PDA

View Full Version : To All Americans...


barrington
06-11-2004, 02:30 PM
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part.

Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee' and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of
"-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents. Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.

While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game.

Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "****".

You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager".

The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be
referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation.

(from the Relic Boards, author unknown)

johnnyboy
06-11-2004, 02:42 PM
I love you

Renegade
06-11-2004, 02:49 PM
Haha. I wholeheartedly agree with everything in that post, except for tasks 1-14. 15 is nice though. I've come to 3 conclusions:

1.) $6 a gallon is absurd. I sympathize.
2.) Europe has it's own "American football" league I believe.
3.) If the Queen would like to change the very foundations of our dialect, she may do so, only if she is willing to appear on Fear Factor.

Jacoby
06-11-2004, 04:53 PM
Meh. I like it here. The way it is.

I love you

I want you out of my country.

ryan
06-11-2004, 05:48 PM
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.



I didn't go any further after reading that crap.

If it's such a fucking big deal to you non-Americans, become an American citizen and start voting. Til then, give it a rest already. It's old and tired.

Sarah
06-11-2004, 05:56 PM
Well said Baz. You, like, totally rule.

marry rich people
06-11-2004, 06:06 PM
I didn't go any further after reading that crap.

Ryan's just bitter that the person the he voted for...won.

MeggieHoops
06-11-2004, 06:07 PM
Man that was stupid.

Timmy
06-11-2004, 06:15 PM
i love being British lol

Mandy
06-11-2004, 06:25 PM
i love being British lol

You can be british and live in scotland at the same time?

Jacoby
06-11-2004, 06:38 PM
You can be british and live in scotland at the same time?

Um...yeah...Britain isn't just England. Wait, no, I'm right...I think.

seitanic
06-11-2004, 06:39 PM
I am in favour of this.

Jacoby
06-11-2004, 06:45 PM
I love you

Well said Baz. You, like, totally rule.

Yeah, Baz. You're really good at copy/pasting. He didn't write this, people. He even said at the bottom he got it from relic forums, and the kid there got it from an email.

I love how you said you can't stand to watch the Family Guy episode with the British stereotypes, Sarah. And then you mock this stereotype. It's hypocritical, and quite frankly, it's down right ridonkulous.

barrington
06-11-2004, 06:54 PM
You need to remove the sticks from your collective rectums.

IBO
06-11-2004, 08:05 PM
Well actually if you looked beyond your backyard you might notice that there is American football in Europe. It’s called NFL Europe. Perhaps the reason that not a lot of countries play football is because it is an expensive sport. If you examine the major sports in Europe and the rest of the world you’ll notice there cheap to play. Soccer is the cheapest sport to play, all you need is a ball. Don’t get me wrong I like soccer and all, but you can’t put down other sports. And soccer is not a difficult game to play, it’s such a simple concept.

‘God save the queen’ Have you been brainwashed? I’ll leave it at that!

Rugby is a stupid sport, football is much better!

Again if you searched beyond your backyard you will notice that Baseball is played in all countries. Maybe not at an elite level, but it’s there nonetheless. Also Canada has an MLB team. Also there are player from all over the world in the MLB.


"Indecisive Day" Riiiiiight?

Roundabouts. What a foolish way to organize the streets. Traffic lights are much better and organized.

The automobile was created in America, But I have to say European cars are better. I stick to driving on the right side of the road. It’s you that is backwards.

All and all, you wrote a lot of illogical stuff please reframe from doing so again.

What weeeere you thinking?

barrington
06-11-2004, 08:13 PM
I'm sorry? You're asking ME to refrain from doing something again?
Or maybe you didn't read that the author is unknown for the above.

IBO
06-11-2004, 08:14 PM
It's seems to me that you are backing this opinion. Why did you post it?


Also that was my opinion to the author, whoever it be.

barrington
06-11-2004, 08:54 PM
Yes, I am backing the author's opinion wholeheartedly.

Sarah
06-11-2004, 09:49 PM
You can be british and live in scotland at the same time?


Britain is England, N. ireland, Scotland and Wales. :)

and Jacoby, so what? Why can't I laugh at sterotypes? Thats what you all do about the British.

I don't give a shit.

Liam
06-11-2004, 10:06 PM
Ah, Bazzle. You've done it again mate.

gg.

doubly
06-11-2004, 10:21 PM
This thread really pisses me off. Perhaps the starter of this thread has to get off his proverbial high horse and realize (notice my proud American "z") that the American people, the populous of the most powerful nation of the world, have spoken and have chosen their president. Perhaps the starter must recogni"z"e that, despite our pitiable understanding of the world around us, our culture is exported around the world more than that of any other nation. There must be something about our ignorance that the world finds attractive. I, for one, do not want to dechristianize our conservative nation by bastardizing our airwaves with curse words and I don’t want to jeopardize the foundations of our country by letting terrorists terrorize our homeland. I agree with Jacoby when he says that the starter of this thread was being hypocritical in attacking American culture. You British can take your royalization and shove it up you ass. If the Middle East is democratized, then heap thanks upon the US and Americanization for making the world a safer place for ourselves and for those who criticize our ways.

Spire
06-11-2004, 10:33 PM
You don't live here so I don't give a damn. You'd say the same thing if I started ragging on Britain.

apoggy
06-11-2004, 10:52 PM
I think you'll find that it is Americans that are on their high horses.

no need to comment, Baz is British and therefore right

deviljet88
06-11-2004, 11:32 PM
It's finally time the British Commonwealth begins expanding again :) Join Australia in being lead by a head of state across the oceans :)

Spire
06-11-2004, 11:47 PM
I think you'll find that it is Americans that are on their high horses.

no need to comment, Baz is British and therefore right

I'm not on any high horse, you British are. I haven't seen any Americans being nearly as pretentious or cocky as you Brits.

Sarah
06-11-2004, 11:49 PM
I'm not on any high horse, you British are. I haven't seen any Americans being nearly as pretentious or cocky as you Brits.

Says you

Jacoby
06-11-2004, 11:55 PM
and Jacoby, so what? Why can't I laugh at sterotypes? Thats what you all do about the British.

I don't give a shit.

Sorry, must have mistaken you as someone who gave a shit. And that Family Guy episode is the only thing I can think of that mocks the British stereotype.

I like Doulby. He's a friend. I just hate how most Americans respect and usually look up to English people and then we get pissed on. It's not our personal faults that us Americans spell things differently. Or pronounce things certain ways. It was neither Spire, Doubly, nor myself that decided to call our football "football". Sorry about that. It doesn't make sense to me either. Honestly, when I joined the KKW last December, I seriously wanted so badly to be English. Ask some of my friends. I wanted to move to Devon so badly. I even spelled words the "proper" English way. But then I wasn't really enjoying what was being said, and realized that I shouldn't try to be English. This is sort of dragging off topic now. But my dreams of living in England are...soiled. I'll go there for a year in college. See how everything is. If everyone's a cunt about me being American, and I know they won't be (well hopefully), then I'll head back across the pond. So far I've talked to one English person who wasn't an ass to me about everything. And his name is Paul. He was cool. Crap, this is dragging off topic again. I vote for Duckula to make the American threads for now on.

Sarah
07-11-2004, 12:00 AM
I find is difficult to communicate with a lot of Americans. The first thing they normally ask is ''Do you know the queen'', or they'll say ''England is tiny... have you heard of Peter La-Bonis'' (or some other queer name) as if to say I should know every english person who lives.

I was reading some comments in the paper from Americans and they called England a ''third world country'' which ''I never want to visit''.

If that doesn't say something, what does.

deviljet88
07-11-2004, 12:01 AM
Nuh, Barrington's made me laugh more. Baz > Duck.

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 12:03 AM
I find is difficult to communicate with a lot of Americans. The first thing they normally ask is ''Do you know the queen'', or they'll say ''England is tiny... have you heard of Peter La-Bonis'' (or some other queer name) as if to say I should know every english person who lives.

I was reading some comments in the paper from Americans and they called England a ''third world country'' which ''I never want to visit''.

If that doesn't say something, what does.

What the fuck? Every single one of us said those things? They probably went to Missouri, or some shitty state like that, and asked what people thought of England. I don't understand why you're so patriotic. I heard Grimsby is pretty shitty. And I heard it from a Londoner.

johnnyboy
07-11-2004, 12:06 AM
Europe is > America, its got more freedom, but that's just my opinion.

I love America, don't get me wrong, everything is great, it just shocks me how a lot people in America can be so provincial in thought and action sometimes (example - gay marriage).

In case you didn't notice, I'm a liberal

Narg
07-11-2004, 12:26 AM
How much british arrogance can you cram into one post ?, Baz has answered my question.

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 12:36 AM
I love America, don't get me wrong, everything is great, it just shocks me how a lot people in America can be so provincial in thought and action sometimes (example - gay marriage).


Yeah, some people here are evil in those ways. I know what you mean.

NearokA
07-11-2004, 12:53 AM
You're absolutely right Bazzle. America is one fucked up country!

But we're still the number one superpower. lol. The last good thing that came from England? Fish N' chips. hehe. Watch out! You guys may yet have your worked cut out for you!

To have fish, or to have fish N' chips, that is the question, matey. Arrrgg!

Hazzle
07-11-2004, 01:57 AM
A sense of humour transplant is majorly needed by every fucking American...sorry...this was fucking HILARIOUS and it's not just the British who think so.

Oh yeah, and it's a British forum. Dedicated to a British actress. Started by a Brit. In fact, two of the admins are British, the other is a subject of Her Majesty whether he likes or not (and he finds this post funny so gg Liam), as is the guy whose server hosts the site...

In short. Baz is right.

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 02:08 AM
I don't see any humor in it...There's no jokes. Just some person telling us we suck. It's like me saying all short English people are losers. Where's the punch line?

Hazzle
07-11-2004, 02:10 AM
I don't see any humor in it...There's no jokes. Just some person telling us we suck. It's like me saying all short English people are losers. Where's the punch line?

It's filled with cutting sarcasm, satire, wit and ironic statements. However those are all forms of humour (it has a U in it) that require intelligence to spot, and which Americans are hardly famed for getting ;)

There's even social commentary in it (the petrol prices). It's no different to any other form of satire...you lot just don't get satire much. You DO know what satire IS, right?

bob
07-11-2004, 02:12 AM
it's the fact that americans can't poke fun at themselves. some of those things are true (especially about the extreme crappy quality of your beer)

it's an amusing piece that has been met with "you assholes suck" by half the american population of this board (regulars)

just look at 'grosse point'. one of the few gems to be created by theWB channel, cancelled after the first season because americans simply couldn't poke fun at themselves.

Hazzle
07-11-2004, 02:13 AM
it's the fact that americans can't poke fun at themselves. some of those things are true (especially about the extreme crappy quality of your beer)

it's an amusing piece that has been met with "you assholes suck" by half the american population of this board (regulars)

just look at 'grosse point'. one of the few gems to be created by theWB channel, cancelled after the first season because americans simply couldn't poke fun at themselves.

Truth. It's a real skill. I mean the British have been self-deprecating for years.

deviljet88
07-11-2004, 02:17 AM
They can't stand being poked at rather than themselves, since its something they wouldn't do to themselves.

bob
07-11-2004, 02:21 AM
Truth. It's a real skill. I mean the British have been self-deprecating for years.
as have the aussies. the simpsons can make a completely crazed stereotypical piece regarding aussies (crazed because some of those stereotypes were pulled straight from the creators arses) and we still take it all in good humour.

and let's face it, americans really DO need a better emphasis on geography in their schooling. the only reason americans know a bit more about australia is because of the friggen 2000 olympics. before then a lot of people still believed that there was a kangaroo lane on the harbour bridge.

Hazzle
07-11-2004, 02:23 AM
I actually have rethought my views on those episodes of the Simpsons which show stereotypes of England and Australia. I think perhaps the creators are actually satirising how Americans view the rest of the world...and how wrong they are? In the context of the satire that IS in the Simpsons (and thus why it is one of the best American comedies of all time), that would make sense.

bob
07-11-2004, 02:27 AM
obviously yes, i'd like to think that they're intelligent people (simpsons roxxors) but what's disturbing is the number of impressionable americans who view those episodes and take them for face value. i've actually had people ask me questions where they refer to that simpsons episode.

Hazzle
07-11-2004, 02:27 AM
obviously yes, i'd like to think that they're intelligent people (simpsons roxxors) but what's disturbing is the number of impressionable americans who view those episodes and take them for face value. i've actually had people ask me questions where they refer to that simpsons episode.

Aye...that's just Americans for you. We really should take the country back, in all seriousness.

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 02:32 AM
Am I not an inteligent American? Please, tell me. If I'm a fucking idiot, tell me. *Sees it coming* I'm not sure what Americans you're talking about.

Try and take back America, Haz. Even though we broke away. So you didn't give us anything. Try and take it. We'll shoot 2 of our own men, but still get you in the process. No worries, we have millions more to spare.

Liam
07-11-2004, 02:32 AM
You can be british and live in scotland at the same time?

Priceless.

The difference as I see it is that the British (and us, by extention) are able to laugh at themselves. Evidently, Americans cant. Honestly, this is light hearted stuff and nothing to get so fucking defensive over.

deviljet88
07-11-2004, 02:34 AM
Hm... wonder if the UK tries to take back the US whose side Australia's on... I hope all the monarchists attempt to assasinate Howard when he goes stick his support up Bush's ass.

doubly
07-11-2004, 02:36 AM
I guess I had better apologize for some of the brash comments I have made (particularly the one involving royal crowns and rectums). I'm just sick of people bashing America without knowing much about it. Britain is the foremost ally with America in its war against terror and its closest brother-nation culturally.

This thread has retrogressed into name-calling (which I probably started). It makes you wonder why the nations of the world can't unite under the binding theme of this association--our love for Keira Knightley. Wouldn't the world be a better place?

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 02:37 AM
The difference as I see it is that the British (and us, by extention) are able to laugh at themselves. Evidently, Americans cant.

And you're basing this on? A WB show that probably sucked balls anyway. South Park makes fun of American culture. Team America World Police. Both praised here. But whatever.

Liam
07-11-2004, 02:39 AM
And you're basing this on?

The response this thread got? Pretty reliable indicator, one feels.

deviljet88
07-11-2004, 02:41 AM
And we've got Kath and Kim, Russel Coight series, Crocodile Dundee, nearly all the sketch shows, Steve Irwin, etc etc. Pfft, we can take the piss out of ourselves easy compared to your 2 shows, which are made by the same people anyway.

No doubly, it wouldn't be a better place. A place of love for Keira Knightley is like... nothing.

bob
07-11-2004, 02:45 AM
jacoby, the fact that you're so defensive about this demonstrates the lack of a sense of humour.

and south park tends to draw in an audience of 8-14yr olds. how many kids that age understand the satirical undertones of the show? they just like to hear cartoons swear. i'm making a generalistion here but i think it's a fairly valid one.

as for the WB show, it merely suggested the american audience's inability to understand subtle humour directed at themselves. on the surface it was a silly and pointless show, which is probably what most of the audience thought - hence cancellation. i know that over in australia the show was a big hit.

and yes, mandy's comment was classic.

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 02:55 AM
jacoby, the fact that you're so defensive about this demonstrates the lack of a sense of humour.


I'm only defensive about it here because all the other American people pretend they're British and say "Oh, it's funny cus we're stoopid. I get it!". Seriously, Kelsey and I swore to stand up for our country because most of the Americans here talk shit about it to try and please people of differnet countries. It's ridiculous.

Where's Kelsey?

bob
07-11-2004, 03:05 AM
well you have to admit that with a population over 300 million there's bound to be a large number of idiots within your country. and the bad always overshadows the good.

and it's satirical. if you can laugh at south park or team america surely you can find a bit of humour in this piece? ah well, i pass judgement because it's not my country.

deviljet88
07-11-2004, 03:06 AM
Not here when you need her to be obviously. Also not all the other Americans did what you said. Ryan was defensive, but only for 1 post :P

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 03:08 AM
and it's satirical. if you can laugh at south park or team america surely you can find a bit of humour in this piece? ah well, i pass judgement because it's not my country.

Different style of humor I guess. A lot of it's true and blunt, yes, which makes it funny. But I just can't see it as a joke. Shit, I guess I love my country. But yeah, there are a lot of idiots here. And unfortunately, they're the only people that are televized. I have a lot of material to make fun of this country, but I just can't do it. *shrugs* I'm sorry I don't have a sense of humor.

ryan
07-11-2004, 03:08 AM
Priceless.

The difference as I see it is that the British (and us, by extention) are able to laugh at themselves. Evidently, Americans cant. Honestly, this is light hearted stuff and nothing to get so fucking defensive over.

It gets old and tired when every non-American bitches about the election. You can only take the little jokes for so long before they become annoying.
People just need to give it a rest...

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 03:11 AM
Not here when you need her to be obviously. Also not all the other Americans did what you said. Ryan was defensive, but only for 1 post :P

Yeah, Ryan seems to stick up for his beliefs.

I'm done with this thread. Don't hold me up to the last statement.

bob
07-11-2004, 03:14 AM
personally i've forgotten about the election. to me it seems like there never was one and bush is just around as he has been for the past 4 years. but then... i didn't follow the election coverage so maybe that's why i'm not so miffed.

Liam
07-11-2004, 03:25 AM
The best thing to do it let everyone have their fun. If you dont stir people up, they will get bored of it soon enough. Did it strike anyone that the thread was started to see what sort of response it could get?

On the note of the election, I followed it with a geniune interest because I have enough of a brain to realise that hey, this doesn't just affect America. Whether anyone else realises it or not, the outcome of the election had an effect on my country, my economy, my military and the price of my pancake mix. I like to think I'm bright enough to stand out from the regular crowd of election blow ins. If I haven't conducted myself in that manner then fine, fuck it, I apologise, but as an adult I like to keep myself informed and abreast of whats going on in the world.

If that makes me a bad person, then so be it.

Take it to PM if you want to continue the fighting.

bob
07-11-2004, 03:33 AM
well howard won anyway. although i wonder whether the FTA would have gone ahead if bush hadn't been re-elected.... ? probably would have.

but regardless of bush, i'd still be looking at higher hecs fees (fucking howard...)

Sarah
07-11-2004, 12:07 PM
What the fuck? Every single one of us said those things? They probably went to Missouri, or some shitty state like that, and asked what people thought of England. I don't understand why you're so patriotic. I heard Grimsby is pretty shitty. And I heard it from a Londoner.

Don't fucking bring my town into this. Whoever said it is shitty has probably never even been to Grimsby SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY TOWN.

bob
07-11-2004, 01:00 PM
hey, anyone's free to pay out sydney if they'd like. only my town rules, so if you do try to pay it out then you'll end up looking like a douchebag. sucks to all of yers :p

apoggy
07-11-2004, 02:30 PM
I think people need to chill t he fuck out a lkittle bit. I thought we were all old enough to be better than resorting to petty arguments revolving around comments such as 'you are shity' or 'your mum is a whore'.

Why not grow up eh? The lot of you.

Ive been on KKW long enough to understand that disagreements do happen, but also to know that none of it should be taken too personally as we are a community that is diverse in its cultures and clashes will occur.

Don't make me tell your mummies (note: no egyptian mummies will be reanimated in the process)

Chill out, have a warm English beer, and rest easy with the knowledge that I've told you stop being idiotic.

NearokA
07-11-2004, 03:51 PM
I think people need to chill t he fuck out a lkittle bit. I thought we were all old enough to be better than resorting to petty arguments revolving around comments such as 'you are shity' or 'your mum is a whore'.

Why not grow up eh? The lot of you.

Ive been on KKW long enough to understand that disagreements do happen, but also to know that none of it should be taken too personally as we are a community that is diverse in its cultures and clashes will occur.

Don't make me tell your mummies (note: no egyptian mummies will be reanimated in the process)

Chill out, have a warm English beer, and rest easy with the knowledge that I've told you stop being idiotic.

Pride.

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 04:27 PM
I think people need to chill t he fuck out a lkittle bit. I thought we were all old enough to be better than resorting to petty arguments revolving around comments such as 'you are shity' or 'your mum is a whore'.


You're right. I guess I proved what was said in post #1. Sorry.

acliff
07-11-2004, 04:32 PM
What the fuck? Every single one of us said those things? They probably went to Missouri, or some shitty state like that, and asked what people thought of England. I don't understand why you're so patriotic. I heard Grimsby is pretty shitty. And I heard it from a Londoner.

Don't fucking bring my town into this. Whoever said it is shitty has probably never even been to Grimsby SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY TOWN.

I can hear the wedding bells already....

Am I the only person hugely amused by how petulant everyone is?
People taking huge personal offense for something written on the internet? Say it ain't so...
A thread full of mindless patriotism mixed in with a undeserved air of superiority on both sides of the ocean. With a garnish of Australians to spice it up a little. I like it.

However, to those people who are intentionally making it worse, putting out outrageous statements to incite anger, to cover up for the fact that they don't actually have a clue what they're talking about, you're not smart, you're not clever, and everyone else knows it. So shut the fuck up, mmkay?

Jacoby
07-11-2004, 04:41 PM
Don't fucking bring my town into this. Whoever said it is shitty has probably never even been to Grimsby SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY TOWN.

Don't fucking bring my country into this. Whoever said it is shitty has probably never even been to America SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY COUNTRY. :p

Sarah
07-11-2004, 06:26 PM
Don't fucking bring my country into this. Whoever said it is shitty has probably never even been to America SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY COUNTRY. :p

Its one thing to bring a country into it, (take the piss out of england, I don't care) but its on a much more personal level when its someone's town.

So just lay off and don't bitch about Grimsby.

apoggy
07-11-2004, 06:29 PM
I don't care what people say about me, my town or my country. Those who are are just taking these things too seriously. You are better than that, there is no need to justify these people with a response, it only serves to encourage them more.

As Baz would say:

Christ on a bike, or mmmmm NP nipples.

Pete
07-11-2004, 06:46 PM
lmao need to arrange a bitch fight on neutral ground...
hmm iceland will do.....

can we all get along like civilised people?
either that or do a Jay and Silent Bob and get on a plane and beat each other up face to face.... up to you....

ryan
07-11-2004, 07:10 PM
Its one thing to bring a country into it, (take the piss out of england, I don't care) but its on a much more personal level when its someone's town.

So just lay off and don't bitch about Grimsby.

A bit touchy, are we?
And people say we get defensive.

Sarah
07-11-2004, 07:45 PM
A bit touchy, are we?
And people say we get defensive.

Yeah, I'm very defensive when its about Grimsby. You have no idea how much stick I get for living here.

I'm leaving this thread now. I've had enough of this place.

Spire
07-11-2004, 08:47 PM
Don't fucking bring my town into this. Whoever said it is shitty has probably never even been to Grimsby SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY TOWN.

Well you obviously don't have a sense of humor.

Americans have a sense of humor. British have a deep hunger for the cock.

And I never want to hear you Brits complaining that KKW is dead, or boring. It's your damn fault. You think you're better than everyone else, and it turns people away pretty quickly. You've killed it. So don't bitch about it.

Liam
07-11-2004, 08:49 PM
For crying in a fucking bucket.

Drop it. Its not hard. Next time, I'll lock the thread.

Hazzle
08-11-2004, 03:01 AM
For crying in a fucking bucket.

Drop it. Its not hard. Next time, I'll lock the thread.

EXACTLY.

Don't fucking bring my town into this. Whoever said it is shitty has probably never even been to Grimsby SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY TOWN.

I said it and I was kidding. As Sarah rightly points out, I've never fucking been.

Sense of humour people...sheesh...Liam's said it all and he's not even British...does it strike you as odd that the Aussies, who have more reason to favour the American position (as they hate our arses...age old rivalry...you know how it is) actually agree this is funny?

Sheesh people...chiiill. As EVERYONE has said it's just a joke...and Cliff, if you were trying to suggest I was inflaming the situation, everyone knows that when I make a broad generalisation I'm doing it AS A JOKE and it often works to deflate things. If it didn't work, fair enough, but I never posted with an intention to actually create more tension, because guess what? I have friends on both sides of the argument... :icon_roll

Ahh well...fine...people didn't see the funny side...some did...such is life...can we all get over it now? Yeah...that'd be good. Thanks :D Let's all have a mass orgy...so much better...:p

bob
08-11-2004, 03:25 AM
Sense of humour people...sheesh...Liam's said it all and he's not even British...does it strike you as odd that the Aussies, who have more reason to favour the American position (as they hate our arses...age old rivalry...you know how it is) actually agree this is funny?
well other than the fact that you guys suck much ass, i'm not really aware of any rivalry (but damn you for the rugby world cup) and supposedly australia has disliked america since WWII when we played host to their troops. not that i was around at the time, i just read this crap in incredibly biased grade10 history textbooks.

and i've heard that australians have a lot in common with canadians in terms of their sense of humour. all i know is that there are a lot of canadians in australian kids programs. what, did we have some sort of FTA with canada regarding the export of canadian children? who knows.

Kriv
08-11-2004, 06:23 AM
Dude if that would really happen......man how sweet would the world be, Canadian Pride Biatches!
:fencing:

btw - you all know Canadian Beer is the BEST!

Nick
08-11-2004, 06:59 AM
This seems to be turning into a feud between the Brits and Yanks. I'll tell you what Barrington I'll be more than happy to accept British rule again as long as you lower our dinking age to eighteen like yours and you provide us with Guinness straight from Ireland. I know you only control N. Ireland but I'm sure you can get a hold of some Guinness for us. :icon_guin
Anyway I totally agree with you about American beer, our beer sucks. So as long as you keep me inebriated with a good Irish brew you will never have to worry about me starting an uprising, I'll be perfectly content and happy in my drunken stupor.

Oh yeah and once you've taken over again just play lots of old Monty Python skits and Mr. Bean reruns on T.V.

The only problem I have is that I don't like the idea of being controlled by a monarch, there's too much room for tyranny there. Why can't you guys just take out the queen and the rest of the royal family. No offense but they're just a bunch of inbred idiots anyway. If you gave the queen some concrete shoes then I'd be more than happy to have British rule. Just incase you Brits don't know what concrete shoes are, being that you don't really have the Mafia or mobsters over there, concrete shoes refers to when you put a persons feet in a bucket of concrete and then when it dries you throw the person in the nearest body of water and the concrete causes the person to sink and drown. Now I know you're going to say I'm ignorant for saying that you don't have mobsters and gangs over there, but to be honest those little cliques you consider gangs would make American mobsters laugh.

Pete
08-11-2004, 10:21 AM
hmmm well id rather be ruled by a inbred monarch who is a bit like one of those old grannies who thinks your name is actually bradley or something than have a country controlled by President Blair... which i really would detest...

i realise we are quite close to that anyway but for it to actually come true would be the downfall of this country...

duckula
08-11-2004, 10:48 AM
This is possibly the most retarded couple of days this forum has seen. What is wrong with you people?

apoggy
08-11-2004, 11:16 AM
Well, that was a loaded question and a half Mr duck. Before people get a chance to reply I'm saving my sanity, or what I have left, and locking for now. As it is a good thread I'm sure we can reopen it at a later date when tensions arent as hightened as they are presently.