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View Full Version : Best Lines or the Corniest


once_dreaded
02-04-2006, 11:22 PM
C'mon people...I want to see your best & worst lines you can come up with.

Worst: Knock knock. "Who's there?" Frito "Frito who?" Frito can I lay ya?
^Reference to Frito Lay chips

Best...okay...not THE best...but it worked: I'm new in town and lost, can you direct me to the best Lessie spot?
^Got a dancing-date out of that one LOL

Mandy
03-04-2006, 12:30 AM
"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

once_dreaded
10-04-2006, 06:55 AM
Last night I was witness to a line from a couple that caused a monster make-out session (I of course was NOT apart of this session because I know how to behave...either that or I'm just a prude).

Alexis (shouting to BJ & Linda, Alexis was DRUNK) - Are you two poly????

Linda (looking at BJ...BJ looks back eyebrows raised) - No...we're open.

Laura (also DRUNK and shouting) - So what does that mean???

BJ (doesn't realize yet how far this convo will go) - It means that we're in love with each other but not closed to the idea of inviting others into enjoying our intimacy.

Alexis (leans over to BJ) - So...you'll kiss me then?

BJ (looks at Linda & gets a nod) - SURE, why not.

The rest of the night was spent with me trying to get Alexis away from BJ on behalf of Alexis' twin sister Hillary who informed the whole table that Alexis' GF was at home ill & Alexis shouldn't be partaking in that kind of activity. I also had to referee Laura (who is str8 and married???) and Alexis because they were fighting over Linda & BJ. *shrugs* I had fun entertaining the table with my campy performances of the Karaoke songs but found myself being envious of the freedom from morals that drunk people enjoy LOL.

Leonie
10-04-2006, 08:13 AM
"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Does this relate to the hookerboots you said you own, in any way? :icon_bigg I suppose my oldschool Adidas trainers don't quite have the same effect...

DragonRat
10-04-2006, 08:35 AM
"Your clothes look very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming, too."

EmotionSickness
11-04-2006, 08:08 PM
"Your clothes look very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming, too."

Hahahaha. I've never heard of that one. It's good.

Some of the worst I've heard (that have actually been employed in my presence):

"You here alone?" I know, this one doesn't seem that bad/corny, but picture a guy inquiring this aloud to a girl who is standing near another male whom she was JUST seen coquettishly mingling/canoodling with. Or to a girl who is clearly part of a large party.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Again, seemingly not such a bad pick-up line (hell, this is one of my dream lines... just make it a Red Stripe or a Bellini, please), however, this was said to me in the conspicuous presence of my boyfriend who was SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME at the bar. Why do some guys do that? Do they automatically assume that they can steal a girl away from whomever she's currently with?

"So, when do you turn 21?"/"How old are you?"/"What're you doin' after work?" I was asked this countless times by a multitude of malodorous proletariats while I was working as a waitress.

Ohh, yes you Sam Shepard-esque, middle-aged, lunch-bucket worker. Please wait for me outside in your barely-functioning, begrimed, pale blue Ford pick-up. I can't wait.

"That's a really nice picture. I mean, reaaaaally nice. *head nod*" The teenager working at my local video store said this to me upon seeing my driver's license. Maybe he was being genuine?

"You have to be the prettiest girl here tonight." Okay, this is extremely cheese-laden, but it was said to me about four years ago at a local concert and, hey, it worked! We're still together today. Granted, I was (as far as I could see) one of the only females within the vicinity, but I'll take what I can get.

hasselbrad
11-04-2006, 08:27 PM
Does this relate to the hookerboots you said you own, in any way? :icon_bigg I suppose my oldschool Adidas trainers don't quite have the same effect...

Yeah...um...it has nothing to do with the shoes.

"How'd ya like to have some pizza and some sex?"
"What?!?!"
"I'm sorry...you don't like pizza?"

;)

Mandy
11-04-2006, 08:29 PM
"I'd hate to see your future walk away from you." Then you see him walking away.

That was probably the most clever one I've experienced.

hasselbrad
11-04-2006, 08:33 PM
"I'd hate to see your future walk away from you." Then you see him walking away.

That was probably the most clever one I've experienced.

Surely you've had creepy old men take it to Gouda level at the casino.

Rob The BLack Douglas
11-04-2006, 09:54 PM
Wanna play my bagpipes?

once_dreaded
12-04-2006, 01:56 AM
^ Ewwww image-causing line Ewwwwww gross gross gross I need a good mind scrubbing.

"Are you dancing with anyone?..Would you like to dance with me?"

Hey, I can't resist when I'm asked to dance so of course I danced with Heidi from Ohio, she was cool and I had fun.

once_dreaded
17-04-2006, 12:26 AM
"Wanna taste my oatmeal cookies?" *sexy smirk*

Jacoby
17-04-2006, 04:34 AM
This is my favorite to use on all the ladies:

"Wanna fornicate?"

I just thought of another good one:
"I bet you twenty bucks I could pop my load with you in under five minutes."

If she takes the bet you get laid, and you get 20 bucks. Well I'd get the 20 at least. My highest duration is 00:00:34 (hr/min/sec)

Ranman
17-04-2006, 11:44 AM
Excuse me, would you like to come home with me,
cook me dinner and give me a blowjob you cumcatcher

DefyingGravity
17-04-2006, 12:38 PM
Excuse me, would you like to come home with me,
cook me dinner and give me a blowjob you cumcatcher

If you go to a dominant/submissive fetish meeting, that would probably work. :icon_err:

marine
17-04-2006, 02:10 PM
"I'd hate to see your future walk away from you." Then you see him walking away.

That was probably the most clever one I've experienced.

I actually like this one.

Here's one of the most stupid I heard:
(keep in my mind that I hadn't said a word)
"hey, you have a beautiful voice, are you a singer, you should be, you got me totally enchanted" blablablabla
I had a hard time not laughing at this one.

Ranman
17-04-2006, 04:01 PM
If you go to a dominant/submissive fetish meeting, that would probably work. :icon_err:


What?

How do you think I got engaged? :icon_lol:

Mandy
17-04-2006, 04:14 PM
"I just wanted to remind you that it's not gonna suck itself."

Jacoby
17-04-2006, 07:36 PM
I actually like this one.

Here's one of the most stupid I heard:
(keep in my mind that I hadn't said a word)
"hey, you have a beautiful voice, how are you a singer, you should be, you got me totally enchanted" blablablabla
I had a hard time not laughing at this one.

You should have pretended you were mute, then flicked him off and walked away. He would have felt stupid.

(Do people use the middle finger in France?)

Scaramouche
17-04-2006, 10:28 PM
(Do people use the middle finger in France?)

Yes, haha, it's universal. i saw it a couple times when i was there.

Your dad must be a terrorist, cause you're the bomb


Yeah.... someone at school told me that one. haha.

Swordsman
17-04-2006, 11:12 PM
hey baby, i was just wonderin... do you wanna go urinate in the frozen food section and watch it steam up?....OH AND DO IT?!

marine
18-04-2006, 10:24 AM
Yes, haha, it's universal. i saw it a couple times when i was there.



As scaramouche said it's universal. People do it everywhere I think

michael22
19-04-2006, 11:55 PM
Wanna play my bagpipes?

that actually worked... twice (not on the proposed subject but we dated for a while)

marine
24-04-2006, 03:53 PM
him "do you want to kiss me?"
him "do you want to meet later and sleep with me?"

at least it's clear.

Leonie
24-04-2006, 03:59 PM
"your cute" (http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=33216761&blogID=113184898&MyToken=4406a5ba-4783-4b72-a788-c8a6e89ccd09)

once_dreaded
25-04-2006, 04:29 AM
^Awwwe you have a fan.

"You're like one of our groupies, does that mean you'll sleep with me?"

I'm thinking of using it on my friend Tanya cuz she "observes" the fun that my friends and I are having and I keep teasing her that she's my groupie.

Rob The BLack Douglas
26-04-2006, 06:10 PM
Want to hunt for the Loch Ness Monster?


Rob

once_dreaded
28-04-2006, 11:10 PM
^TFF...should add "....in my pants?"

Rob The BLack Douglas
29-04-2006, 03:51 AM
^TFF...should add "....in my pants?"


I don't wear pants, so no that wouldn't work ;)


Rob

Jacoby
29-04-2006, 06:07 AM
I don't wear pants, so no that wouldn't work ;)


Rob

Wait, you don't wear pants? OMAHGAH what do you wear a kildt?! LOlololoOLOL<LOLOLOLOLOlloololol

Swordsman
29-04-2006, 04:20 PM
I'm not exactly sure on what Rob thinks but if he's anything like me...he burned all his pants in protest...to wearing pants.

Jacoby
29-04-2006, 05:16 PM
I'm not exactly sure on what Rob thinks but if he's anything like me...he burned all his pants in protest...to wearing pants.

Homer Simpson: My pants are really bothering me, I hope he has us burn our pants.


Homer [to comedian](shouting): Don't you hate pants?!


Night at the Roxbury had some pretty nice pick-up lines. Something about blueberries in the morning, and mirrored-pants or something. I'm too lazy to check IMDB.

Rob The BLack Douglas
03-05-2006, 02:47 AM
I'm not exactly sure on what Rob thinks but if he's anything like me...he burned all his pants in protest...to wearing pants.


I burned my pants cause my balls made parole.

Rob

Swordsman
04-05-2006, 01:05 AM
My balls just complaining about how stuffy it was. Plus i just hated my goddamn pants.

Alisa
14-05-2006, 02:36 AM
I think all pick up lines are immature.

Swordsman
14-05-2006, 05:10 AM
I think all pick up lines are immature.

...COOL.

once_dreaded
03-06-2006, 11:52 AM
*shrugs* I don't care one way or the other about pick-up lines...I usually go up to people and introduce myself or ask for a pen (for some reason that works in starting convos *shrugs*).

"Al, you're a hot dyke, want to go on a double date with Erica and me...Erica's got a date but I need someone to go with."
My reply, "Yeah...sure, I guess...but Betsy aren't you straight?"
Her answer, "Nah...well...I'm straight but confused."
Erica chimed in, "Yeah the jury's still out on this one."
My reply, "Okay. So Erica, ya think if I turn her I get to skip the toaster-oven and go straight to the delux BBQ?"
Erica laughing, "Ummm I dunno cuz she says she's confused."
Betsy, "Yeah but I'd make a fine Lesbian!"

Mandy
20-08-2006, 06:07 AM
*bump!*

"Yo baby, I've got the WHOLE dictionary tattooed on my dick. So why don't I come over later and put some words into you?"

acliff
20-08-2006, 10:46 AM
A couple of less direct ones:

'Hi, can I ask you a question? Do you ever get the feeling that going to bars and clubs is ultimately pointless? What I mean is, More and more I can't help get the feeling that what I want is always just before my eyes... How about you?'

'Heya, my friends think I would be good for you'

'Hey, before you get any ideas, lets just be friends'

Hazzle
20-08-2006, 07:01 PM
*bump!*

"Yo baby, I've got the WHOLE dictionary tattooed on my dick. So why don't I come over later and put some words into you?"

Eh? Does that even make sense? "put some words into your mouth" makes more sense.

'Hi, can I ask you a question? Do you ever get the feeling that going to bars and clubs is ultimately pointless? What I mean is, More and more I can't help get the feeling that what I want is always just before my eyes... How about you?'

Didn't you just blow your question by asking if you can ask one? Does that one actually work, because I swear most girls I know would respond with "Yeah, you just did" and walk off. Then again my friends are bitches...

'Heya, my friends think I would be good for you'

An oldie but a goodie. Ultimately doomed to failure, however.

'Hey, before you get any ideas, lets just be friends'

That actually sounds like it might work. It's cheeky enough without being too crass or cheesy, and it's actually funny rather than trying to be. Also seems more genuine and honest than most. When my lovely girlfriend realises I'm an absolute tool and dumps me I'll be sure to use that. And wind up with a restraining order like every other time...

acliff
20-08-2006, 09:33 PM
Didn't you just blow your question by asking if you can ask one? Does that one actually work, because I swear most girls I know would respond with "Yeah, you just did" and walk off. Then again my friends are bitches...

Well you don't actually give them a chance to answer your first question. The first bit is just for having an excuse to talk to them.
The second two lines include 2 embedded commands.

I fluffed up the wording *slightly*:
'Hi, can I ask you a question? Do you ever get the feeling that going to bars and clubs is ultimately pointless? What I mean is, More and more I can't help get the feeling that what we want is always just before our eyes... How about you?'

In bold to be spoken with emphasis.

Hazzle
21-08-2006, 07:44 AM
Well you don't actually give them a chance to answer your first question. The first bit is just for having an excuse to talk to them.

Ahh, good point. Then again, I think women are becoming more savvy to the jedi mind trick school of picking up (presumably as it's been tried, probably successfully at first, on them so many times, they now spot it a mile off).

Violet
03-09-2006, 08:22 PM
Spot them a mile off? I don't know about that, they're usually so subtle. I mean, what about the ultra intelligent, 'If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.' Or the well thought out, 'Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?' Or my personal favourite, 'If you were a booger I'd pick you first.' Be still my beating heart.

Hazzle
04-09-2006, 04:38 PM
Oh come on now, be fair! Cliff's approach is a little more subtle than those!

That said I still find that just walking up to a girl, saying hello and asking if you can buy her a drink is the best way to go. There's no pretense, no "fake" humour, just flat-out honesty. If she likes you back, she'll take the drink, even if she's already got a dozen in front of her, as it's an excuse to talk to you. If she doesn't, then a "witty" line isn't going to change that.

To be fair you've either scored or crashed and burned long before you even open your mouth. Apparenty most women assess you walking towards them. The way you walk shows your confidence or lack thereof, if you're smiling it'll mean (in theory) that you'll be fun and hopefully funNY too, and the way you dress will accentuate your best features and also give a clue as to the lifestyle you lead, the job you do, how much money you make etc. Clothes can also demonstrate confidence too and confidence is the single most attractive trait anyone can have. All this will either impress enough to get you a window of opportunity, or not.

Once you've got the window then being natural is the best approach.

Violet
04-09-2006, 05:11 PM
That said I still find that just walking up to a girl, saying hello and asking if you can buy her a drink is the best way to go. There's no pretense, no "fake" humour, just flat-out honesty. If she likes you back, she'll take the drink, even if she's already got a dozen in front of her, as it's an excuse to talk to you. If she doesn't, then a "witty" line isn't going to change that.

Once you've got the window then being natural is the best approach.
Finally, people are beginning to get the message. However, the confidence thing isn't always true - remember some girls like the shy thing too. Too much confidence can come accross as arrogance. That is definatly a no go.

Martijn Slegers
16-11-2006, 11:57 AM
Finally, people are beginning to get the message. However, the confidence thing isn't always true - remember some girls like the shy thing too. Too much confidence can come accross as arrogance. That is definatly a no go.


I completely concur with that! Personally I fall much easier for a shy girl than for someone that looks extremely confident. Shy girls that aren't really aware of their pretty-ness are extremely sexy to me :icon_redf

butterfly*wench
20-12-2007, 06:50 PM
pick up lines are sleazy and yucky half the time. I prefer sweet. or none at all.

Keira lover
24-07-2008, 01:27 AM
Hi, How are you. Get the Fuck out of my way.

Need I remind you that what you are doing is a violation of the ADA?

Cripple coming through.

Where's my Soda.

A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?--Ouch.

Digital_Ice
24-07-2008, 12:59 PM
Need I remind you that what you are doing is a violation of the ADA?

Invalid pascal code?

Keira lover
24-07-2008, 09:49 PM
Invalid pascal code?

Americans with Disabilities Act (I have walked with a limp for over a year, a cane for 6 months)

Digital_Ice
24-07-2008, 10:21 PM
.... i know what the ADA is. it was a joke.

Keira lover
15-08-2008, 02:59 AM
Invalid pascal code?

What, Pascal as in his triangle ? I don't get it.

Digital_Ice
15-08-2008, 05:04 PM
ADA is a programming language based on Pascal.

Keira lover
15-08-2008, 08:12 PM
ADA is a programming language based on Pascal.

OK, now it makes sense. It still isn't as funny as say, "Hey, that's funny, but you know what's funnier......your face" for example.