PDA

View Full Version : What IF?


Pages : [1] 2

MikeKnick04
06-01-2005, 04:03 AM
Cool Idea for those of us bored with our lives...MikeKnick04 please stand up
Right well, I think people should post What IF's? and have people quote them and answer the question.
Just something to do with our boring azz lives.

Rules {I guess}
1. Can be anything I suppose, but KK oriented would be nice
2. One Response at a time, not one post flooded with answers.
Pick the question you want to answer.Quote. Post. Repeat
3. Thats it for now. Try to just quote the question.

Me first:

What if Keira called you RIGHT NOW! and asked you to meet her in LA in eight hours? What would you do?

imagination remember, we all can dream if we want to...

SimplyKnightley
06-01-2005, 05:06 AM
What if Keira called you RIGHT NOW! and asked you to meet her in LA in eight hours? What would you do?

I'd say,"Sorry darling, i can't get to LA in just eight hours from where i am."

Then go kill myself :banghead: *yah rite*


WHAT IF Keira agreed to go on a date with you, how would you plan it?

Dionysus
06-01-2005, 05:45 AM
What if Keira called you RIGHT NOW! and asked you to meet her in LA in eight hours? What would you do?

well, i'm on the net so she couldn't get through LOL


WHAT IF Keira agreed to go on a date with you, how would you plan it?
it would have to be crappy hospital food, coz i'd be in intensive care, recovering from a heart attack

my question
what would you do if you were an extra on POTC 2 and on a break Keira sat down next to you?

Narg
06-01-2005, 09:29 AM
what would you do if you were an extra on POTC 2 and on a break Keira sat down next to you?

Squeel like a nearvous school girl, or perhaps controll my self and have a normal conversation with her, then at the end, freak her out by telling her exactly how i feel about her.

What would you do if you and keira were stuck in an elevator and it was going to colaspe in 30mins, and there was no wait out, and you were assured death... ill answer this one aswell
"keira, make me a man, as many times as you can, for the love of god, please please please."

deviljet88
06-01-2005, 11:46 AM
OK then narg... I'll just make a new one...

What if Keira was about to slice your throat?

Dionysus
06-01-2005, 02:08 PM
id run away

your walking down the street minding your own business when WHAM!! a car knocks you down, you shake yourself off and are not too injured (a few cuts and bruises, dont have a winge) you're just about to let the driver have it when out of the car pops keira saying how sorry she is and asking if your ok and if you need anything etc

frodo1511
06-01-2005, 02:28 PM
your walking down the street minding your own business when WHAM!! a car knocks you down, you shake yourself off and are not too injured (a few cuts and bruises, dont have a winge) you're just about to let the driver have it when out of the car pops keira saying how sorry she is and asking if your ok and if you need anything etc

I'd put her in jail, and sue her for all her possessions, mainly because I'd accuse her of having opium in her purse, as well as a couple needles full of a low-grade bever tranq.

What if...

Keira needed a place to stay for the night, and she asked you at your house?

Dionysus
06-01-2005, 02:40 PM
What if...

Keira needed a place to stay for the night, and she asked you at your house?

*remebers love actually*

"sure you can stay keira, but im not the richest of guys, i only have 1 bed, no couch, and i cant afford pyjamas... so i would be naked" :D

MikeKnick04
06-01-2005, 03:16 PM
What if Keira was about to slice your throat?

That is a toughie but I'll try.
I would probably grab her azz and squeeze, then she'd spill my blood and I would give here a hug and kiss as I pass out from blood loss. Then I'd cry myself to death.

What IF?
You overheard Jamie talk about cheating on Keira?

barrington
06-01-2005, 03:21 PM
I hope to god Keira never sees this thread. You lot really really scare me sometimes.

MikeKnick04
06-01-2005, 03:27 PM
I hope she does...
but.. there we go...
What IF?
Keira Knightley herself started posting on her?
What would the Admin do to stop the people from scaring her away?
What could we type back?

FooTM
06-01-2005, 03:29 PM
What would the Admin do to stop the people from scaring her away?


duckula would probably go on a 3 day-ban rampage.

MikeKnick04
06-01-2005, 10:19 PM
What IF:
Keira moved to your state/town/city?

Ranman
06-01-2005, 10:32 PM
What if I could stick out my tongue and wipe my eyebrows with it

You think Keira would date me

Narg
07-01-2005, 12:38 AM
No idea. But i would, fuck yes.

What if somehow your 'nonomummydaddyspot' caught on fire ?

Jacoby
07-01-2005, 01:00 AM
It can only be extinguished with human spit.

Where's Jet?

deviljet88
07-01-2005, 01:09 AM
Here... What's it to do with me?

Narg
07-01-2005, 02:31 AM
Your incredibly sexy.

What would you do if you were walking along the street and someone ran up to you and quickly smeared poo all over your lips and ran away ?

Jacoby
07-01-2005, 02:32 AM
Your incredibly sexy.

What would you do if you were walking along the street and someone ran up to you and quickly smeared poo all over your lips and ran away ?

I'd probably call them silly, and start laughing because I just embarassed them infront of the ENTIRE street.

What would you do if your computer microphone is stuck up your arse? No, seriously, it won't come out.

MikeKnick04
07-01-2005, 02:53 AM
Gayness reaches a new height in KK forums
Someone put this mo-fo thread on lock down

meegaan1
07-01-2005, 03:52 AM
What would you do if your computer microphone is stuck up your arse? No, seriously, it won't come out.
Drink a bunch of Ex-lax, and if that doesn't work, records me pooing it out.
What if you woke up and found Keira staring at you with huge, yellow eyes?

Dionysus
07-01-2005, 04:00 AM
meh, i get to wake up next to her, the rest is just a detail

what if you found out that keira was actually KEN who had a sex change at the age of 7, and s/he still had the package

MikeKnick04
07-01-2005, 04:50 AM
I would put a bullet in my head.

What IF?
You wasted your life away thinking you were gonna meet KK someday, and then never did? Would stop going to the forums?

SimplyKnightley
07-01-2005, 04:51 AM
what if you found out that keira was actually KEN who had a sex change at the age of 7, and s/he still had the package

i'd morph into Barbie and together we live happily ever after

Dionysus
07-01-2005, 05:16 AM
What IF?
You wasted your life away thinking you were gonna meet KK someday, and then never did? Would stop going to the forums?

well i dont have to worry about that, coz we're gonna meet, fall in love and get married and have lots and lots of babies.... and shit
LOL :icon_razz

ok, your in a club/pub and keira walks in, alone
what you gonna do?

MikeKnick04
07-01-2005, 05:26 AM
ok, your in a club/pub and keira walks in, alone
what you gonna do?
That would be the best possibility ever.
Watch BILB and if she came in like that, I would be all over her...
drinks, dancing, kissing, take home and finish, then hope she would continue relationship

What IF?
You could call up POTC and be an extra. What would you do?

Jacoby
07-01-2005, 07:12 PM
You could call up POTC and be an extra. What would you do?

OMG I WOULD KISS KEIRA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE LOL LIKE THAT CAN HAPPEN OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IM SAYING THIS (WELL TYPING [LOL]) AND THEN I WOULD LOOK AT ORLI AND JOHNNY IN THE SHOWER AND SEE IF THE RUMORS ARE TRUEEE!!!!!!!

Narg, what IF... a wolverine were to walk into your home, on it's hind legs, and say, "Nargathon, I'm going to chew your balls off...". What would you do?

Narg
08-01-2005, 12:39 AM
Pull down my pants, Grease my balls, and slam them down the wolves throat, whils screaming "Please sirz, can i have some morez."

Jacoby, What if you woke up in bed, and had a drip on, looked at your watch and realised you have been asleep for 2 days, tried to move, but u were tied down, you then realise there are large amounts of semen on your face, lips, and basically your entire body. You start to shriek for help, and a monkey wanders in, stands above your bed, and starts to relieve himself sexually. ?

Jacoby
08-01-2005, 03:04 AM
I'd yell, "My birthday is next Monday!"

Monkeys make me smile.

Narg. Let me ask you something. What if you were having one of your nude driving trips and you got out and slammed the door shut too fast and caught your testicles, not the penis, in the door?...And the door automatically locked and the keys are inside. WTF DO YOU DO?!

Narg
08-01-2005, 04:14 AM
Simple, i would jump as high as i could, and let my body just flop, motionless, untill i hit the road, suspended by my balls, swinging ever so slightley in the winter breeze, moaning in sheer excstasy of the delightfull warm blood caressing my theighs, then i would pull my pud, pain gets me going.

How about you ?

Jacoby
08-01-2005, 04:16 AM
Simple, i would jump as high as i could, and let my body just flop, motionless, untill i hit the road, suspended by my balls, swinging ever so slightley in the winter breeze, moaning in sheer excstasy of the delightfull warm blood caressing my theighs, then i would pull my pud, pain gets me going.

How about you ?

Jesus, I would have just cut them off. You win.

I got one. What if Keira asked for Diet Cola but you got her regular?!

meegaan1
08-01-2005, 07:56 AM
I'd grovel before here, ask for her forgiveness, then hang myself with my own shoe-lace.
What if you hit Keira with a moped? What would you do?

deviljet88
08-01-2005, 11:52 AM
Laugh. Why else would you hit Keira with a moped.

What if Keira was a mosquito and bit you, and created a huge lump on your face?

frodo1511
08-01-2005, 05:52 PM
What if Keira was a mosquito and bit you, and created a huge lump on your face?

I'd go on a crusade to find the little bastard, and tear her wings off.

What if keria was bisexual?

MikeKnick04
08-01-2005, 06:15 PM
What if keria was bisexual?

Right, well I would move into her flat with her six girlfriends. Then I woud use KK as bait to attract some hot ladies. yeehaaw :icon_spam

What if Keira wanted to have sex, not with you, but your best friend...in your bed? :icon_spam

antjl2020
08-01-2005, 07:31 PM
What if Keira wanted to have sex, not with you, but your best friend...in your bed? :icon_spam


id pretend to be my own best friend by pretending to be a bit strange in the head and get 6 whole days and nights of sympathy sex,

What if: you were driving down the motorway and hit a badger, got out the car realised that the badger was an alien emisarie from the planet KK and was looking for you to take you to his home planet to use as an experiment to see if you can really stick your head in your ass but before that you got to have sex with the entire population of planet KK (6 billion)?

Mags
08-01-2005, 08:10 PM
Ok, first of all, spelling. Live it, learn it, love it.

Second of all...I agree with Baz. If Keira ever does lurk on this forum (which has been suggested in the past), or even more likely, if her MOTHER does (which I think has actually been stated at one point in a letter to Paul) she's going to freak her shit out.

This is just plain creepy.

MikeKnick04
08-01-2005, 08:18 PM
Well if Keira and/or her mom give me sh!t about my posting...
I swear to God I'll kick both their arses...hey that's a good one...

What IF?
You saw MikeKnick04 kicking KK's arse in the middle of Central Park?:icon_razz
not that I would mind you, these R 'what if's'

Liam
08-01-2005, 10:52 PM
As funny as I found this thread (gg Narg) in the beginning - like Mags said, its creepy shit.

Stop with the wierd posts, or its locked.

Narg
09-01-2005, 01:40 AM
Yes, MikeKnick04 is fucked in the head.

deviljet88
09-01-2005, 01:44 AM
Yes, MikeKnick04 is fucked in the head.
What if MikeKnick04 was fucked in the head by Keira?

frodo1511
09-01-2005, 01:47 AM
first, define the word "fucked" for me, Jet

I'd imagine he would die a horrible death.

Dionysus
09-01-2005, 02:11 PM
If Keira ever does lurk on this forum (which has been suggested in the past), or even more likely, if her MOTHER does (which I think has actually been stated at one point in a letter to Paul) she's going to freak her shit out.

Incase your right

Hi Keira or Keiras mum or Keiras friend or whoever
how are you, i'm fine, now i may have said some rather strange things but i'm not that perculiar really, i've only ever made a lifesize replica of keira from meat from the butcher shop and human hair twice, and probably won't again for the rest of this month, i hope you don't freak out too much after reading shit that is said on this site and others and i hope you have a nice day

"Open your curtain, i'm watching you from the bushes... no not those bushes, the ones near the fence
yeah you can't see me, but i can see you, and thats the way i like it"

:) :kidding:

MikeKnick04
09-01-2005, 04:10 PM
Yes, MikeKnick04 is fucked in the head.
I don't know Narg, you and Mario are posting some queer stuff here.
My responses just branch off things said.

What if MikeKnick04 was fucked in the head by Keira?
1.Fucked
a)Sex- that would be alright for me, I don't know if anyone here would care for it but do I give a damn? No. {nice question Jet}

b)Shot/beat- that would hurt my heart more than my head, as it would explode when she'd start beating me. Hey, I'd be close to KK, but not the type of affection desired from both sides of the situation.

JackYang
09-01-2005, 06:08 PM
I don't know Narg, you and Mario are posting some queer stuff here.
My responses just branch off things said.


1.Fucked
a)Sex- that would be alright for me, I don't know if anyone here would care for it but do I give a damn? No. {nice question Jet}

b)Shot/beat- that would hurt my heart more than my head, as it would explode when she'd start beating me. Hey, I'd be close to KK, but not the type of affection desired from both sides of the situation.

Mines too! lol :D

antjl2020
09-01-2005, 07:09 PM
Originally Posted by Mags
If Keira ever does lurk on this forum (which has been suggested in the past), or even more likely, if her MOTHER does (which I think has actually been stated at one point in a letter to Paul) she's going to freak her shit out.


yeah just a quick note: sorry for posting what i did, i posted it during my "oh holy crap i think im going to die" moments (long story, im not mentally disturbed so its ok) and i just wanted to say sorry if Keira or any who knows her personally read it, and also sorry to any one else i may have freaked out mentioning badgers (another long story), on a side note, i dont usually rent films because of a certain actor/actress but Kerias films are the only exception to that 'rule' unless it is a good old Arnie 'lets shoot everything to really small bits miss the bad guys and achieve nothing except a great expenditure of valuable ammunition' film

MikeKnick04
09-01-2005, 07:26 PM
yeah just a quick note:...
that was quick?!?
Anyway, it is good to have you alive and well.
If I were you, I'd try and stay alive until Domino comes out, then jump. :kidding:
okay okay, ez back from the edge of the cliff :kidding:
right well now that's done with, another question

What IF?
Keira died?:icon_mecr

wayne09
09-01-2005, 07:40 PM
depends on how she'd die... however, i would probably open a window and jump

deviljet88
09-01-2005, 09:23 PM
that was quick?!?
Anyway, it is good to have you alive and well.
If I were you, I'd try and stay alive until Domino comes out, then jump. :kidding:
okay okay, ez back from the edge of the cliff :kidding:
right well now that's done with, another question

What IF?
Keira died?:icon_mecr
Everyone dies if you haven't figured.

What if enormously fanatical KK fans like wayne09 jumped out of windows the day Keira dies?

frodo1511
09-01-2005, 09:30 PM
What if enormously fanatical KK fans like wayne09 jumped out of windows the day Keira dies?

Noone would care. One less person in an ever-increasing world population.

What if Jesus returned to Earth?
What would he do for fun?

deviljet88
09-01-2005, 09:36 PM
Walk on water and calm the seas, then realise he was too late to save the thousands of tsunami victims.

What if Keira becomes the next Virgin Mary (just to keep it along the same line)?

frodo1511
09-01-2005, 09:46 PM
What if Keira becomes the next Virgin Mary (just to keep it along the same line)?

As in, "no sex" Mary?
Millions of boys/men would cry for 6 days.

Someone think of another.

wayne09
09-01-2005, 10:10 PM
Noone would care. One less person in an ever-increasing world population.

What if Jesus returned to Earth?
What would he do for fun?

You're probably right... (by the way, I'm no fan)
Otherwise, what if she got kidnapped by nasty terrorists wanting to cut her throat?

deviljet88
09-01-2005, 10:12 PM
Someone would pay a ransom and they'd release her. Or they'd execute her for being a woman of the infidel.

What if the terrorists were huge KK fans?

MikeKnick04
09-01-2005, 10:28 PM
Noone would care. One less person in an ever-increasing world population.

What if Jesus returned to Earth?
What would he do for fun?
Easy there Uncle Scrooge.
Jesus comes back, I would go to church more often{maybe, okay yes}
Fun, hum...clubbing, sporting events, then cleanse the terrorist threats.
Yeah that would be a good day's work.

What IF?
Keira got hit by a train tomorrow? knock on wood lads

deviljet88
09-01-2005, 10:31 PM
We'd mourn, KKW would disband and you'd have to find another forum to spam in. So would I in that matter.

Dionysus
09-01-2005, 11:57 PM
What if Jesus returned to Earth?
What would he do for fun?

the guys in white coats would come and get him and lock him up, for obviously being a loony

Jacoby
10-01-2005, 12:19 AM
What if the terrorists were huge KK fans?

Haha, that's so fun to think about. Some terrorist has an activity marked on a calendar, then they pan out and it's the Keira Calendar.

frodo1511
10-01-2005, 12:27 AM
What if the terrorists were huge KK fans?

What if KK was a huge terrorist fan? (I know it's bad, but inevitable)

Jacoby
10-01-2005, 12:52 AM
What if Mike gets banned tomorrow by Apoggy because he goes too far?

apoggy
10-01-2005, 12:59 AM
what if he got banned?

deviljet88
10-01-2005, 01:06 AM
The people of KKW would rejoice, then various people would annoy other various people.

What if Keira married Bill Gates?

MasterMoFo
10-01-2005, 01:41 AM
The people of KKW would rejoice, then various people would annoy other various people.

What if Keira married Bill Gates?

Anyone rejoicing yet? I don't see any yet...hum...maybe some

That question is idiotic pal...but I think KK would be rich huh

apoggy
10-01-2005, 01:48 AM
fuck off bitch, im not stupid

Dionysus
11-01-2005, 01:35 PM
in the spirit of another thread in this forum

what if keira bacame a member of this forum and was somehow able to prove that it is actually her and not some fat 44 year old russian guy, and she came on here alot
...hmm thatd be cool

anyway, what sorta stuff would you say (post) to her

and try not to scare her off

SimplyKnightley
12-01-2005, 12:09 AM
in the spirit of another thread in this forum

what if keira bacame a member of this forum and was somehow able to prove that it is actually her and not some fat 44 year old russian guy, and she came on here alot
...hmm thatd be cool

anyway, what sorta stuff would you say (post) to her

and try not to scare her off

i'd ask her to organise a private kkwavefront gathering for all its members with her as the host and everything at her expense of course :icon_beer

qn: If keira organise a private gathering, what gift would you bring for her to leave a lasting impression?

Jacoby
12-01-2005, 12:33 AM
qn: If keira organise a private gathering, what gift would you bring for her to leave a lasting impression?

A Chia Pet.

What if prostitution became legal? You think Narg would be pissed that the government is taking money out of his paycheck?

deviljet88
12-01-2005, 03:52 AM
Girls held down by strict parents will flock to become prostitutes.

What if Keira was a checkout chick?

hasselbrad
12-01-2005, 11:58 AM
A Chia Pet.

What if prostitution became legal? You think Narg would be pissed that the government is taking money out of his paycheck?

Totally. Although he told me that it would be nice not getting thrown in the pokey every other night. He's all about the tradeoffs.

Narg
12-01-2005, 01:02 PM
I would be pissed if some legit person started movin in on my turf, but then again, im sure jet-the-pushbike-riding-pimp, would busta-cap.

Dionysus
12-01-2005, 01:19 PM
What if Keira was a checkout chick?

id be fuckin broke from buying 1,000,000 packs of gum, 1 at a time

what would you do if keira was a checkout chick, and SHORT-CHANGED you

frodo1511
13-01-2005, 09:44 PM
what would you do if keira was a checkout chick, and SHORT-CHANGED you

I'd see to it that she recieves the harshest punishment available.

deviljet88
14-01-2005, 02:32 AM
What if she gets fired and you never see her again? That's right, a few people would maul you :P Alternative answers accepted.

meegaan1
14-01-2005, 08:43 PM
What if she gets fired and you never see her again?
I would do everything short of kidnapping the President to find her again...and then die in a sad, dirty, little, dark hole.

What if Keira was your dog?

Flightfreak
14-01-2005, 09:01 PM
I would do everything short of kidnapping the President to find her again...and then die in a sad, dirty, little, dark hole.

What if Keira was your dog?

Than I would laugh my ass of :)
*Imagines Keira drooling for a piece of cheese* :D

what if Keira was a guy?

FooTM
14-01-2005, 09:40 PM
Than I would laugh my ass of :)
*Imagines Keira drooling for a piece of cheese* :D

what if Keira was a guy?

then I would be gay.

what if you ran over keira in your hummer?

deviljet88
15-01-2005, 01:34 AM
She'd be flatter.

What if Keira ran over you in a hummer?

Jacoby
15-01-2005, 01:52 AM
She'd be flatter.

What if Keira ran over you in a hummer?
I'd probably be dead.

What if Keira ate your computer?

Ranman
15-01-2005, 02:06 AM
backslap the bitch and make her buy me a new one

what if keira wanted to have really kinky sex with you

deviljet88
15-01-2005, 02:33 AM
I'd have kinky sex with her.

What if Keira wanted to castrate you?

Jacoby
15-01-2005, 02:47 AM
What if Keira wanted to castrate you?
I think Ranman just asked that question...

What if this thread sucks?

deviljet88
15-01-2005, 02:52 AM
It already does. Anyway, kinky sex doesn't mean she'll castrate you, so answer me properly :P

Jacoby
15-01-2005, 02:54 AM
It already does. Anyway, kinky sex doesn't mean she'll castrate you, so answer me properly :P

What if I don't? :P

deviljet88
15-01-2005, 03:01 AM
Then the thread goes nowhere I guess.

What if Mario ran off with your girlfriend?

Jacoby
15-01-2005, 03:23 AM
Then the thread goes nowhere I guess.

Nevermind. ;)
What if Mario ran off with your girlfriend?

Then I would have -1 girlfriends.

What if you went to pet a Koala bear, and it attacked you?

Liam
15-01-2005, 03:34 AM
You'd be a right, bloody mess, thats what.

meegaan1
15-01-2005, 04:54 AM
To the Koala Question:
I'd videotape it and make people pay to see it.
What if you could buy Keira Flavored Jelly?

deviljet88
15-01-2005, 07:41 AM
Cannibals would have a riot of a time.

What if Keira made her own brand of lingerie?

Mandy
15-01-2005, 07:57 AM
Only people with mosquito bite sized tits could wear it.

crackwh0re
15-01-2005, 08:01 AM
what if you all had a life... :err:

Liam
15-01-2005, 08:02 AM
The world would end in a cataclysmic explosion.

deviljet88
15-01-2005, 09:01 AM
What if Liam ever bothered to post a question with his reply?

Liam
15-01-2005, 09:32 AM
The world would end in a cataclysmic explosion.

deviljet88
15-01-2005, 09:34 AM
Thank god you didn't post a question then.

What if KKW was closed down due to the abundance of Keira stalkers around here?

Ranman
15-01-2005, 10:16 AM
Id hire a team of ninjas to take out the stalkers

what if you and your best friend were stranded on a island and keira was there and only wanted to have relations with your friend

Dionysus
15-01-2005, 10:24 AM
simple
id kill him
then its just me and her
fun all around

what if keira decided to not make any more movies after the ones shes already signed to

deviljet88
15-01-2005, 10:51 AM
KKW wouldn't get any more active than it is now.

What if Keira decided to become a lesbian?

Ranman
15-01-2005, 10:55 AM
Simple sex change operation

what if you were in kk pants and felt a penis

deviljet88
15-01-2005, 11:12 AM
Check if it wasn't a strap-on.

What if you stuck your hands down your pants after your sex change, realised you didn't have a penis?

Dionysus
15-01-2005, 11:18 AM
errrr...isnt that the general idea of a sex change?