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Pygmalion
29-10-2004, 09:15 AM
Hey everyone, haven't been around for a while, but I REALLY need some help:

Ok. For almost a year I've been with my girlfriend, coincidentally for almost a year I've also been pretty screwed up ie: not eating, getting really depressed, cutting myself, that sort of thing.
So I'm in the middle of my final exams which determine whether or not I get into the university I want, and my girlfriend decides to tell me she cheated on me three times last weekend-blaming it on alcohol which I can sort of understand-but she wasn't going to tell me. She only told me because she was drunk when she was talking to me. Well as you could probably expect, I felt REALLY brilliant. We've been fighting on and off for about a week-during which I didn't do much study-and in every fight she manages to turn everything round and make ME feel guilty! Eg: "its your fault I gave Steve a handjob because you tuned off your phone."
After many tearful conversations with various friends I still don't have an answer. I cut myself more than usual and haven't eaten in 2 days, but I can't bring myself to break up with her. I know she manipulates me and makes me feel like shit, but i have a bizarre emotional attachment. I told her I trust her this weekend (more drunken nights out) but...
What do I do?

ryan
29-10-2004, 11:41 AM
you didn't put the alcohol in her system
you didn't put her on top of or make her touch another guy

it's 100% her fault. don't succumb to that manipulative bullshit. so your phone was off, big fucking deal. that doesn't mean she can do anything with other guys.
not your fault at all.

she needs to either take a hike or take the blame for what happened and really beg for forgiveness.

Hazzle
29-10-2004, 04:08 PM
you didn't put the alcohol in her system
you didn't put her on top of or make her touch another guy

it's 100% her fault. don't succumb to that manipulative bullshit. so your phone was off, big fucking deal. that doesn't mean she can do anything with other guys.
not your fault at all.

she needs to either take a hike or take the blame for what happened and really beg for forgiveness.

What he said. I did also kinda tell you this darling (yeah, apologies for the late reply on the latest email :()...I'm sure every single post here will agree you did nothing wrong.

Although...what'd you mean "another" guy? Pygs here is of the feminine persuasion dude...that's quite offensive :p

hasselbrad
29-10-2004, 04:58 PM
If being with someone causes you to do the things you say she makes you do, then that person isn't worth being with. Other than that, I don't know what to tell you.

Hazzle
29-10-2004, 05:31 PM
If being with someone causes you to do the things you say she makes you do, then that person isn't worth being with. Other than that, I don't know what to tell you.

<nods>. Hassel be a wise man...truth.

Noone's worth that. If she doesn't appreciate you, then she's not worth you doing that shit over, and she's certainly not worthy of having you in her life. I know you, better than most here I'd venture to guess, and I think you're fucking great...if she doesn't realise how lucky she is, that's her problem.

duckula
29-10-2004, 09:11 PM
Tell her you cheated on her, contracted AIDS and that she probably has it now. Then dump her.

Sarah
29-10-2004, 09:30 PM
Dump her and find yourself a real woman.

Hazzle
30-10-2004, 01:49 AM
Tell her you cheated on her, contracted AIDS and that she probably has it now. Then dump her.

I like Ducky's plan. See this is why I always go to Teh Duck for advice on how to deal with a sticky situation...he always knows what to do.

Dump her and find yourself a real woman.

Is that an invitation Sarah? I didn't know you swung that way (what do I care, it's all good fuel for the mental images ;))

barrington
30-10-2004, 03:46 PM
Hazzle's got more unused testosterone than a rabid stoat. And that's quite a lot.

bob
30-10-2004, 04:27 PM
firstly, dump the daft bitch. and try to do it when you're sober so that you'll remember that she IS a bitch (what are you doing getting drunk during finals?)

secondly, forget the hsc. there are other ways to get into the uni course you want. don't let it get you down because if you really think about it, it's not worth all the stress and depression (am i trying to convince you or myself? heh...)

edit: scrap that, don't forget the hsc. stop drinking, get to studying, try and do as well as you can given the time you have left. but don't let the implications of this milestone get you down. once it's over, it's over. just gotta move on... the same could be said about your girlfriend.

Hazzle
30-10-2004, 10:10 PM
Hazzle's got more unused testosterone than a rabid stoat. And that's quite a lot.

So it's you I have to thank for the spiffy new title? I'm LOVING it. It's true what you say too...more's the pity...anyone care to help me use that which is going to waste? :p

Bob <gasp> you're being such a bad influence on young Pygs. Do not forget about the HSC. If for nothing else than because those are my initials and I'll be MAJOR fucking pissed if young Pygs here forgot about moi :p

Ashlyn
31-10-2004, 12:19 AM
i sort of told you this before, but anyway... just do whatever makes you feel best while you're doing your HSC, then once it's over you can really think about it properly and sort out exactly what you want (with your girlfriend, that is). dont let something like this screw up the HSC for you.. when you're a bum and cant remember her name, you'll be sorry for letting this get in the way.

bob
31-10-2004, 03:21 AM
haz, are those seriously your initials?

the hsc sucks mucho asso. i find it's easier for me to give advice, rather than take it. so i'm a major ass hypocrite. i can be like "study, yeah, be organised, don't stress, it's not a big deal" and what am i doing? the exact opposite of everything i say.

IT SUCKS. i didn't answer half my paper on friday or my maths one on the previous monday, i didn't finish two essays for my two english papers. i'm doing worse than my trials, i had an estimate of 82 when my previous estimate was 89.5 and i was trying to get up to 92. i'm doing worse in the actual hsc meaning i'll probably do worse than my estimate. i'm going to get a uai under 80. i won't be elligible for ANY of my selected courses, i'm not going to get into UNI. i've fucked up big time.

but on that note, it's not the end of the world... :(

Hazzle
31-10-2004, 11:39 PM
haz, are those seriously your initials?

True story. My initials are synonymous with excrutiating pain...how surprising :p

I'm with Ashlyn on this Pygs...you know I am. Don't let it fuck you over. I've told you what I think you should do, but it can wait...and yeah...focus on the HSC, because end of the world or not (and Bob is right on that...it's not the end of the world fucking up exams, no matter how important they are) you'll be mad at yourself if the REASON you fuck up is some girl who quite frankly isn't fit to lick your boots (although I suppose it's not your boots you get her to lick ;) Sorry, bad joke...but it was too obvious not to make it...). Focus on the HSC, anything else is a secondary consideration for now. Right now it's fucking your head up and you don't need that.

barrington
01-11-2004, 01:26 AM
quoth duck: Women are whores. Why lie?

Hazzle
01-11-2004, 01:49 AM
quoth duck: Women are whores. Why lie?

True. At least men are honest about being sex-obsessed. We're honest about being whores.

bob
01-11-2004, 02:06 AM
it's called the virgin-whore dichotomy. men want whores, but they won't stay with them.

so we're whores but we keep up the pretense of being nice and innocent so that you won't go WHORING AROUND WITH THE SECRETARY!

you man whores.

-obviously i know nothing about the virgin-whore dichotomy, but it's fun to abuse you :)

Pygmalion
01-11-2004, 07:11 AM
ok, well we sorta broke up on sunday, and in that time I ripped up all her photos and letters and put them in a shoe box with "SLUT" on the top, then cried to my good friend for a few hours, during which we plotted out revenge, then *SHE* called me and said she wouldn't do it again and wanted to get back with me and me being the gutless person that I am, said ok.
SORT of regretting that now, but I can't seem to let go. Even when she told me I'm mentally ill.
By the way Bob, I WASN't drinking during my HSC lol.

bob
01-11-2004, 11:50 AM
your girl is a ho. i would bitch slap her... if i met her. actually i probably wouldn't, i'm intimidated by strangers. i think you seriously need to look at her (her personality/character, not her appearance :p ) don't think about your relationship with her. just review her for what she is, not what's she done for you or what she's said to you. i think you'll come to realise that the person she is, isn't very nice.

and good for you for not drinking during the hsc. cos that'd be a bad idea.

Hazzle
02-11-2004, 01:18 AM
She deserves a bitch-slap, no doubt. Whore.

Although Bob's point actually works quite well...I'd say men want whores but want to think they're innocent (hence the male obsession with schoolgirl outfits).

But Bob dearest...in rebuttal...women want men who're cunts...so we're SUPPOSED to whore ourselves around...as Green Day sang..."Nice Guys Finish Last".

bob
02-11-2004, 02:42 AM
She deserves a bitch-slap, no doubt. Whore.

Although Bob's point actually works quite well...I'd say men want whores but want to think they're innocent (hence the male obsession with schoolgirl outfits).

But Bob dearest...in rebuttal...women want men who're cunts...so we're SUPPOSED to whore ourselves around...as Green Day sang..."Nice Guys Finish Last".
we should note that all the green day members are married and billie joe armstrong drives a bmw (luxury family car)

women don't want men who are cunts (because that would mean women want women ;) ) and generally the worst thing a guy could do is cheat. people say that the 'nice' guy finishes last, that's not because he's necessarily a 'nice' guy, he's just a push-over without a personality who can't connect with the people around him. an actual nice guy is one who WOULDN'T CHEAT.

Hazzle
02-11-2004, 02:59 AM
we should note that all the green day members are married and billie joe armstrong drives a bmw (luxury family car)

But they got there by being cunts. Don't tell me you think they're all faithful...with all the groupie loving? Bollocks!

women don't want men who are cunts (because that would mean women want women ;) )

And that's untrue?!?! Nigh on EVERY woman I've ever been friends with has confessed to having a fantasy about sleeping with another woman...unless they're actually gay or bi and HAVE slept with another woman.

and generally the worst thing a guy could do is cheat. people say that the 'nice' guy finishes last, that's not because he's necessarily a 'nice' guy, he's just a push-over without a personality who can't connect with the people around him. an actual nice guy is one who WOULDN'T CHEAT.

Personally, I wouldn't cheat, but I'm a schmuck. Actual nice guys get nowhere...true story. I could list dozens of female friends I've had who go back to boyfriends who've cheated after I keep telling them "He's a cunt, why do you do that to yourself?"

Truth is many women seem to like being fucked over. It's sad...but I've seen it too many times to think it's not true. That doesn't mean I'm not going to continue to be who I am...but I tell you this...I bet you a cunt like Nearoka or Glare gets more women than any of the nice guys here...such is the sad state of affairs.

bob
02-11-2004, 03:20 AM
you're ruining my playful image of green day. they're nice guys... nice guys... :(

maybe your female friends have self-confidence issues. maybe that's why they've fantasized about being with another woman, because the guys they date are jerks and it's affected their opinion of the male population. so it's all relative :p

but we musn't talk about equality between the sexes. i went to a girl's school and we've had the topic of 'women's rights' shoved down our throats over the last 6 years (in literally every subject BUT maths) we're all sick of it. it's like they've brainwashed us into feminists, but we still try to resist.

Hazzle
02-11-2004, 10:47 PM
you're ruining my playful image of green day. they're nice guys... nice guys... :(

Hehe...course they are :p

maybe your female friends have self-confidence issues. maybe that's why they've fantasized about being with another woman, because the guys they date are jerks and it's affected their opinion of the male population. so it's all relative :p

True, they probably do have self-confidence issues. But then, don't most women? Seriously, women are more critical, for example, of their own appearance than ANY man would be of them. Women, apparently, dress not to impress men, but to impress other women...it's like women spend their entire lives living with the peer pressure one normally associates with teenagers. Maybe it's just penis envy <ducks>.

As for the guys they date being jerks, true, and it has affected their opinion of the male population...so much so they expect all men to be jerks (with just cause, to be fair...good blokes are few and far between) and thus "settle" for jerks time and time again. Still doesn't take away from the fact jerks often win...and thus that man-whoring has its advantages. Doesn't mean I'D do it, but like I said, I'm a schmuck (and yes, I know what schmuck means in Hebrew...I still like using the word :p).

but we musn't talk about equality between the sexes. i went to a girl's school and we've had the topic of 'women's rights' shoved down our throats over the last 6 years (in literally every subject BUT maths) we're all sick of it. it's like they've brainwashed us into feminists, but we still try to resist.

Hehe. I didn't realise we were talking about equality, I thought we were discussing whoring and whether men are predisposed to wanting slutty women who APPEAR to be innocent (the thin vaneer of naivette being necessary to fulfill some urge deep inside) and women predisposed to wanting cheating, lying, cocky arseholes. I'd answer yes to both, incidentally ;)

bob
03-11-2004, 01:32 AM
i have this sub-text in my head that's going "sleeping around makes men popular, sleeping around makes a woman a social pariah" so yeah, we mightn't have stepped directly on the issue of equality but it's swimming around in my head. argh.

True, they probably do have self-confidence issues. But then, don't most women? Seriously, women are more critical, for example, of their own appearance than ANY man would be of them. Women, apparently, dress not to impress men, but to impress other women...it's like women spend their entire lives living with the peer pressure one normally associates with teenagers. Maybe it's just penis envy <ducks>.
i'm going to ignore that last bit. as for the rest, yes, very much so. but that's because girl's are vicious! as they say, men fight with their fists, women with their words. we rely more on intellect rather than brute force :p

Hazzle
03-11-2004, 01:40 AM
i have this sub-text in my head that's going "sleeping around makes men popular, sleepin around makes a woman a social pariah" so yeah, we mightn't have stepped directly on the issue of equality but it's swimming around in my head. argh.

Meh...that's a myth women have concocted. Sleeping around makes men popular with other men, but not so popular with women. Sleeping around makes a woman a social pariah with other women, but VERRRY popular with men :p

as for the rest, yes, very much so. but that's because girl's are vicious! as they say, men fight with their fists, women with their words. we rely more on intellect rather than brute force :p

Yeah, but you're not especially gifted at fighting with either ;) I can out-bitch any girl alive :D

bob
03-11-2004, 01:48 AM
haz the bitch. on the topic of lieing, cheating assholes:

i don't think it's a matter of women wanting a lieing cheating asshole. i think the attraction has to do with the types of personalities that these sorts of characters exhibit. as my dad says, watch out for the charmers (cos they'll literally charm the pants off you) ;) for example, no-one likes a wife-beater. battered wife syndrome doesn't have to do with the woman finding the abuse attractive (if she does... er... chances are she's into s&m) they stay because a) hubby wasn't always like this and they're clinging, or b) hubby threatens to douse her with gasoline and light a match if she tries to leave him.

so when it comes to liars and cheaters, i think women are going a) but i like him and i can change him, or b) believe his lies because they want to and therefore this liar/cheater isn't a liar/cheater in the woman's eyes.

it's amazing what people can fool themselves into believing. i see a lot of girls who are constantly worrying about what their boyfriends are up to. whether it's "i haven't seen him in a while, i don't know if he still likes me" or "i saw him talking to this girl and i don't know what to think". most of these times, girls will just blame it on themselves. they think they're overreacting and should trust the guy more (sometimes they really should) or they think that they must have done something wrong for the guy to have cheated on them, when really the guy's just a jerk. we come up with all sorts of excuses for the guy, all the while blaming ourselves.

Hazzle
03-11-2004, 01:49 AM
I didn't say it WAS women WANTING liars and cheaters...I actually agree with your two reasons for why women end up with liars and cheaters...

Women marry men hoping they'll change, and they don't. Men marry women hoping they won't change and they do.

bob
03-11-2004, 01:55 AM
this is all very depressing. men's oppression of women in this modern day and age.

but as it is, there ARE nice guys out there. just have to make sure they don't succumb to peer pressure and become a triad gangsta or whatever (stupid asians, argh!)

Hazzle
03-11-2004, 02:11 AM
this is all very depressing. men's oppression of women in this modern day and age.

Hehe. To be fair the problem lies with your end, not ours. I mean I hate to say this, but Nearoka has a point...if women stopped thinking "I can change him" and stopped acting like they want men to be cunts...then a LOT more guys would actually be nice. I swear so many decent blokes who've been burnt by losing out on a girl, or girls, to absolute cunts, end up becoming cunts. If you can't beat them, join them, and all that. I mean men ARE being educated on equality and so forth...but women keep reinforcing the gender stereotypes themselves.

but as it is, there ARE nice guys out there. just have to make sure they don't succumb to peer pressure and become a triad gangsta or whatever (stupid asians, argh!)

Well like I said...I think women are as much to blame for the nice guys changing as anyone. It's sad...isn't it? But such is life.

bob
03-11-2004, 02:21 AM
Hehe. To be fair the problem lies with your end, not ours. I mean I hate to say this, but Nearoka has a point...if women stopped thinking "I can change him" and stopped acting like they want men to be cunts...then a LOT more guys would actually be nice. I swear so many decent blokes who've been burnt by losing out on a girl, or girls, to absolute cunts, end up becoming cunts. If you can't beat them, join them, and all that. I mean men ARE being educated on equality and so forth...but women keep reinforcing the gender stereotypes themselves.
i can kinda see where you're coming from. i guess we expect too much of guys, and when we criticise them they turn ugly. i actually think i DO expect too much. but i also think it has to do with the maturity of guys my age. i guess being in a girls school i expect 18yr old guys to act the same as 18yr old girls (when in a sensible state of mind, of course) but a lot of the times they're just too obsessed with loving themselves.

but then that actually has more to do with 1) the fact that they come from a boys school, and 2) the fact that they're 'north sydney boys' and are therefore retarded by default (no seriously, it must be an enrolment requirement or something)

my opinion is warped by the social bubble i've existed in these past 6 years.

Well like I said...I think women are as much to blame for the nice guys changing as anyone. It's sad...isn't it? But such is life.
will you not allow me to insult my own race? i really don't get the obsession with being an asian ganster. it's so incredibly lame. i can't understand it at all! but then maybe i'm too white to get it :icon_redf

Hazzle
03-11-2004, 02:30 AM
Women expect men to be mature...BIIIG mistake :p.

It's weird...women seem to want men with a veil of confidence hiding a vulnerable guy inside, the whole man of mystery thing...and yet they want honest and open guys...it's totally contradictory.

We really should start a new thread for THIS topic however...What women want...dear LORD that'll take FOREVER :D

bob
03-11-2004, 02:36 AM
well consider this, every month a woman's hormones go completely out of wack and can send her into all sorts of unknown/hazardous emotional territories.

i guess we expect guys to be like a good 4 wheel drive. to be able to navigate the rocky terrain with us. but as it is, guys tend to maintain their one state (you should really be allowed a trial run with pms. it'd be an educational experience ;) )

i guess there's a certain expectation for someone to be sympathetic and be able to say/be all the rights things at the right time. i'd blame it on the uterus :p

Hazzle
03-11-2004, 02:43 AM
i guess there's a certain expectation for someone to be sympathetic and be able to say/be all the rights things at the right time.

Pffft. Women see men like that as like a brother, a sweet friend or even a gay friend. I speak from experience. Bitter? ME?! NEVER!!!

bob
03-11-2004, 02:49 AM
pining for a friend? or your.... sister? (kidding, just kidding :p)

no, that's very true also. we like gay guys, we want our men to be gay... but then that'd complicate things...

personally i like my guys to not be effeminate. and i actually don't think gay guys can necessarily communicate better. maybe provide sympathy, yes, because some might be in touch with their 'feminine side'. but really i think it's mostly urban myth.

Hazzle
03-11-2004, 02:52 AM
pining for a friend? or your.... sister? (kidding, just kidding :p)

You're one sick twisted girl.

I didn't really mean girls want gay guys, I meant that it's very tricky to balance the whole "being able to communicate" being "sensitive" thing and at the same time not get dumped squarely in the "friend" zone. Me and the zone are VERY old friends...and probably will be for the foreseeable future too. I'm not complaining overly, I mean I have some FANTASTIC female friends...it's just not great to know that the ticket to the zone is one-way.

bob
03-11-2004, 03:01 AM
meh, can't help you out.

i'm seriously just a school girl who's very cynical when it comes to teenage relationships. really i'm just biased. if a friend of mine has a nice boyfriend, i'll think it's the best thing in the world. make it someone totally unrelated to me and i'll say it's a teen fling and that they're being ridiculous.

although i guess my problem is that i tend to like guys who are friends. and that's just awkward. but i can definitely say that i'm all for nice guys. provided they have a personality.

Hazzle
03-11-2004, 03:07 AM
although i guess my problem is that i tend to like guys who are friends. and that's just awkward.

Hehe...well I know all about the awkwardness, and I doubt it differs across the two genders. Fun it ain't. Currently trying to work through one of those types of issues...it's going...so-so. The banter's flowing, which is always good...but from my side there's always going to be the undertone of the awkwardness. Ahh well...such is life, eh?

bob
03-11-2004, 03:13 AM
people will tell me that technically life's just starting for me. i'm not really in the need for a romantic relationship, though that'll probably change over the years. right now i still feel 12 :p so i plan to buy an xbox and really live it up.

Hazzle
03-11-2004, 03:21 AM
people will tell me that technically life's just starting for me. i'm not really in the need for a romantic relationship, though that'll probably change over the years. right now i still feel 12 :p so i plan to buy an xbox and really live it up.

Smart girl. My plan is an XBox for Chrimbo (I already have my trusty PS2) and I'll be utterly happy and be all like..."women? Meh...who needs them? I have GAMES!"

Yeah...I really am that sad :p

Have you noticed how a general discussion has just become you and I having a personal chat...I would bet good money a mod's going to tell us (read "us" as "me") off and suggest the use of PMs next time...then again having said that any mod thinking of it probably won't now to make me look stupid. Cunts.

I REALLY must get to bed...curse this damned US election. It's so much fun :D

bob
03-11-2004, 06:47 AM
Smart girl. My plan is an XBox for Chrimbo (I already have my trusty PS2) and I'll be utterly happy and be all like..."women? Meh...who needs them? I have GAMES!"

Yeah...I really am that sad :p

Have you noticed how a general discussion has just become you and I having a personal chat...I would bet good money a mod's going to tell us (read "us" as "me") off and suggest the use of PMs next time...then again having said that any mod thinking of it probably won't now to make me look stupid. Cunts.

I REALLY must get to bed...curse this damned US election. It's so much fun :D
election? what election? i'm watching doris day/rock hudson movies!

and yeah, we're the leaders when it comes to hijacking threads. but at least we're not spamming :p and our conversations are usually related to the original topic.

Pygmalion
03-11-2004, 06:58 AM
lol I think its grand. I officially re-christen this thread, the "talk about whatever you want" thread...maybe it should be moved...

Hazzle
04-11-2004, 12:25 AM
lol I think its grand. I officially re-christen this thread, the "talk about whatever you want" thread...maybe it should be moved...

You love it really darling ;) And anyway, we're just extrapolating from your original post about relationship woes and discussing relationship woes generally...it's all good.

Pygmalion
04-11-2004, 06:27 AM
hey bob, what subs did you do in year 12?