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View Full Version : Porn - Mankind's Greatest Achievement?


duckula
09-07-2004, 12:38 AM
It is my position that the pinacle of human creation is pornography in all its marvelous guises*. Share your thoughts.

*Not kiddy porn, that shit is just wrong.

apoggy
09-07-2004, 12:41 AM
so duckula doesnt mind beastiality, interesting

duckula
09-07-2004, 12:43 AM
That's not porn, that's a nature program.

Mandy
09-07-2004, 12:48 AM
Is this where we post our porn?

duckula
09-07-2004, 12:51 AM
Yes. Several rules.

1. Nothing illegal.

2. No trolls.

3. I am not responsible if you get banned for posting it.

Hazzle
09-07-2004, 01:04 AM
As always...a wonderful insight from Ducky :)

DragonRat
09-07-2004, 01:07 AM
That reminds me of one the episodes of Coupling, in which Steve manages to re-enact the entire history of male civilization, in the ultimate quest to get booty.

And if porn were to be mankind's greatest achievement, I think we still have much further to go. Honestly, at one point or another, we're bound to have virtual reality machines that give us our every single facet of fantasy available. Unfortunately, it would be hard to believe that high-profile celebrities would endorse their own naked images for the purpose of virtual pleasure. Of course, adult film stars make it their business to do so.

I'll start off with nothing raunchy (I'll see how the snowball rolls), but a picture of whom I believe to be the prettiest adult film star out there: Monique Alexander.

http://galleries.babes.tv/monique/big/02.jpg

duckula
09-07-2004, 01:08 AM
I'd like to get insight of keira, if you know what I mean. ;)

To stop this from being a spam post I would like to point out that porn films have some of the most plausible plots in modern cinema.

DragonRat
09-07-2004, 01:29 AM
Depends on the level of budget those films have. At some point, those who buy adult films for the class and quality of filmmaking have some sort of problem. The whole point of watching adult films is to see people go at it (whether with themselves or with others). Some directors, like Michael Ninn and Andrew Blake, pride themselves in using slow-motion capture scenes - a far cry from the gonzo films of Seymour Butts and others. But, no matter what kind of directing approach you take to the adult film industry, in many ways it will sell...of course, depending on the actresses you use, and/or the level of hardcore, at which you film.

Mayhaps this makes me seem like a real perv, but the adult film industry is just like Hollywood or Bollywood. There are genres, there are big names, and there are different ways of making money.

Pygmalion
09-07-2004, 02:20 AM
Me and a friend of mine found a website fluffertrax.com which, as the name suggests, houses porn music. I think the music used in porn films is AWESOME! The wacca wacca bass....but it doesn't really have a genre, so its just "porn music".
I think the names of some porn films are great. Stufflike "Wide Eyed Sluts" And "when Harry Tossed Salad" They make me laugh.

Kyle_West
09-07-2004, 03:13 AM
two things.

1) XXX LOLITA!......wow so wrong

2) Who needs porn when you have jackie chan movies?

DefyingGravity
09-07-2004, 04:30 AM
Porn titles are rather amusing, aren't they, Pygmalion? That one Paris Hilton sex tape was released on DVD--the name is "A Night in Paris." If that's not brilliant, I don't know what is. :rolleyes:

Kelsey
09-07-2004, 06:18 AM
Since I don't care about porn, all I have to add to this thread is this list of porn titles based on legit movies.
6 Lays, 7 Nights
As Good as Head Gets
Ass Ventura: The Crack Detective
The Beaverly Hillbillies
Bonfire of the Panties
Buffy the Vampire Layer
Cape Rear
Cliffbanger
A Clockwork Orgy
Done in 60 Seconds
Driving Miss Daisy Crazy
Dumb and Done Her
Edward Penishands
E-Three: The Extra Testicle
Lust in Translation
Face Jam
The Flintbones
For Your Thighs Only
Forrest Hump
Free My Willy
Doctor Do Me a Little
Glad He Ate Her
Good Will Humping
Hannah Does Her Sisters
Inspect Her Gadget
Jurassic Pork
A League of Their Moan
On Golden Blonde
Pocahontass
Porn on the 4th of July
Position: Impossible
Romancing the Bone
Saving Ryan's Privates
Schindler's Fist
Snatch Adams
There's Someone on Mary
There Were 13 Men, But They Weren't Angry
The Three Musket Queers
Was That As Good As it Gets?
White Men Can't Hump
Who's Eating Gilbert Grape?
You Have Male

And before anyone says anything, I got this list from a movie book and an episode of Friends, I don't just sit around thinking of them :)

DefyingGravity
09-07-2004, 06:23 AM
I laughed out loud at the Gilbert Grape one.

Moe
09-07-2004, 09:32 AM
And before anyone says anything, I got this list from a movie book and an episode of Friends,
I was gonna say, a lot of those titles did sound awfully familiar. The episode where Chandler and Joey get free porn by mistake, IIRC. You forgot "In & Out & In Again".

apoggy
09-07-2004, 11:21 AM
Cliffbanger



that made me laugh :D

Vertical Vortex
09-07-2004, 11:23 AM
Glad He Ate Her is really good ;)
but allready knew that one :)

ryan
09-07-2004, 11:56 AM
Stop lying Kelsey. We all know you're a porn fiend. Saucy minx.

deviljet88
09-07-2004, 12:28 PM
There Were 13 Men, But They Weren't Angry

I don't get that one... I thought it was Twelve Angry Men (play/book/movie). That's what they're playing at right?

gracie
09-07-2004, 02:59 PM
porn rocks. when i get my old computer back ill dig some out of my storage

ryan
09-07-2004, 03:58 PM
porn is wonderful, yes.
especially when watched by couples.

Sarah
09-07-2004, 06:37 PM
I've never actually seen any porn. Does that make me weird?

Hazzle
10-07-2004, 12:43 AM
I've never actually seen any porn. Does that make me weird?

No...neither have I...honest...no...really...what do you mean what's that on my hard drive? Ack... :eek:

Oh...and Cliffbanger...classic...didn't know our Cliff was an adult film star ;)

Renegade
10-07-2004, 09:40 PM
Video porn owns.

Online porn sucks. Endless pop-ups :mad:

DragonRat
11-07-2004, 06:11 AM
I'd have to agree with you, Renegade. However, that still doesn't make it any cleaner. :P

Hazzle
11-07-2004, 05:36 PM
I'd have to agree with you, Renegade. However, that still doesn't make it any cleaner. :P

I'm thinking that's a vacuum cleaner pun...but it's not exactly clear :D

deviljet88
12-07-2004, 12:46 AM
I'm thinking that's a vacuum cleaner pun...but it's not exactly clear :D
A vacuum cleaner pun? Care to explain Hazzle? That was way too subtle...

DragonRat
12-07-2004, 01:09 AM
Bad pun, man. I didn't even think of that, and it would've required my use of an article 'a' instead of 'any'. Twisted...simply twisted.

Richard
12-07-2004, 04:15 AM
I've seen a few in my time. "Taboo"... no wait, "Deepthroat"... anyone...

Hazzle
12-07-2004, 10:33 PM
Bad pun, man. I didn't even think of that, and it would've required my use of an article 'a' instead of 'any'. Twisted...simply twisted.

Heh...you loved it really...and for Jet...the pun...Online Porn Sucks...doesn't make it any cleaner...sucks...cleaner...vacuum...seemed a simple jump to me. Especially given how many men turn up at A&E departments with vacuum cleaner nozzles on their todgers.

DragonRat
12-07-2004, 11:47 PM
That reminds me of a little-known fact. Adult film actress Briana Banks is known for her lack of a gag reflex. I'll leave you to ponder that thought.

Hazzle
13-07-2004, 12:32 AM
That reminds me of a little-known fact. Adult film actress Briana Banks is known for her lack of a gag reflex. I'll leave you to ponder that thought.

I wouldn't say "little-known"...I knew that...oops :o Nuh uh...never watched porn...in my life...Brianna WHO?!

acliff
13-07-2004, 01:10 AM
The film Gladiator was above par. It even had terrible dubbing!! How could you go wrong.

Liam
13-07-2004, 11:18 AM
porn rocks. when i get my old computer back ill dig some out of my storage

Just as long as you keep our videos private. I see no need to share the love with the rest of KKW.

gracie
13-07-2004, 03:20 PM
but i could make money. dont you want me to be able to pay for my education.

apoggy
13-07-2004, 03:30 PM
You'd make more money off of your solo stuff, who in their right minds would pay to see Liam?

gracie
14-07-2004, 02:46 PM
haha but what about respect

DragonRat
14-07-2004, 11:33 PM
As long as you respect yourself enough, then who cares what others think, eh? :P Bring on the dark-lit, barely visible video.

Hazzle
14-07-2004, 11:43 PM
haha but what about respect

Uh oh...take cover...World War III is about to start...we've been through this discussion in IRC and there were corpses EVERYWHERE.

Spire
15-07-2004, 01:02 AM
haha but what about respect

:D

So much death...

Mags
16-07-2004, 06:10 AM
I declare. 70s 3D porn be best. That's right...porn...in 3D. Now, one would question my knowledge of this, but it is all due to a wonderfully pornographic film made in (I believe) the 70s filmed with that fun 3D effect so technologically advanced at the time. The movie is called something like...Lollipop Girls and Hard Candy, and it's basically just porn...in 3D. 3D...finishes...are hilarious. Anyway, this delightful picture was playing at one of our independent theatre's "midnight movies" a few weeks ago and I went with some friends.


Excellent.

KRev
23-07-2004, 04:33 AM
Me likey females.

I think I have a stomach fetish. I blame Keira...

http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v245/KeiraRevolution/Keira/Avatar4.jpg http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v245/KeiraRevolution/Keira/avatar2.jpg http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v245/KeiraRevolution/Keira/Avatar_E.jpg http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v245/KeiraRevolution/Keira/Avatar_D.jpg http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v245/KeiraRevolution/Keira/Avatar_C.jpg http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v245/KeiraRevolution/Keira/Avatar_B.jpg http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v245/KeiraRevolution/Keira/Avatar_A.jpg

And they work as avatars! Enjoy.