time you could be living in the present or planning for the future.
6: You're everything you set yourself to be. Never more. Never less.
7: Do worry about the future, you're going to spend the rest of your life in it.
8: Don't forget, you always have the rest of your life ahead of you.
9: Never fight fair in the war of love. In a fair fight, most people will kill you....it doesn't give you any incentive to fight fair :) (had to add that from the Pirates of the Caribbean).
10: Love the world, and it will love you back.

Keira lover
29-08-2007, 12:38 AM
i hate cheating... and divorce (15 years of a life and a fucked up childhood, abusive stepmother, father in denial).

One of my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago dumped me.

I was at school and i sin him snogging anouther girl. I ran off crying and then all my friends ran over to see what was wrong and when i told them. My best friend ran over too him tapped his shoulder and when he turned round slapped him. Didn't make me feel better though.

Then on msn later on he asked what was the matter i told him and then i said you could of at least dumped me first he said oh sorry forgot about you!

You can do much better

JenR
25-09-2007, 03:41 PM
i hope i never cheat on a boyfriend. :(


Cheating is cheating in my eyes. i don't care if they're sober or not, they still cheated.

Hazzle
25-09-2007, 10:26 PM
Amen. I do realise cheating is merely human frailty demonstrating itself, after all, we're not infallible and the difference between those who cheat and those who don't is not the feelings they feel but whether they have the willpower to overcome temptation (which is never easy), but that doesn't justify it, only rationalise why it happens. Being able to understand is not the same thing as being able to forgive. I won't say it's impossible to forgive a cheater because I know people who've successfully rebuilt relationships after cheating but I don't think I could.

JenR
25-09-2007, 10:43 PM
its hard for me to say if i'd forgive that person or not. i used to say i'd never forgive anyone who'd cheat on me, but i can see how some people do try to forgive. I'd, personally, have some stricked RULES my man who have to follow.

I wouldnt dictate him, but i' make sure he'd know he would have to prove himself.

Mandy
25-09-2007, 10:51 PM
I was cheated on at 17. Hell, I even walked IN on it. Can't say I've ever forgiven him or even really talked to him after that.

JenR
26-09-2007, 12:27 AM
I dont know if i've been cheated on my a boyfriend. when i broke up with my 1st ex, he said he was banging girls everytime i wouldn't/couldn't go out with him on that night. I dont care anyways, he sure wasnt getting any from me anymore, because i found him to be a repulsive person... and annoying.

I was used by my (so-called) Best friend my Sophmore Year in Highschool. that broke my heart, when i found out he was only trying to get me just so he'd loose his precious virginity that all his friends had lost. All he ever does his try to fit in a crowed. fucking poser.. i didnt give him any either, so he quit talking to me for 2 years. He only talks to me now, because we both graduated Highschool (he a graduated a year before me). Now i wish he wouldnt speak to me. He just annoys the hell out me, he hasnt changed a bit. the only thing thats changed is that he finally lost his Virginity, but he has to go out with a whore for him to get any. hes also on drugs now.

dave
26-09-2007, 05:33 AM
cheating is for cowards.

First, I really love you guys. I often disagree with some of the things you value, but I appreciate that you really believe them.

You might think you know how I feel about "Cheaters" but you probably don't. You probably think there is a difference between "Cheating" before you marry and after. But I believe that difference is not as big as you might believe.

Whenever you are attempting to "pair up" it is (supposedly) as much of a commitment as we (us old people) used to make by becoming "engaged." Somehow, these days, people don't seem to value marriage as much as we did before it was possible to get abortions. However; there is, (or so my children and their friends tell me,) just as strong a commitment "without the paper." So when you talk about "Cheating" you really are talking about "a marriage ending affair."

For that, you need more information. Check out Crazy Times, Surviving Divorce by Abigail Trafford (http://tinyurl.com/2bynn2) I suspect I've told you about this book before, on other threads, but perhaps not. (The link is to the US version of Amazon.com where a used copy of this book costs 50 cents. What's that in Euro's? Less than a quarter?)

This book is full of statistics and Case Studies and absolutely no Psychobabble. It tells you several things that are extremely pertinent to this discussion. One major thing that you might learn is that there is usually an imbalance in a relationship that is in trouble and that the partner who imagines that they are being "controlled" by the other has "a marriage ending affair." They use that to commit an "unforgivable act."

But. If you understand that, (and neither of you contract a fatal disease,) it is just another type of conversation. There's something I told my children that it is important (I think, being old, ugly, and probably senile...) that it is important that you know and "internalize."

Sex is no reason to get married, (Especially "great" SeX.)
AND
SeX is no reason to get a divorce...

Remember, You weren't a Virgin when you got together, and you got together anyway. Sure you feel cheated out of a couple of "good times," but usually the partner who strayed learned a couple of new tricks! AND usually learned to appreciate you better.

If not; Dump them; Now.

Why Men Cheat (two days ago)
Australia - The Daily Telegraph Anita Quigley
Tuesday, September 25, 2007 at 06:00pm (http://tinyurl.com/2exvtz)

Unfortunately, the Why Women Cheat topic I was watching out on Topix.com is a couple of weeks old and I can't find it. So you'll just have to settle for this one on askmen.com (http://tinyurl.com/yv6gau)

Ranman
26-09-2007, 11:11 AM
Thanks for that ramble, now let me tell you about cheating, I've done it many times and dam proud of it. When you cheat on someone it is because you really don't like them that much. When I was engaged to Stacy I never cheated it never even entered my mind. If you hook up with the wrong person and settle for it and don't look for true love you will have a miserable life. Remember the only person who will be pissed at you if you get caught cheating is the person being cheated on and who cares? you didn't want them in the first place.

Hazzle
26-09-2007, 11:24 AM
When you cheat on someone it is because you really don't like them that much.

Then why not end it? No, Dave made a good point in that ramble, although he may not have realised it, and actually backed up Flightfreak's point. People who cheat because they don't want to be with the person they're with ARE cowards. They do something they know the other person won't forgive and thus end the relationship. It's all so that the cheater doesn't have to do the breaking up but that's taking the coward's way out, Like Flightfreak said. Man up and do the right thing.

When you're with someone you don't want to be with and someone else comes along who you do, I totally agree with you about not settling, but that doesn't mean you cheat. You end it with whoever you're with and then hook up with the new person. That's a totally different situation, but not breaking up with your partner first is basically because you're too much of a pussy to actually do the hard thing. Hate to be harsh but if you've cheated loads of times that just means you're a giant pussy Ran. Sorry dude, you know I'd often back you, but I've been cheated on, and it sucks.

Ranman
26-09-2007, 11:32 AM
Then why not end it?



Because you don't know if the new relationship will work out. And you're an idiot to give up steady sex until you do know, You're the pussy being doing that way.
And if anyone wants to comment on my remarks I would like it to be someone who has actually had sex.

Hazzle
26-09-2007, 11:40 AM
Yes, because I never have. Wouldn't even know what sex is, clearly. Dude you never know if any new relationship will work out, you tool. And maybe this is just me but generally speaking when I start a new relationship that's when steady sex is on offer. As a relationship gets older that decreases (women are bitches that way) so don't give me that crap. Plus if I'm starting a new relationship it's normally because I'd rather be having sex with the new girl than the old one, so why keep poking the old fire when you can light a new one? You're a pussy, it's got nothing to do with sex, it's entirely the fact you don't have the bottle to break it off.

Digital_Ice
26-09-2007, 04:29 PM
There's more to life than getting laid you know...

Mandy
26-09-2007, 04:32 PM
Wanna cuddle, Ice?

dave
26-09-2007, 06:27 PM
Then why not end it? No, Dave made a good point in that ramble, although he may not have realized it, and actually backed up Flightfreak's point. People who cheat because they don't want to be with the person they're with ARE cowards. They do something they know the other person won't forgive and thus end the relationship. It's all so that the cheater doesn't have to do the breaking up but that's taking the coward's way out, Like Flightfreak said. Man up and do the right thing.
Actually' I quite realized it. (and why I went back four messages to quote Flightfreak instead of some other message) That WAS the point. Doing an unforgivable act is merely a method of having that painful discussion without actually having that discussion. The "deceiver" gets to "get back" on the "deceived/controlling bastard/bitch" over and over again without ever being in danger while doing it AND without ever having to admit that "someone could get hurt" because, when all is said and done, "What they don't know won't hurt them..." That's how it goes for awhile. Then the bragging starts. That's when you need to talk.

As for people who approach relationships as though they were buying a used car, people who act like Ranman talks. That's how the law of Karma was discovered. You remember, "What goes around, comes around..." People who use other people like gaming tokens deserve all the sadness they get.

You know whats going to happen next? I'm going to have to read some gamesmanship crap about how his method of finding "True Love" is so much better than any other, and then we're going down that path, comparing methods/lifes/Loves. Lets don't and just say we did. You stopped when we got to the part where I described being in the room helping my beautiful wife give birth to the twins and you responded with, what? What exactly did you respond that compared with that? Oh. I remember, it was this "Zipless Fuck" you had up in Missoula, Montana... Pointless SeX, meaningless, but Almost as good as a three dollar rollercoaster ride.

One more question, and then I'll shutup for awhile, in all these "SeXual test drives," how often have you found a method for having "Tantric Sex?" I mean, If Sex is what you're going for, then better sex is better, Right?

Oh, right. Tantric sex requires honesty and trust. But you could just lie about all that. Try it and tell me if it works. I'm single these days, and I miss it.

Hazzle
27-09-2007, 02:22 PM
There's more to life than getting laid you know...

THERE IS?!?!?!? :icon_surp Why didn't anyone tell me?! (he's right btw, the big gayer).

michael22
27-09-2007, 10:59 PM
I agree, with Haz, for once. Cheating is just not right. This probably does not really matter to most of you becasue of my sexual situation. But as Ice said there is more to life than getting laid.

Porcelain_Doll
29-09-2007, 04:37 PM
Ran, you were engaged? Whoa.

And Ice, I can't believe you said that. Ten bucks that if anybody else had said it first, you'd be telling them to fuck off (no pun intended) :p

Hazzle
29-09-2007, 11:32 PM
Ran, you were engaged? Whoa.

Clearly she came to her senses. She was last seen crossing the border to Mexico.

And Ice, I can't believe you said that. Ten bucks that if anybody else had said it first, you'd be telling them to fuck off (no pun intended) :p

Heh, so true. This is just his part of his clever SNAG routine to con you women into bedding him.

Digital_Ice
30-09-2007, 12:06 AM
ok... seing as i'm not in the best of moods atm.... this probably isnt the smartest time to be on kkw... but hey, i'm an admin, i can delete it in the morning. (trust me, ask haz, he'll explain)

much as i like to be first to make crude jokes, i do feel women, and this applies to any women, is more important than just being a "fuck-buddy", if you just want a shag then go get a hooker you self centred cunt.

Hazzle
30-09-2007, 12:17 AM
Dude if you're going to use a glorious word like "cunt" don't star it out! You're right, of course.

Edit: It's a shame Urban dictionary doesn't define "Hazzle" as "Cunt". Anyone else agree?

Porcelain_Doll
02-10-2007, 09:40 PM
much as i like to be first to make crude jokes, i do feel women, and this applies to any women, is more important than just being a "fuck-buddy", if you just want a shag then go get a hooker you self centred cunt.

this is even cuter than a meep.

Hazzle
03-10-2007, 11:56 AM
this is even cuter than a meep.

He's adorable, ain't he? And all that stemmed from looking out for a friend of his. Aww.

Hazzle
08-10-2007, 02:52 PM
I see we have a new retard on the boards. Should be entertaining...for all of 5 seconds.

Ranman
09-10-2007, 08:40 AM
I see we have a new retard on the boards. Should be entertaining...for all of 5 seconds.

I'll bet you're happy having a fellow retard to keep you company you big wuss

Hazzle
09-10-2007, 11:09 PM
I'll bet you're happy having a fellow retard to keep you company you big wuss

Yeah, I'm glad you're back dude. I missed having someone more stupid than me around ;).

dave
18-10-2010, 08:27 AM
What a sad way to end such an interesting and fun conversation... *Bump*

Hazzle
07-04-2011, 11:18 AM
Yeah...whatever happened to that Haz fella? He was kinda dreamy...

Mandy
12-04-2011, 05:23 PM
Did we ever find out what happened to Ranman?

Foeni
12-04-2011, 09:26 PM
He was undergoing surgery as far as I know and no one has been able to get in touch with him since...

dave
13-04-2011, 01:29 AM
How long has it been since the surgery? In other words, has it been long enough that we should worry, or call his family?

Foeni
13-04-2011, 10:30 PM
He hasn't been online for around 2― years..

Mandy
14-04-2011, 05:40 AM
Doesn't really help that we didn't really know that much about him...Did anyone know his last name? You know, to look stuff up? I heard something about that Google internet thing.

dave
14-04-2011, 06:42 AM
He hasn't been online for around 2― years..
That is hard to believe... But, Last Activity: 27-07-2008 05:16 PM
I'm betting that it is going to be harder than Google. Every website gets a listing of the IP address that we log on from. But two and a half years ago, you'ld have to be really anal to still have that list. But if we do, that will probably give a street address or a name. I'm thinking if you tried to backtrace me, right now, you'ld get to dynamic-dns and that would be it. But if you chased down http://lucycrew.com , and I'm fairly sure my website is on here somewhere, that gets you my street address & name. Though my name isn't hard to find. Oh, if you Google my signature you'll find me. Did Ranman have any regular signatures?

Foeni
14-04-2011, 09:15 PM
Mandy, if you log on the mod/admin board you can see his last name in his e-mail adress.
Dave, we can se his IP..

dave
14-04-2011, 09:52 PM
Mandy, if you log on the mod/admin board you can see his last name in his e-mail adress.
Dave, we can see his IP..
There are a dozen ways to turn the IP into a machine name, but one of the easiest doesn't take any special privileges. Just try a "traceroute" to that IP address. You'll see the route that a packet takes "today" to get to that machine and at the end it will print out the name of the machine (I think I remember it working that way.) Then you can go to tucows or any other place that sells Domain names and try and buy that domain name. That will fail, but they will tell you the contact information for that domain, (i.e. name, phone number, & address.) Odds are good that it will only be an ISP, but that will give you a city, etc and with the Last name, you're probably there.

However, why doesn't somebody cute, like Mandy, just send a note to that e-mail address as a first order test? Actually, unless he has turned that stuff off, he's already getting a copy of everything we are saying in his e-mail. I do.

Mandy
15-04-2011, 01:08 AM
Mandy, if you log on the mod/admin board you can see his last name in his e-mail adress.
Dave, we can se his IP..

Yeah, but an IP means nothing to me if I have no idea who someone is. Lol.

did anyone know his last name?

Foeni
15-04-2011, 12:15 PM
Heh, I was talking about his last name :)
Shabert or Chabert, I believe..

See the PM I sent you btw :)

eelliiinn
16-04-2011, 01:09 AM
I did actually send him one or two e-mails, that was like 2 years ago though, but yeah no reply...

Hazzle
16-04-2011, 10:54 AM
So that's who Randy Chabert is! Facebook keeps suggesting him as "someone you might know". I'll see if I can get in contact with him on there.

Foeni
16-04-2011, 03:18 PM
I tried adding him, but without any luck..

Hazzle
01-05-2011, 05:18 PM
So far that's been my experience too. It's not looking good.

dave
04-01-2012, 07:55 AM
*Bump* It's been another year...

Jean Grey the fox
05-01-2012, 04:59 AM
I think to cheat someone is a funny thing, only if you think about it you are cheating... so what to do?, well i think is better to give than to cheat... something to remember is more important than a kid or even a present, maybe expending time with the person... For example, to find someone, is not by look but but by heart, itīs easy to mess up with your own head and belive wrong things beacause is harder to face the truth. i do belive in faith but i also belive in his voice, or feeling, if you are not sure, do not think twice, when is a matter of money think how many times you want (still not right for me) when is a matter of heart if you have to think itīs not. thatīs how you find the person i think, but as i said, itīs better not to look for boy/girl-friend, itīs better just to look for a friend no matter the sex, whatīs the reason to look upon the sex, itīs like when you have a son, do you expect any sex. Of course not, both are beautyfull, you can love your sex not being a gay.

Well about the relationship and cheating i think that the cheat sometimes happens because the relationship is broked, the respect is lost, the relationship stops, is faded, one or both fault, surely if one fault the other surely too. The thing is to belive in the other person. The realationship is end when you both get hurted. You can still love without contact. And at last but not least, itīs gods decition if a cheat happens or not, and if a realationship ends or not. Itīs important to go to the church and to really belive in votes, when you are married is something different, you can never cheat, you know by heart that you are married under God eye, sooo, do not. And here does exist the responsability for the third guy. But yet, god is right and neccesary, so if you get something and you are not happy, do not blame god or anyone it is what you deserve, try to change next time or maybe you have learned something more important, anyway, still follow the light on life if not how will you follow the light next life.

Nasemkine
14-04-2012, 12:44 PM
Thanx for our help! Will read the documents suggested.