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View Full Version : Name 3 things youd buy at Wal-Mart to freak out the person at the register.


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Ranman
01-12-2005, 11:18 AM
I got this idea from another forum. I related to it because it really
happened to me. My sisters asked me to pick up a few things for
them on the way home from work. So as I paid for the items at the register
I couldn't figure out why the cashier was giving me funny looks.
On the drive home it hit me

1. Box of Maxi-pads
2. Massengill douche
3. Mouth wash

This happens to be true, but in this thread, truth is not an issue.
Make up sick, scary or bizarre stuff. Lets go for laughs.

For example

Package of condoms
Dog treats
Muzzle

( BTW not true)

hasselbrad
01-12-2005, 12:52 PM
Condoms
K-Y
Children's Halloween costume

duckula
01-12-2005, 01:52 PM
Shotgun.
Balaclava.
Big black bag.

acliff
02-12-2005, 02:01 AM
Ice hockey mask
12 inch japanese steel cooking knife
Knife sharperner
box of band aids
The bible

Rob The BLack Douglas
02-12-2005, 04:51 AM
Jumper Cables
Motor Oil
Latest Issue of Cosmo with headline "Latest sex tricks to drive your man wild in bed"

Bait
02-12-2005, 06:04 AM
KY
camcorder
candy
trench coat(i dont know if they have those though...maybe a bath robe will work?)
gun

devine kk
02-12-2005, 07:23 AM
Ladies underwear
trench coat
velcro

FLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ranman
02-12-2005, 09:55 AM
A drill
Vasoline
A life size Barbie Doll


Or you don't even have to buy anything
Just stand on line
When you get to the register scream at the cashier
"Are you open on Thursday's?"
When she say's "yes"
You scream "Thank You" and run out of the store.
They will be talking about you for years

hasselbrad
02-12-2005, 01:28 PM
Try to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

Foeni
02-12-2005, 02:55 PM
Aspirin
Liquor
A book named "How to get laid".

hasselbrad
02-12-2005, 03:50 PM
Aspirin
Liquor
A book named "How to get laid".
Wal Mart doesn't sell liquor or books with such titles.

Foeni
02-12-2005, 06:43 PM
How would I know...
I saw Wal-Mart to be an example of a store. Do they sell shotguns?

hasselbrad
02-12-2005, 06:56 PM
How would I know...
I saw Wal-Mart to be an example of a store. Do they sell shotguns?
Shotguns...yes.
Liquor and sexually suggestive materials...no.
Part of that whole religious right wing conspiracy that Ranman has anoited me a member of.
;)

Foeni
02-12-2005, 06:58 PM
Wtf? Oh, anyhow. I've never seen a Wal-Mart.

hasselbrad
02-12-2005, 07:00 PM
Wtf? Oh, anyhow. I've never seen a Wal-Mart.
Don't worry...you will. The war in Iraq is just a diversion to keep people from seeing America's true plan for world domination.
Washington D.C. is only a ruse...the real seat of power lies in Bentonville, Arkansas.
Muhahahahaaha!

Richard
03-12-2005, 04:07 AM
I'd rather piss off the cashier with...

Several dozen 24-pack Arrowhead water bottles
Several dozen pepsi bottles
and several dozen t-shirts (with the hangers and I expect them to be folded)

Mandy
03-12-2005, 04:43 AM
KY jelly, A sack of cucumbers, and a disposable camera. ;)

Rob The BLack Douglas
03-12-2005, 05:47 AM
Pay for each item individually

Bait
03-12-2005, 06:06 AM
KY jelly, A sack of cucumbers, and a disposable camera. ;)

i dont think this would make the cashier give funny looks...more like thoughts of getting a job in the film developing section ;)

and if its a female im sure she might give you one of those looks like "long night for you too ;) " instead of a funny look

a ring in return
03-12-2005, 02:55 PM
A Clay Aiken cd, all 4 seasons of American Idol, and 19 apples.

Mandy
03-12-2005, 04:08 PM
i dont think this would make the cashier give funny looks...more like thoughts of getting a job in the film developing section ;)

and if its a female im sure she might give you one of those looks like "long night for you too ;) " instead of a funny look

Ah. But the cashiers 'round these parts are old ladies of ages 55+

acliff
03-12-2005, 05:01 PM
Size 30 thongs
Squeezy chocolate sauce
Clothes pegs

meegaan1
04-12-2005, 04:44 PM
Condoms
Super Glue or Lubricant
Barney's Big Adventure!

Rob The BLack Douglas
05-12-2005, 02:36 AM
k-y jelly

giant stuffed animal

six pack of Schlitz beer(Some Wal-Marts do indeed sell booze)

hasselbrad
05-12-2005, 03:12 PM
KY jelly, A sack of cucumbers, and a disposable camera. ;)
Winner!

Ranman
05-12-2005, 05:35 PM
Exlax
Preparation H
Toilet Tissue

DefyingGravity
06-12-2005, 08:49 PM
1. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince book
2. Wizard costume
3. Several condoms

Mandy
08-12-2005, 12:28 AM
hah I'd take my boyfriend and get an already-opened pack of toilet paper, an already-opened pack of condoms, and the same tent in a box that was on display. :D

Ashley
10-12-2005, 08:35 AM
Off-topic but funny story about Wal-Mart. Tonight I ran into wal-Mart to get some cups, dice, and ping pong balls and left two friend in my car. (note: this was around Midnight) So I get back out to the car and they told me that they saw two people having sex in their van in the next row over from us. Ahh, the things you see at 24 hour Wal-Marts.

Ranman
14-12-2005, 10:07 PM
A big bottle of rubbing alcohol
Cups
Bag of ice

Pygmalion
15-12-2005, 07:59 AM
(If I hypothetically had a penis)
I'd buy:
1. A mirror
2. Some viagra
3. A box of tissues

hasselbrad
15-12-2005, 04:08 PM
Shotgun
Ski mask
Duct tape

Kelsey
15-12-2005, 05:16 PM
I boycott Wal Mart, and I'm not funny so I can't think of three things. But did anyone hear about that Wal Mart manager who called the cops on the black guy who wrote a company check for 13'000 dollars?

Ranman
15-12-2005, 09:49 PM
Come on Kelsey, someone as creative as you
can't come up with something funny?

President Bush doll
Lighter fluid
Box of matches

hasselbrad
15-12-2005, 10:26 PM
I boycott Wal Mart, and I'm not funny so I can't think of three things. But did anyone hear about that Wal Mart manager who called the cops on the black guy who wrote a company check for 13'000 dollars?
Yeah...happened about 20 minutes from me. Moron has already been fired.

President Bush doll
Lighter fluid
Box of matches
Thank you for your post...your submission has been submitted to the Department of Homeland Security. Please have a small bag packed when we come for you.

Ranman
15-12-2005, 10:32 PM
:icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl
They will never take me alive

hasselbrad
16-12-2005, 01:35 AM
:icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl
They will never take me alive
They don't plan on it...the small bag thing is just a trick. ;)

acliff
17-12-2005, 02:13 AM
Catcher in the Rye
Grey's anatomy
lobster eating set

DragonRat
17-12-2005, 08:54 PM
Cradle of Filth's album Nymphetamine
as much Full Throttle as can possibly be carried
a box full of enemas

meegaan1
31-12-2005, 06:50 AM
Nail Gun
Shovel
Bleach

Mr Darcy
31-12-2005, 03:48 PM
Viagra
Condoms
Ice
Wizard Costume
Bag of Chips

Renegade
31-12-2005, 04:45 PM
Lotion
Water
Aqua Velva

Digital_Ice
31-12-2005, 05:16 PM
Viagra
Condoms
Ice
Wizard Costume
Bag of Chips

something tells me you misunderstood the rules.....

Leonie
06-01-2006, 09:31 PM
Expensive wine
Shakespeare For Dummies
Red roses

No tears shampoo
Blood & gore movie
Teddybear

Ranman
06-01-2006, 10:29 PM
A barbeque grill
Barbeque sauce
Take a bar code strip and put it on a baby

Leonie
06-01-2006, 10:46 PM
Condolence card
Pen with pink, sparkly ink
My Little Pony stickers

Ranman
06-01-2006, 11:01 PM
Beach chair
Book of nude beaches
A pair of binoculars

Rob The BLack Douglas
07-01-2006, 03:55 AM
Diapers
Jar of Vasaline
Maxim magazine

Leonie
07-01-2006, 07:34 AM
Period pads
Lots of chocolate
Romantic Comedy DVD

That one should work extremely well if the person at the register is a guy.

Tabrasa
07-01-2006, 01:43 PM
*Actual purchase resulting from phone call from wife*
Cat-litter
Tampons
Ziplock bags

*Another actual purchase resulting from holidays causing wife's birth control to not get refilled. Hence, buy a bunch of different ones honey so we can find something we both like*
12 boxes of assorted types of condoms (The girl at the register gave me one HELL of a look)

Another purchase dealing with a medical issue for a family member. I am told to stop and get an enema kit. I protested to the extreme, but finally had to go get one. I could NOT find it in the store and finally had to go ask the Pharmicist (older Asian lady). With a crowd of seven people in line behind me I leaned forward and whispered "Um Miss, where do I find the enema kits?" She points to shelves, and at the top of her lungs says "ENEMA? OH DEY OVER DERE!!! BOTTOM SHEF!!!"

Tab

Foeni
06-03-2006, 08:44 PM
*BUMP*
Just found this:

Things I like to do at Wal-Mart while my spouse
is taking her sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s
carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares ... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and
pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume
the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And last, but not least!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while;
and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

gogogo!!!!!1one

EmotionSickness
06-03-2006, 10:49 PM
Peanut butter.
Baby oil.
Razors.

michael22
11-03-2006, 09:25 PM
shovel
jumper cabels
george romaros necronomicon and anatomy guide

Mandy
11-03-2006, 09:28 PM
Period pads
Lots of chocolate
Romantic Comedy DVD

That one should work extremely well if the person at the register is a guy.

That's exactly what I bought the other day at a Walgreens, but include 2 bottles of Ibuprofen. hah.

Jacoby
12-03-2006, 12:53 AM
One cuddly puppy
One book entitled "Dummy's Guide to Beastiality with Puppies"
And one pack of trident gum, because that's a good brand of chewing gum.

kingdumbass
14-03-2006, 07:48 AM
100 dollars worth of womens' panties
100 dollars worth of bras
A shotgun

once_dreaded
25-03-2006, 09:00 PM
*if I was a guy*
LARGE black thong underwear
Lacy pink bra, b-cup
Duct tape
Then when at register ask, "Do you think this ensemble will look good on me...oh...the duct tape is for Mr. Gimp"

*girls*
Her pleasure condoms
Large box of AA Batteries
LARGE GI Joe doll
At the register ask, "Do you think Joe is anatomically correct? No? Okay...I guess Mr. Tickle's is going to get a work out tonight."

once_dreaded
27-03-2006, 07:15 AM
OKay...it's been two days...and I have had fun thinking about my next purchases:


Large fan
Enema
Large package of tarps

At the register say, "Y'know...when the sh*t hits the fan it really gets all over the place."

Sorry...couldn't resist...*ugh* I crack myself up!

jack67
13-07-2006, 05:21 PM
Condoms
Lawn fertilizer
Tampons

Just to see their reaction would be priceless, because I'm a GUY!!!!!

Hazzle
14-07-2006, 12:06 AM
Bumping a thread that's 3 months old? Do you WANT to be hated?

Digital_Ice
14-07-2006, 06:39 AM
bit late to be asking that question.

Hazzle
14-07-2006, 07:59 AM
Heh. And so ironic that I should be the one asking it ;)

Ranman
07-09-2006, 08:33 PM
Bump...

Milk
Nestle's quick
A dildo

hasselbrad
07-09-2006, 09:26 PM
axe
tarp
shovel
duct tape

Okay...that's four. Sue me.

Ranman
07-09-2006, 10:03 PM
Three illegal workers with bar codes tatooed on their foreheads

cmrobin21
23-09-2006, 12:53 AM
astroglide, a parking cone and beanie hat with a propeller

Arbery
23-09-2006, 12:19 PM
Knife
Black Bin Bags
Air Freshner

Although, judging by some of the people that work in walmart...they wont have a fucking clue about what your buying...dippy fools

Swordsman
25-09-2006, 08:51 PM
Just be inside a Wal-Mart at midnight, and everything anyone buys freaks the person at the register out.

Keirascabbie
03-05-2007, 04:20 AM
I would try to buy 3 of those bars that separate the customer's items

Hazzle
03-05-2007, 02:25 PM
Arsenal Football club, by the sounds of things...

Porcelain_Doll
03-05-2007, 02:53 PM
hmm...interesting.

The complete series of Charmed on DVD
"Witchcraft for dummies"
A doll
And a box of pins

:icon_bigg

hasselbrad
03-05-2007, 05:20 PM
hmm...interesting.

The complete series of Charmed on DVD
"Witchcraft for dummies"
A doll
And a box of pins

:icon_bigg

That's four things. :p

Porcelain_Doll
03-05-2007, 05:56 PM
sue me.

btw, does your back ache? like, sharp pains and all?

:p

hasselbrad
03-05-2007, 06:02 PM
sue me.

btw, does your back ache? like, sharp pains and all?

:p

It doesn't hurt...it actually feels great! Thanks.
:p

Digital_Ice
03-05-2007, 09:34 PM
Voodoo?

Wheres The Banana?

(And Whats With The Title Case Capitalisation On All My Words?)

Ranman
03-05-2007, 10:02 PM
Baked beans
A lighter
Air freshener

Jacoby
03-05-2007, 10:07 PM
Cucumber,
Apple,
KY Jelly


Ran's last one actually made me laugh out loud. Good job, d00d.

hasselbrad
03-05-2007, 10:10 PM
I really did just try to buy 10 boxes of unlubricated Trojans and a box of Gas-X, but the lines were so long and the cunt-cashier who refused to open the self checkout lines pissed me off, so I went to Target.

BTW...for those who are interested, Target's way cheaper on condoms. I don't know if it's across the board, but we usually pay $4.14 for a dozen. They had 'em for $2.27 per dozen.

Porcelain_Doll
03-05-2007, 10:51 PM
umm....thanks for the info *rolls eyes*

I think some post said something about freaking people out by screaming....I did that. (We couldn't find our dad, so I just yelled DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD. We found him)

And last time I went to buy stuff, I totally freaked people out by dancing...there was this french music on the speakers so I did a little number with the shopping cart. Awesome fun! Especially since I was wearing my uniform :icon_bigg

Hazzle
04-05-2007, 05:33 PM
umm....thanks for the info *rolls eyes*

Brad's providing a service!

Well not to me because:

1) I'm not American
2) It's less than $2, which is less than a pound ;)
3) I'm not needing too many condoms these days :(

Pygmalion
05-05-2007, 09:02 AM
All I'd have to do is buy porn and wink suggestively at the cashier. We're talking about a Wallmart in conservative christian middle America right?

Leonie
05-05-2007, 09:16 AM
A magazine for little girls (think you're "My Little Pony Club" magazine or whatever)
The biggest bag of winegums
Rope

hasselbrad
15-05-2007, 10:14 PM
What are winegums?
They sound like alcoholic gum...which is fucking awesome.

Digital_Ice
16-05-2007, 01:40 AM
Wine gums are chewy, firm sweets similar to gumdrops, except they are not sugar-coated. They are manufactured from animal gelatin, obtained from rendering of bones, mixed with sweetners , flavourings and colourings. They are extremely popular in the United Kingdom, but also in Commonwealth nations such as New Zealand and Canada, and other northern European countries. Popular brands include Maynards and Marks & Spencer. They contain no wine....

hasselbrad
16-05-2007, 03:03 AM
Like Gummi Bears?
Sucks they don't have wine in them. :p

Jacoby
16-05-2007, 04:44 AM
You know what they say:

A winegum without wine is no winegum of mine!

Digital_Ice
16-05-2007, 07:34 AM
a scalpel
a bottle of vodka
a book entitled "cosmetic surgery for dummies"

Ranman
16-05-2007, 12:49 PM
A drill
Lubricant
Life size Barbie doll

hasselbrad
25-05-2007, 01:18 PM
A Bible
A rifle
A map of the city

hasselbrad
25-05-2007, 04:43 PM
A drill
Lubricant
Life size Barbie doll

Dude...you said that once already. :icon_lol:

A gerbil
KY Jelly
Tongs

Digital_Ice
27-06-2007, 01:11 PM
heh... this is my actuall shopping list

Hamster Food
Gaffer Tape
Lighter Fluid

Porcelain_Doll
27-06-2007, 05:03 PM
A Bible
A rifle
A map of the city

I doubt anyone would look at you weird if you bought that...you are American after all. :p

Digital_Ice
27-06-2007, 05:10 PM
...and a republican.

hasselbrad
27-06-2007, 05:17 PM
...and a republican.

For the last fucking time, I'm a...
Libertarian!

How many Republicans do you know who support legalization of drugs? Prostitution?
Pro-choice?

I'd post a pic of my voter registration card if I wasn't sure Randy would appear outside of my window, masturbating within 48 hours.

Ranman
27-06-2007, 05:23 PM
you support Bush, that makes you republican slime, or their puppet.

either case you suck

hasselbrad
27-06-2007, 05:33 PM
you support Bush, that makes you republican slime, or their puppet.

either case you suck

You gargle and then swallow.

leo.nfsdoc
27-06-2007, 06:46 PM
You buy some body lotion, some tissues, and a magazine that focuses mainly on nature (National Geographic, Wildlife, etc.). Walk into wal-mart with sweat all over your forhead (do this by spraying water on your face before walking in). Be sure you seem to be in a hurry, and cranky. Do things hastily. Leave the rest up to the imagination of the clerk.

leo.nfsdoc
27-06-2007, 06:48 PM
For the last fucking time, I'm a...
Libertarian!

How many Republicans do you know who support legalization of drugs? Prostitution?
Pro-choice?

I'd post a pic of my voter registration card if I wasn't sure Randy would appear outside of my window, masturbating within 48 hours.


I deeply apologize for the double post, but I know plenty Republicans who happen to be liberal. You are all confusing the term conservative with republican. They are usually connoted with each other due to the strong conservative issues supported by the republican party. You can be a liberal, even a radical republican. You can just as easily be a conservative, even reactionary democrat.

Just thought I'd toss my two cents in there.

Digital_Ice
28-06-2007, 02:20 AM
I deeply apologize for the double post

then why did you?

leo.nfsdoc
28-06-2007, 04:25 AM
I deeply apologize for the double post, but I know plenty Republicans who happen to be liberal. You are all confusing the term conservative with republican. They are usually connoted with each other due to the strong conservative issues supported by the republican party. You can be a liberal, even a radical republican. You can just as easily be a conservative, even reactionary democrat.

Just thought I'd toss my two cents in there.

then why did you?

To make a political science statement that needed to be said. Don't go around looking for double posts, and telling the authors they're essentially scum because God forbid they posted twice. (edit: I've seen you complain in other threads about this). It's against the rules blah blah yeah mate, but so is spamming. In the "name 3 things youd buy at Wal-Mart to freak out the person at the register" thread, saying "then why did you?" seems to be:

a: too short
b: a waste of 4 words
c: too passive aggressive, being cynical is more fun.

Sorry for the double post, again, but the emphasis/target audience of the two posts were entirely different. A double post seemed the only logical way to convey both thoughts without causing literal confusion, savvy? ;)