PDA

View Full Version : Room/Housemate Funnies


Leonie
31-08-2005, 08:00 PM
Right, so for the sake of anonimity I wont mention any names in the upcoming story, but its just so funny that I have to share.

A housemate of mine, we'll call him A, got a hamster. Now, this hamster, being male, has gigantic balls. I've had heaps of hamsters, male hamsters just happen to have balls that combined make up the size of their heads. My housemate's friend (B) obviously hasn't had hamsters before, and figured she'd google the massive balls to be sure nothing was wrong with him.

She uses my housemate's computer to google the 'problem'. Type 'h' for hamster and what do you find in the drop down menu? Hot boys! Hee. Turns out friend A has been watching loads of gay porn. B told this story to my friend C while they were sitting in the kitchen and A was slowly turning a nice shade of beetroot. A's one of those people who always feel the need to cuddle every girl within reach, so this comes as quite a surprise. I'm also fairly certain A and B have been sleeping together, which adds to the surprise. A also insists that he's straight as an arrow.

Why do I think this is so funny? How ironic is it to be 'caught' watching gay porn because your hamster has bigger balls than you do?! As far as manliness goes, this bloke got beaten by his hamster :icon_razz

Mags
31-08-2005, 08:24 PM
Last year my roommate (19) was dating a 45 year-old man. And couldn't understand her family having a problem with it. And she would complain about it to me, and it was all I could do just to not burst out laughing. Like it's totally normal to be sleeping with someone older than your father.

duckula
31-08-2005, 10:06 PM
Last year I had a housemate called Matthew (link to blog can be given to those who pm). He was a fat, useless, indigent fuck. He embodies, in essence, everything I hate about people (sadly it took living with him to work this out). Hilarious.

Ashley
01-09-2005, 03:35 AM
Why do things like rodents and hamsters have such ginormous balls? Seriously, huge.

Roomies are always a source of amusment... unless they suck.

A gem from my roomie while we both watched Dirty Dancing: "When I was young I didn't know what sex was, but I knew it was Patirck Swayze."

My old roomate fell in love with her adopt-a-soldier... it was fun.

acliff
01-09-2005, 06:22 AM
2 years ago, my rather large friend, being slightly (read terribly obnoxious) one evening while drunk, broke the hinges of my door by aimlessly throwing a fire exinguisher at it. Good times, considering in shared student accomodation with unsecured firedoors in between each block, the chances of something being stolen is almost guaranteed.

A couple of days later, said housemate gets carried home after a night out, having been rohypnol'ed. Being a cheap bastard, it appears that he picked up a random drink while he was pissed thinking that he'd swipe it and have a drink for free. Karmic justice, fucker. Although to be fair, while he doesn't remember a thing, I remember the stuggle of helping to carry his dead weight 16 stone bulk up 2 flights of stairs.
You have to be grateful that he probably stopped a girl from getting raped. But I very much doubt that he had any noble intentions, if in fact any thoughts at all at this point.

More stories when my memory wakes up

Liam
01-09-2005, 07:46 AM
Last year I had a housemate called Matthew (link to blog can be given to those who pm). He was a fat, useless, indigent fuck. He embodies, in essence, everything I hate about people (sadly it took living with him to work this out). Hilarious.

Is that the chap who drove us to the airshow?

duckula
01-09-2005, 09:40 AM
Yes. It went downhill from there.

Liam
01-09-2005, 09:47 AM
I remember him as a rather large, red headed bloke, whom I still owe 20 pounds.

Would it be fair to assume he is a proper slob who eats too much?

duckula
01-09-2005, 10:27 AM
That and more.

Liam
01-09-2005, 10:39 AM
Do tell. Let it all out.

duckula
01-09-2005, 10:54 AM
Ask cliff. I am blinded by rage.

hasselbrad
01-09-2005, 01:01 PM
I had a roommate who bragged about various sexual exploits with several different females. Problem was, most of us were closer to said females than he. We managed to get two of them to bust him publicly...and most embarrassingly.

Oh, and we had a "roommate" who didn't pay any rent. Some bum took up under one of the shithole houses I lived in. He was a hoot, always shitting in the back yard and such.

acliff
01-09-2005, 03:06 PM
That Fat Matt, on our last day as housemates, did the unthinkable.

We were packing everything up in order to move into the new house the following day. Hoovering, tidying etc. Our future housemate Hannah was lovely enough to help us with the cleaning. Because matt is fat and useless and takes up lots of space which could be used for stacking boxes, we assigned him one job.
*sets the scene* - Matt was alone in the house for a month of so, because he hates his parents (because I assume his parents can't stand him, with just cause) and decides to stay in Southampton, the bumhole of Britain. Now he was the only person in the house, and for the life of me I can't understand, he didn't clean one bit. His diet is, as you would expect, shocking. His cooking is even worse. And he smells terrible. Which makes the next bit even more nasty.
He had somehow managed to shit all over the toilet seat and didn't have either the foresight, self awareness, house training, to actually clean it up till we arrived. And the toilet stank as if it had been filled with sewage for the previous 5 weeks.

So the one job that we gave him was to clean that shit up, because understandably we wouldn't clean up his shit. Which he proceeds to ignore until 5 minutes before we leave. I visit to see its status, and come out choking. I shout at him for a while until he goes in there to 'clean'.

Midday the next day, I get a furious call from the landlord, who (although he's a right cunt and has currently stolen 33% of our money) says that the house is in a state. I object, saying we spent ages cleaning, and the landlord says the toilet is full of shit. Which I can't object to because it was like that, and I didn't check after Matt was done. It transpires that all he did was wiped the top, (yes it was on the top) wadded up all the toilet paper, dumped it in the bowl, put the toilet roll cardboard tube in, and then put limescale remover in, thinking something would happen. From the sounds of it, he didn't even flush the fucking thing (although it probably would have flooded).

And from there our tenant - landlord feud started.
All because Matt is too fat to aim properly into a toilet seat.

hasselbrad
01-09-2005, 04:35 PM
He had somehow managed to shit all over the toilet seat and didn't have either the foresight, self awareness, house training, to actually clean it up till we arrived. And the toilet stank as if it had been filled with sewage for the previous 5 weeks.

Like you're own little New Orleans.

acliff
01-09-2005, 04:59 PM
Matt would work pretty well as a flood barrier...

Leonie
01-09-2005, 05:06 PM
Right, here's another story.

One of my housemates recently moved out, and we aren't too sad about it. Said girl would wake us in the middle of the night (3am was normal) with her moaning and sighing, obviously enjoying her time with the boyfriend. She'd wake us at 8am too, after which she and her boyfriend would come down to the kitchen wrapped in a blanket together. Yes, that's just the blanket for the two of them. Did I mention it was a classy leopard print?

Now, you don't understand just how loud she was. She was loud enough to be heard in the kitchen. There is a room between her room and the kitchen. Two walls and two doors. Yet we could hear exactly what a good time she was having while eating our breakfasts in the morning. The girl had sex at least twice a day. I shouldn't fecking know that!

When we finally got over our embarrassment and confronted her, her reply was "Oh, yes *giggle* yeah, some other people told me too." There was no reasoning with her really. Also, her boyfriend loved to wear his hair in two pigtails. That's one on top of his head, and one at the back. Eejit.

Kelsey
01-09-2005, 06:06 PM
I refuse to live with people for these exact reasons.

hasselbrad
01-09-2005, 06:38 PM
I refuse to live with people for these exact reasons.

They can't be trusted.
I knew a kid who lived with his cousin when I was in college. The kid I knew went to school full time and worked at Kinkos, while his cousin was supposed to be in school, but unbeknownst to anyone, had dropped out. Anyway, my friend kept paying his rent at the office every month and the cousin didn't. And, since he wasn't in school, he was always around to snatch the late notices off of the door so my friend wouldn't know what was going on.
One day, he's riding his bike home from work and he notices a shirt on the ground that looks like one of his. He keeps riding until he notices something gold out of the corner of his eye. He looks, and sees it's a weight from a set of barbells. His set of Gold's Gym barbells. Suddenly, he notices that all of this shit in the ditch is his. While he was at school and work, his cousin had packed up and left, leaving his things to be thrown on the curb when the apartment evicted him.

acliff
01-09-2005, 07:07 PM
Right, here's another story.

One of my housemates recently moved out, and we aren't too sad about it. Said girl would wake us in the middle of the night (3am was normal) with her moaning and sighing, obviously enjoying her time with the boyfriend. She'd wake us at 8am too, after which she and her boyfriend would come down to the kitchen wrapped in a blanket together. Yes, that's just the blanket for the two of them. Did I mention it was a classy leopard print?

Now, you don't understand just how loud she was. She was loud enough to be heard in the kitchen. There is a room between her room and the kitchen. Two walls and two doors. Yet we could hear exactly what a good time she was having while eating our breakfasts in the morning. The girl had sex at least twice a day. I shouldn't fecking know that!

When we finally got over our embarrassment and confronted her, her reply was "Oh, yes *giggle* yeah, some other people told me too." There was no reasoning with her really. Also, her boyfriend loved to wear his hair in two pigtails. That's one on top of his head, and one at the back. Eejit.

To be honest though, if one was having sex 2-3 times daily, firstly its quite hard to be discreet, and why would you want to be? :)

And Kels, you're going to Luuuurve college.

Leonie
02-09-2005, 06:27 AM
Perhaps, but should it wake me up in the middle of the night? That's every night? No. Should it be bothering me while I'm having breakfast well away from her room? No. I mean... you obviously don't understand the kind of loud we are talking about. It's... hard to avoid hearing her. People on the 2nd floor have been woken up by her (we're on the ground floor). It's also hard to tell whether she's being murdered or having a good time.

I couldn't care less if she had sex continuously, but I am someone who doesn't wake up very easily because my room is right next to the kitchen *and* the street, so I've learnt to block out the noise. However, she manages to wake me up in the middle of the night, which really takes effort. I pity the person living next to her in her new house :icon_razz

hasselbrad
02-09-2005, 12:39 PM
It's also hard to tell whether she's being murdered or having a good time.

I got a sweater for Christmas.
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
**rimshot**

Liam
02-09-2005, 01:14 PM
I got a sweater for Christmas.
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
**rimshot**

Thats better luck than one of the blokes at work. His wife and kids got him nicotine patches. Best Christmas ever, I'd imagine. He is already sick at the thought of this years 'gift'.

On topic: When I was living in the Netherlands, I stayed in a house with 19 French exchange students. Extreme hilarity ensued.

Kelsey
02-09-2005, 02:12 PM
And Kels, you're going to Luuuurve college.

Thing is, I won*t be living in dorms during college because I have to bring my cat, and I don*t want a roomate. If I get my dream job with the actress, then I can afford to live on my own in L.A. If not, then I don*t know what I*ll do....start looking for someone I won*t hate after an hour.

acliff
02-09-2005, 02:38 PM
Thing is, I won*t be living in dorms during college because I have to bring my cat, and I don*t want a roomate. If I get my dream job with the actress, then I can afford to live on my own in L.A. If not, then I don*t know what I*ll do....start looking for someone I won*t hate after an hour.

Live with someone really really ugly with no social skills. No disturbance there. Maybe a computer gamer into MMORPGs. Anyone who plays WoW post applications below.

(If you know what the acronyms mean, you're automatically in aformentioned group)

marine
02-09-2005, 02:56 PM
Thats better luck than one of the blokes at work. His wife and kids got him nicotine patches. Best Christmas ever, I'd imagine. He is already sick at the thought of this years 'gift'.

On topic: When I was living in the Netherlands, I stayed in a house with 19 French exchange students. Extreme hilarity ensued.

exemples, please?

Kelsey
03-09-2005, 10:11 AM
If they sit on their ass all day without doing anything, that would bug me. I had an almost-stepsister like that. Would lay on the couch all day being dumbed down by Cartoon Network, drinking Pepsi out of the two-liter bottle.

Alendor
03-09-2005, 11:15 AM
It seems that I have something to look forward to next year. I'm taking a year off at the moment. So next fall it will be European film college, university or something third that will suddenly appear for me. The first two will probably include me having room-mates :err:
But I survived two sexual active friends(who were dating eachother) hwen I had to spend a week with them in Norway. But then again I delibaterely avoided their room when I saw that the door was closed and she was quiet..............he wasn't.

acliff
03-09-2005, 11:15 AM
If they sit on their ass all day without doing anything, that would bug me. I had an almost-stepsister like that. Would lay on the couch all day being dumbed down by Cartoon Network, drinking Pepsi out of the two-liter bottle.

Sounds very much like heaven to me...

hasselbrad
03-09-2005, 02:32 PM
Sounds very much like heaven to me...

Damn Cliff, you should move to Appalachia, get a single wide and a great big satellite dish. You'd fit right in.

Neras
03-09-2005, 10:27 PM
It seems that I have something to look forward to next year.

I have to say that not all accommodation is like that. My first year at uni was fine. The guy in the flat next to me never showed any interest in sex at all, and the guy next to him had a long-distance girlfriend, so they were hardly ever together.

qzx00
04-09-2005, 04:09 AM
Luckilly I've never had the loud roommate but mine was just as bad. I was constantly coming home to them going at it on the coffee table, out on the deck, on the kitchen counter, they just didn't care. So just when you thought it was bad hearing your roommate, try seeing them.

Kelsey
04-09-2005, 03:19 PM
Damn Cliff, you should move to Appalachia, get a single wide and a great big satellite dish. You'd fit right in.

Oooh, gross.

*Hick.*
*We prefer Appalachian-American.*

acliff
06-09-2005, 10:17 AM
Story number 2: The Dressing-gown of Doom

This aformentioned housemate of horror(tm) was a sloth. He tried to hide it, but he was basically ginger. We found out in a pretty horrible way...

The story begins when we first start living as a group. After bickerings about food, partially due to HoH's complete lack of taste, failed shopping trips, horribly cokked dinners, and me and Duckula's fairly refined eating habits, we decided not to cook together. Around about that time, we began to notice that HoH seemed to be always wearing his dressing gown.
He didn't go to lectures, he didn't do any work, he just went out in the evenings, adding to his considerable bulk in alcohol fat, slept till 4pm, and roamed around the house in this goddamn dressing gown for a couple of hours, before going to the 'dungeon' a rock club which was about as dirty as the name suggests.

Now we did not ONCE see him wash this dressing gown. Confirmed by the fact that it started stinking really really bad. Considering he went to the bog in it, I have the sneaky suspicion that he wipes his arse on it. It certainly smells like he has. He went to the shower with it, he came out the shower with it, he cooked in it, he sat on the sofa in it...

After a while, there was only so much I could cope with, and I told him to wash it, or we would burn it. To show how incredibly lazy he was, he didn't actually wash it, instead he stopped wearing it. Which, you might think, is a bonus. Very unforunately for us, that meant that he came out the shower topless. I will never be able to burn those images from my brain. A great big folded red mass of spots and fat, with ginger tufts. *shiver*

Anyways I thank christ I wasn't the one who walked in on him jerking off...

duckula
06-09-2005, 11:38 AM
For the record, I wasn't the poor unfortunate mentioned above (thank all that is holy).

hasselbrad
06-09-2005, 01:22 PM
My first roommate slept in his tighty whities and never washed his sheets. By the end of the semester, his sheets looked like a giant pair of his underwear with an enormous skid mark.
Another roommate of mine finally broke down and took his laundry to a laundromat near campus that washed, dried and folded your clothes for $0.50 a pound. (God, what a bargain!) The sweet little old lady that worked there asked me about him. She said his bill was over $200 and that many of the shirts were still pinned. This is the same roommate whose method of moving out consisted of taking all of the things he really wanted out and then kicking everything else into the middle of the room in a trash pile...which often included clothes...and reeked of spilled bongwater.

meegaan1
18-09-2005, 04:42 AM
Well, this just happened to me today, and I thought of this thread.
I wake up this morning and go to the bathroom to do my business. I flip the toilet seat up and find it full to the brim with water and a turd. It wasn't me, so of course, must've been one of the other occupants. I search for the plunger and can't find it, so I leave it till and I can find the plunger, and go to do errands for a few hours.
I come back later, find the plunger in the basement, and plunge the toilet. Water gets all over the floor, so I clean that up and disinfect that with some 409, and then pick up the towles to go and wash them in the basement.
I walk into the washroom and find half of it covered in water, so now I have to mop all that up. I have to use a comforter and ten towels to soak up all the water.

Neras
18-09-2005, 11:50 PM
I have my own bathroom this year. Definitely has its benefits... :p

meegaan1
24-09-2005, 05:01 AM
I have another one. Yes, I'm a nerd and have no life. This didn't happen to me, but it happened to my sister. We'll call my brother-in-law Bob.
The night before their wedding, my sister and now brother-in-law are in Las Vegas, and they both go to a stripper club and do some heavy drinking. When they get back to Bob's brother's apartment, Bob pukes on my sister's dog and then passes out.
I love my brother-in-law.
I have my own bathroom this year. Definitely has its benefits... :p
Thank you for mocking me. :p

Neras
24-09-2005, 09:42 AM
I felt that it needed to be done... :D

This year I have a flatmate who has no idea what the term 'volume' means... :( He puts his music (rap, hip hop, etc) on at stupid times at full volume. I've asked him to keep it down, but he just ignores me. So now, whenever he puts his music on, I deafen myself by using my PC to play Metallica at full volume.

He's either going to keep his volume down or attack me soon. I'm not sure which...

Leonie
25-09-2005, 05:13 PM
I felt that it needed to be done... :D

This year I have a flatmate who has no idea what the term 'volume' means... :( He puts his music (rap, hip hop, etc) on at stupid times at full volume. I've asked him to keep it down, but he just ignores me. So now, whenever he puts his music on, I deafen myself by using my PC to play Metallica at full volume.

He's either going to keep his volume down or attack me soon. I'm not sure which...
Oh, I have audio battles all the time. Best bit being that my little speakers make as much noise as the ones he spent a fortune on. Win.

Bloke nextdoor from me likes to play all sorts of random music at all sorts of random hours of the day, preferably with both the frontdoor and the door that leads into the hallway inside wide open. This is were playing Sunburn at obscene volumes comes in. There's no beating that and he knows it. He generally turns it down after a 'subtle' hint like that.

Neras
26-09-2005, 11:13 AM
Yeah, my flatmate goes on and on about his 'system', and how good it is... My tiny little PC speakers can drown it out, so I'm happy. He isn't, but that doesn't bother me. :D

Leonie
25-08-2008, 09:27 PM
Bumping my own thread, because I can.

I have a new housemate who has an absolutely terrible taste in decorations, but this doesn't bother me at all because I'm going home in a few days.

She did provide me with the one and only utterance of the following sentence that I will ever hear in my life.

Sitting in front of her computer, watching YouTube, she goes "I'm watching a wedding."

I said "aww." I felt like saying "Hmmm, I won't spoil the ending for you then."

duckula
25-08-2008, 09:30 PM
Here's a funny one for all y'all. Early this year one of my housemates held a knife to the throat of another housemate. Admittedly that isn't funny, but seeing about 8 policemen bundle into my house and arrest him was.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 09:43 PM
Holy shit, I thought I lived in a crappy neighbourhood. Don't think that one's happened yet. Did he get charged?

michael22
25-08-2008, 09:51 PM
This really makes me look forward to University.

duckula
25-08-2008, 09:59 PM
Holy shit, I thought I lived in a crappy neighbourhood. Don't think that one's happened yet. Did he get charged?

He got cautioned. It certainly made the next 6 weeks awkward.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 10:04 PM
I assume you never stressed that it was his turn to vacuum the living room after that?

This really makes me look forward to University.

Ha! I am almost out, kid. Three more days until my parents come over. Six more days until I go home. Fourteen days till the dissertation due date.

Victory.

Unless I fail of course. Which is likely.

duckula
25-08-2008, 10:06 PM
Pretty much. It didn't stop the housemate who was held at knife point from having other arguments with him. She is slightly crazy though.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 10:10 PM
Maybe she had PMS at the time. Stabbing tends not to be a problem at that time of the month.

duckula
25-08-2008, 10:11 PM
She was drunk at the time, that might have helped. She can't hold her liquor, that's for damn sure.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 10:13 PM
Should have offered to drink it for her, to prevent further aggravated assault. Just being a good citizen. *hiccup*

duckula
25-08-2008, 10:18 PM
I was just an innocent bystander. All I wanted was to watch the Bear Grylls tv program in peace, but nooooooo, my housemate has to go crazy and force me to disarm him. If I hadn't seen the program before I might have been really ticked off.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 10:23 PM
I was just an innocent bystander. All I wanted was to watch the Bear Grylls tv program in peace, but nooooooo, my housemate has to go crazy and force me to disarm him. If I hadn't seen the program before I might have been really ticked off.

Was it the one where he drinks from elephant dung? Or was it naked calisthenics?

I'd hate for housemates to get in the way of naked Bear Grylls calisthenics, but then I am female like that.

duckula
25-08-2008, 10:31 PM
It was the one where him and his posh mate try and fly over Everest with a paramotor. It's a pretty cool one, I think it was a stand alone thing though.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 10:38 PM
Yeah, I vaguely remember hearing about that one. Didn't really register, because.. not naked or eating raw zebra meat torn straight off the dead animal or doing anything otherwise incredibly manly. Although he did get his kit off on the antarctic continent originally, so Everest had potential.

When I get a chance (i.e. when my housemate isn't downstairs), I will take a photo of her attempts to "make this place a home". I kid you not. Faux-satin ruffled couch cover. Fake plastic purple flowers. The mind boggles.

duckula
25-08-2008, 10:42 PM
Blimey, that all sounds a bit much.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 10:43 PM
We also have a 70s-style mustard yellow orange toaster and matching toastie maker now. This woman amuses me because I only have to put up with it for a short amount of time. I might be tempted to pick up a knife if it were a year long affair.

duckula
25-08-2008, 10:48 PM
That sounds practically criminal.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 10:56 PM
Wait till you see photos. It's funny in the way that falling flat on one's face is - hilarious if it's not you. I have rarely seen more ugly objects, including half-naked past housemates.

duckula
25-08-2008, 10:59 PM
This I have to see.

Mandy
25-08-2008, 11:06 PM
I used to live with a gay guy in my old town in a trailer (in a trailer park, haha). For some reason, the Mormons FLOCKED to that area. We always saw them riding 'round on their bicycles in their black suit jackets in the summertime. They kept coming to our house and leaving pamphlets and shit, so we decided to get them to leave us alone.

My roomate then proceeded to answer the door in a towel and "accidentally" drop it. He turned around to bend over and pick it up. We never saw them again, haha.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 11:19 PM
Here we go.

C-ouch:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v116/leonietje/couch.jpg

We went from a perfectly acceptable greyish blue cover (like the cushions) to this dark blue, shiny monstrosity. Where does one buy these things anyway?

Tablecloth:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v116/leonietje/tablecloth.jpg

This is actually more like a mosquito net. Apparently it's a curtain, but she decided she liked it as a tablecloth. Again - why?


She hasn't so much made the place look homey, more like... I think the word I'm looking for is "insane".

PS. Flowers are a lot more purple and fake without flash photography. Note the stray red one.

duckula
25-08-2008, 11:26 PM
That couch looks like some kind of massive fungal growth. The overall effect is as terrifying as you suggested.

Leonie
25-08-2008, 11:30 PM
It looks like what Britney Spears' next wedding gown might look like.

Joly
26-08-2008, 10:23 AM
I'm more concerned about that strange door handle :|

hasselbrad
26-08-2008, 01:27 PM
The couch looks like something out of an Austin Powers movie. Or a brothel.
One of my roommates pissed in another roommate's purple acrylic bong which he had the annoying habit of calling "Barney".
No knifeplay though.

Leonie
26-08-2008, 02:42 PM
I'm more concerned about that strange door handle :|

It's got some weird archaic lock on it, must have been a front door in a past life. My house is weird. Thankfully, I am escaping this week.

michael22
06-05-2010, 04:40 AM
Have you guys lived through the shower rug made from both of your housemate's hair that they refuse to clean for over a week?

Hazzle
06-05-2010, 07:54 AM
Nice.

angelababy
08-11-2010, 01:45 AM
I had a roommate who bragged about various sexual exploits with several different females. Problem was, most of us were closer to said females than he.

michael22
07-01-2011, 02:55 AM
My landlord broke up with his girl friend on new years eve while I was away over the holidays. The girlfriend owned the toaster, microwave, shower curtain, couch, the two tables, the cutlery, the pots and pans (minus my sweet cast=iron one) the cooking utensils (can openers, spatulas etc.) shelves and she managed to break the door handle before she left.

I recieved no warning or notice of this so I came back from holidays to find a vastly underfurnished place, uncomfortable but workable. That same night my landlord decided to bake paint onto his friends muffler which melted the oven and ruined the stove top. So now other than stealing plastic cutlery from uni I can no longer heat any food.

So tonight I came up with an alternative since I can not afford to eat out every night. I placed water and rice in a steel bowl covered it with tinfoil and ventured out in the cold. My goal was to find a public bbq stand in the park and enough dead fall to make a servicaeable fire. Thusly I succeeded and had enough water left over to make hot chocolate.

Now if only I could get him to stop having parties on weeknights that fo on past three am.