Keira's Home Address
Here's the deal, chaps. While we'd love to make your most idle dreams blossom to fruition by regaling all and sundry with Miss Knightley's address, you'll understand that we simply cannot do this.
Most fansites would argue that this is a serious breach of privacy and would open the turnstile of regretfulness to mysterious stalkerazzi. Not so here.
You see, Keira's dad is rather fussy old chap. Why, only last month dear Frankie incurred the shoutie-bawlie wrath of Daddy K by discarding a paltry half-consumed carton of Ribena on his brand new Brick-Weave drive. The new driveway is king.
The real reason we cannot divulge Keira's home address is that Will would kill us for sending so many eager young hopefuls to make a mess of his expensive new driveway. Not to mention the damage incurred on the Petunia beds, but I digress...
The least you need to know:
We can't give her home address, phone number or email address.
Because we're mean.
What we can offer by way of compensation are the contact details for Keira's agency, PFD, in London. This address, like a gawping Mongoose, will gladly receive your love-heart teddybears and other assorted knick-knacks. Indeed, if you care to send a well-printed photo of Miss Knightley from this very site, you may very well find it on your mat by return of post sporting an altogether rather spiffing autograph. Truth.
Here's the skinny:
c/o Lindy King
130 Shaftesbury Avenue
All we ask is that you bequeath fifteen percent of your annual salary to the Keira Knightley Wavefront Beer Foundation in order that we may continue providing the community with nuggets of joyous practicality such as the above.